Does anyone have a Demonoid account and an available invite? Could you send one my way please. I really need it this time. Once I've signed-up for a Demonoid account myself, I'll let you use the invite I have any which way you want. I just really need one right now. Hope someone can help me out...
Just reply to this post and I'll contact you immediately. Thanks!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
a good laugh...
It's a no-branier literally...for those of you who enjot watching cartoons/anime that do nothing but try to make you laugh, go ahead and downloiad THIS (Torrent application needed!) file and have at it!Lucky Star portrays the lives of several
school girls attending a Japanese high school with a very loose humor
tone. The main heroine is Konata Izumi, an athletic and intelligent
girl who, despite these attributes, is not in a sports club, and her
grades remain low. Her laziness at school is due to her love for anime
and video games, and is not interested in much else. The serialization
began with the four main characters in their first year of high school:
Konata Izumi, Kagami Hiiragi, Tsukasa Hiiragi, and Miyuki Takara. As
the story progresses, they move onto their second and third year.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
a challenge for those with amazing fortitude...
I dare you...no...I CHALLENGE YOU to watch THIS for two straight hours with the volume set on max!!!
The longest I could muster was an amazing five minutes...
The longest I could muster was an amazing five minutes...
can't wait 'til the bastard drops dead...
God! I just want my father to fucking disappear from this world!
The family just finished eating lunch sans my melodramatic father of course. I cooked honeyed baby back ribs and baked potatoes. I'm actually glad he doesn't eat with us that much, I'm afraid I'll simply get indigestion. He was ranting the whole time my mom, my sister and I were eating. He was telling us how we shouldn't go to Quezon for our planned summer trip. When, he wasn't able to illicit a response with that bullshit, he continued to site a litany of other reasons we shouldn't go.
"The van is not safe for a long trip right now..."
"We'll find ourselves in deep shit if the alternator breaks down..."
"I don't have money right now..." (Who asked you to pay dipshit?)
"We could use the money for the house and food instead..." (not your money bud...)
"We'll be burning gas..." (You're burning my patience you old fart!)
"No one's even helping me with the repairs for the van..." (Huh? what does have got to do with It?)
"I'm so tired of cleaning the parking area..." (obviously we're getting off course here)
"That van has been nothing but a pain in the ass..." (getting farther...)
"I've been spending too much money and time in the upkeep of that vehicle..." (and farther...)
"You're all living a charmed life while I've been working so hard..." (and he lost us.)
AND BESIDES YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB! REMEMBER WHEN YOU QUIT ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO BECAUSE YOU HAD TOO MUCH GODAMN PRIDE?!
I really hope my dad drops dead soon. Preferrably in quick fashion, that way we wouldn't have to spend a dime for hospital bills. But then again, there's the coroner's expenses, coffin...heck! I just hope he becomes mute,
Leave it to good'ol dad to ruin a nice lunch.
The family just finished eating lunch sans my melodramatic father of course. I cooked honeyed baby back ribs and baked potatoes. I'm actually glad he doesn't eat with us that much, I'm afraid I'll simply get indigestion. He was ranting the whole time my mom, my sister and I were eating. He was telling us how we shouldn't go to Quezon for our planned summer trip. When, he wasn't able to illicit a response with that bullshit, he continued to site a litany of other reasons we shouldn't go.
"The van is not safe for a long trip right now..."
"We'll find ourselves in deep shit if the alternator breaks down..."
"I don't have money right now..." (Who asked you to pay dipshit?)
"We could use the money for the house and food instead..." (not your money bud...)
"We'll be burning gas..." (You're burning my patience you old fart!)
"No one's even helping me with the repairs for the van..." (Huh? what does have got to do with It?)
"I'm so tired of cleaning the parking area..." (obviously we're getting off course here)
"That van has been nothing but a pain in the ass..." (getting farther...)
"I've been spending too much money and time in the upkeep of that vehicle..." (and farther...)
"You're all living a charmed life while I've been working so hard..." (and he lost us.)
AND BESIDES YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB! REMEMBER WHEN YOU QUIT ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO BECAUSE YOU HAD TOO MUCH GODAMN PRIDE?!
I really hope my dad drops dead soon. Preferrably in quick fashion, that way we wouldn't have to spend a dime for hospital bills. But then again, there's the coroner's expenses, coffin...heck! I just hope he becomes mute,
Leave it to good'ol dad to ruin a nice lunch.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
ch-ch-changes...
I'm currently trying to resucitate my dying (if not long-dead) MySpace page. I have (wait lemme count...) FOUR CONTACTS!!! And everybody knows that Tom is a default contatc right???
Hmmm...I'm also pimping this site to my friends and urging them to get a Multiply account and start digitizing their lifestyle! I mean...in this day and age, it's easier to have close to everything readily available on the net. I won't go to the extent of compromising the security of my identity but I sure am all for sharing my life online.
It's now easier to reach out to more people and connect in a myriad of ways.
Hmmm...I'm also pimping this site to my friends and urging them to get a Multiply account and start digitizing their lifestyle! I mean...in this day and age, it's easier to have close to everything readily available on the net. I won't go to the extent of compromising the security of my identity but I sure am all for sharing my life online.
It's now easier to reach out to more people and connect in a myriad of ways.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
dirrrty secret...
Okay...I ran across tons of videos on YouTube with emo guys in them. Okay!!! I happen to have this huge interest on the emo haircut! So sue me...but then...emo guys kissing?! Whoa!!!
Watch it...and react...
whew...I don't even know where to begin!
Watch it...and react...
whew...I don't even know where to begin!
fucking hilarious!
Watch this...milk came out of my nose because of this!
Yeah...THEY ARE SOOOOO NOT GAY!!!
Yeah...THEY ARE SOOOOO NOT GAY!!!
cool new way to procrastinate
I stumbled on a new piece of technology a few minutes ago. It's time to let go of the Windows Media Edition dancers and (in some cases) desktop strippers!
Click on this LINK to see what I'm talking about. It's called Weblin avatar. It puts a new twist to your boring web surfing rituals and gives you the option to socialize while on the fly.
Trust me, after a few minutes of fixing my avatar...I WAS HOOKED!
Click on this LINK to see what I'm talking about. It's called Weblin avatar. It puts a new twist to your boring web surfing rituals and gives you the option to socialize while on the fly.
Trust me, after a few minutes of fixing my avatar...I WAS HOOKED!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
to all those sell-out poptarts...
Here's a clear message from Ms. Alanis Morissette:
God...I'm sick of seeing over-produced, robot-manufactured, fresh of the mill videos that do everything to cover up the fact that most songs nowadays are trash. Gone are the days of meaningful, poetic, emotion-rich lyrics. Artists are dime a dozen these days and "real talent" is clearly being trampled upon by "humps" in all those nasty videos.
God...I'm sick of seeing over-produced, robot-manufactured, fresh of the mill videos that do everything to cover up the fact that most songs nowadays are trash. Gone are the days of meaningful, poetic, emotion-rich lyrics. Artists are dime a dozen these days and "real talent" is clearly being trampled upon by "humps" in all those nasty videos.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
evolution of thought...
Wow...days have passed without posting anything. It's certainly not the longest time I've strayed from blogging but it's the longest since I had the DSL connection set up.
A lot has happened these past few days. The last post I made was in my Blogger account...had something to do with paying bills and my complete inability to do so at that time. I'll just have that cross-posted when I publish this. I actually asked my sister to find buyers for my PSP UMDs (cds) collection and gave an offer of 1500 Php a pop...quite cheap actually considering they're all in very good condition and I was the first owner for all of them. The moment I sent her that text, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried, not just tears but the snot-inducing type of crying. I even went as far as getting my pack of "promise" cigarettes (the ones I keep to remind me of what I gave up and why...) and smoked the entire pack that night. I thought about going back to hurting myself but since I stay at home a lot lately, it wouldn't be wise to do so since my arms and legs are always exposed. Then out of pity, my sister decided to shoulder my billing responsibilities for this month.
Also, going home Friday night (from EK) we found out that Joy, my cousin, was already giving birth to her daughter. I remembered how she told me I was going to be a godfather and I felt useless again. I guess I'll be writing my name on the card attached to my sister's gift again. How utterly pathetic...
I end up thinking a lot about death again. The fact that an old lady, our neighbor who owns the nearby convenience store, just died doesn't help. Did they have abortion way back 1984? Because I actually wish my mother just had one when she was pregnant with me. I mean, all the people who know me well enough are aware of how scared I am of dying but if she had me aborted, then I wouldn't have had time for fear right? I knew her OB-GYN offered her the option of ligation after my brother came out. I wish she had it done...after all, her doctor said it herself: "You already have what you always wanted. A girl and a boy." or something to that effect. My parents also take every opportunity when I was younger to remind me of this fact. Every time the age difference between my brother and I was discussed, my parents would immediately explain that I was an unplanned (wish they'd just suck it up and say "unwanted") baby. That's why I always felt the need to be better than others, to prove to my parents that their "mistake" was worth having. Every time I ranked high in academics they would always expect better and they were very vocal about this. I always wondered why neither my sister nor brother got this kind of pressure. Whatever I did was never good enough for them. This might explain my shenanigans at school. Stealing Jesse's toy car back in the 4th grade then successfully blaming it on a guy named Ancheta, that whole stint with Mr. Tauyan that ended with me getting slapped on the face a lot by a very thick book (thanks Mr. Tauyan! I'll never forget this) and the various elaborate lies I built around me and that duped everyone as well. At such an early age I discovered the power of lies and I became pretty good at it. I can even lie to my parents' faces. Well, it's not that surprising with my dad taking into account as to how little he knows about me but my mother...how I cherished lying to her! She was always a good judge of character and having her fooled for the longest time never ceases to give me a rush.
Growing up it became clear how little power I had in deciding my future. I wanted to transfer to Ateneo for high school but my parent will hear nothing of it seeing as how my brother was heavily gravitated towards La Salle. I've long accepted the fact that I'll be living my entire life smothered by my brother's shadow, never amounting to anything, even a fraction of what he is and I'll always hate him because of that. No, he doesn't know I hate him because I lie to my family on a daily basis. I smile when I should smile and act as is proper. My sister is the one who has come closest to actually figuring me out but she's way too busy opening up to me. I'm aware it's a one-sided relationship but I try my best to get financial sustenance out of it. The people I really hate the most would have to be my parents. Sure, I love my mom but I hate her all the same. She always pretended to care about me but neglected to think about the repercussions of her making a lot of decisions for me. Her need to take care of me has left me weak. My dad whom I respect (because it is expected...) doesn't mean anything to me. He's just a nuisance I have to bear for a few more years to come.
We have always heard that we had no choice when it comes to our families but I wish we were the given to opt-out. Y'know, it like God showing you the cards you'd be dealt with in life before you say "ok" I'm ready to enter this fucking world! And let's talk about God as well, assuming he does exist of course...Honestly, I hate him more than I hate everything else. He just creates us and places us in this world to make us suffer. Yes, he does let us experience joy every now and then but just so he can take it all away at some time, to see our reactions.
I just watched the movie "Latter Days" and there's this one line by Elder Davies (played to perfection by Steve Sandvoss) that goes: "Do you read the Sunday comics? I remember when I was little, I'd put the newspaper close to my face and just see dots. Maybe life is like that, all we see are dots that don't make any sense but to God, it could be happy and sometimes...funny." Yeah! God laughs his fat ass off every time we do something wrong. I have never been one to advocate chaos or any of that shit but there comes a time in our lives that we are given the decision to forge our own path or forever be treated like sheep. Well, I'M NO FUCKING SHEEP!!! Yes, I'll still live my life according to my parents' directives but the moment they're gone, I'm gonna do it just like Franky said...MY WAY!!! I'll get the fucking tattoo I always wanted I'll get more piercing done. I'll even work where I want to work. I'll cease to be their little failure, I'll be my own failure and defiantly ask you fucking God...
"Are you entertained?!" because I fucking hope he is...
A lot has happened these past few days. The last post I made was in my Blogger account...had something to do with paying bills and my complete inability to do so at that time. I'll just have that cross-posted when I publish this. I actually asked my sister to find buyers for my PSP UMDs (cds) collection and gave an offer of 1500 Php a pop...quite cheap actually considering they're all in very good condition and I was the first owner for all of them. The moment I sent her that text, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried, not just tears but the snot-inducing type of crying. I even went as far as getting my pack of "promise" cigarettes (the ones I keep to remind me of what I gave up and why...) and smoked the entire pack that night. I thought about going back to hurting myself but since I stay at home a lot lately, it wouldn't be wise to do so since my arms and legs are always exposed. Then out of pity, my sister decided to shoulder my billing responsibilities for this month.
Also, going home Friday night (from EK) we found out that Joy, my cousin, was already giving birth to her daughter. I remembered how she told me I was going to be a godfather and I felt useless again. I guess I'll be writing my name on the card attached to my sister's gift again. How utterly pathetic...
I end up thinking a lot about death again. The fact that an old lady, our neighbor who owns the nearby convenience store, just died doesn't help. Did they have abortion way back 1984? Because I actually wish my mother just had one when she was pregnant with me. I mean, all the people who know me well enough are aware of how scared I am of dying but if she had me aborted, then I wouldn't have had time for fear right? I knew her OB-GYN offered her the option of ligation after my brother came out. I wish she had it done...after all, her doctor said it herself: "You already have what you always wanted. A girl and a boy." or something to that effect. My parents also take every opportunity when I was younger to remind me of this fact. Every time the age difference between my brother and I was discussed, my parents would immediately explain that I was an unplanned (wish they'd just suck it up and say "unwanted") baby. That's why I always felt the need to be better than others, to prove to my parents that their "mistake" was worth having. Every time I ranked high in academics they would always expect better and they were very vocal about this. I always wondered why neither my sister nor brother got this kind of pressure. Whatever I did was never good enough for them. This might explain my shenanigans at school. Stealing Jesse's toy car back in the 4th grade then successfully blaming it on a guy named Ancheta, that whole stint with Mr. Tauyan that ended with me getting slapped on the face a lot by a very thick book (thanks Mr. Tauyan! I'll never forget this) and the various elaborate lies I built around me and that duped everyone as well. At such an early age I discovered the power of lies and I became pretty good at it. I can even lie to my parents' faces. Well, it's not that surprising with my dad taking into account as to how little he knows about me but my mother...how I cherished lying to her! She was always a good judge of character and having her fooled for the longest time never ceases to give me a rush.
Growing up it became clear how little power I had in deciding my future. I wanted to transfer to Ateneo for high school but my parent will hear nothing of it seeing as how my brother was heavily gravitated towards La Salle. I've long accepted the fact that I'll be living my entire life smothered by my brother's shadow, never amounting to anything, even a fraction of what he is and I'll always hate him because of that. No, he doesn't know I hate him because I lie to my family on a daily basis. I smile when I should smile and act as is proper. My sister is the one who has come closest to actually figuring me out but she's way too busy opening up to me. I'm aware it's a one-sided relationship but I try my best to get financial sustenance out of it. The people I really hate the most would have to be my parents. Sure, I love my mom but I hate her all the same. She always pretended to care about me but neglected to think about the repercussions of her making a lot of decisions for me. Her need to take care of me has left me weak. My dad whom I respect (because it is expected...) doesn't mean anything to me. He's just a nuisance I have to bear for a few more years to come.
We have always heard that we had no choice when it comes to our families but I wish we were the given to opt-out. Y'know, it like God showing you the cards you'd be dealt with in life before you say "ok" I'm ready to enter this fucking world! And let's talk about God as well, assuming he does exist of course...Honestly, I hate him more than I hate everything else. He just creates us and places us in this world to make us suffer. Yes, he does let us experience joy every now and then but just so he can take it all away at some time, to see our reactions.
I just watched the movie "Latter Days" and there's this one line by Elder Davies (played to perfection by Steve Sandvoss) that goes: "Do you read the Sunday comics? I remember when I was little, I'd put the newspaper close to my face and just see dots. Maybe life is like that, all we see are dots that don't make any sense but to God, it could be happy and sometimes...funny." Yeah! God laughs his fat ass off every time we do something wrong. I have never been one to advocate chaos or any of that shit but there comes a time in our lives that we are given the decision to forge our own path or forever be treated like sheep. Well, I'M NO FUCKING SHEEP!!! Yes, I'll still live my life according to my parents' directives but the moment they're gone, I'm gonna do it just like Franky said...MY WAY!!! I'll get the fucking tattoo I always wanted I'll get more piercing done. I'll even work where I want to work. I'll cease to be their little failure, I'll be my own failure and defiantly ask you fucking God...
"Are you entertained?!" because I fucking hope he is...
god bless the child who has his own...
...BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GOT ANY!!!
It's my favorite time of the month again! This is the time where bills start to approach their respective due dates and reactively, I get the most excruciating headaches as well.
My sister was nice enough to volunteer (I actually begged her...) to pay for my phone bill (not the plan but the installment shit) so I'm only left with DSL and Post-Paid plan problems. God bless PLDT because I haven't gotten the bill for our land line and DSL yet. I'm trying to deal with my post-paid problems and I find out that BPI has already charged my account the service fee because my savings is bellow the maintaining balance!!! Dammit...that was the last fucking proverbial straw. I might end up paying the minimum instead and hope for the best.
There goes my "attractive" retention offer from globe and with just two months to go at that!!! Fuck! I hate this...and I hate the fact that I can blame lots of people for what's happening in my life but knowing the fact that it wouldn't help blaming anyone either.
In related news...(cool segway) I'm actually seriously considering becoming an atheist. Does that make me a bad person? I mean, it's not because of the crap that's been happening lately but it's a question I have been dealing with for quite some time now...I dunno, I'll just ride it out and see what happens.
Oh...by the way, I had fun yesterday but I'm too tire to try and be happy today.
It's my favorite time of the month again! This is the time where bills start to approach their respective due dates and reactively, I get the most excruciating headaches as well.
My sister was nice enough to volunteer (I actually begged her...) to pay for my phone bill (not the plan but the installment shit) so I'm only left with DSL and Post-Paid plan problems. God bless PLDT because I haven't gotten the bill for our land line and DSL yet. I'm trying to deal with my post-paid problems and I find out that BPI has already charged my account the service fee because my savings is bellow the maintaining balance!!! Dammit...that was the last fucking proverbial straw. I might end up paying the minimum instead and hope for the best.
There goes my "attractive" retention offer from globe and with just two months to go at that!!! Fuck! I hate this...and I hate the fact that I can blame lots of people for what's happening in my life but knowing the fact that it wouldn't help blaming anyone either.
In related news...(cool segway) I'm actually seriously considering becoming an atheist. Does that make me a bad person? I mean, it's not because of the crap that's been happening lately but it's a question I have been dealing with for quite some time now...I dunno, I'll just ride it out and see what happens.
Oh...by the way, I had fun yesterday but I'm too tire to try and be happy today.
Friday, March 16, 2007
time-space warp!
Whoa! I just transferred a post from Blogger and it went nuts here in Multiply. There's a big difference in time! I published the "decompression..." post before "a new addiction". Hmmm...that's weird.
I know!!! I'M A HERO!!! Lemme see...if I concentrate hard enough, I can teleport myself to New York!
YATA!!!
So this is what New York looks like...OOOOH...a manga...FROM THE FUTURE!!! It's my destiny (unmei)!!!
Hahahahahahaha...I'm going nuts. I'm serious about the whole time differential thing though... but still, I miss my Heroes fix!!! I can't paint the future without it...hahahahaha...there I go again!!!
I know!!! I'M A HERO!!! Lemme see...if I concentrate hard enough, I can teleport myself to New York!
YATA!!!
So this is what New York looks like...OOOOH...a manga...FROM THE FUTURE!!! It's my destiny (unmei)!!!
Hahahahahahaha...I'm going nuts. I'm serious about the whole time differential thing though... but still, I miss my Heroes fix!!! I can't paint the future without it...hahahahaha...there I go again!!!
decompression...
Ok, let me just say...I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO GET MY CUPPA AT STARBUCKS TODAY (correction: yesterday)!!! I already had a feeling I wont be able to go to Starbucks's coffee break last Wednesday. Our van broke down and our stupid driver didn't have the common sense to bring the vehicle over for repairs. So, I even missed American Idol running around looking for a mechanic who would be willing to go with me to where we park our van. Knowing this doesn't make it less annoying though.
However, things started getting better when I got a hold of THE ULTIMATE HARD HOUSE ALBUM. Six friggin cds of Hard House goodness. They were even nice enough to classify the tracks. CD1 contains the Anthems, CD2 has the Floor Fillers,CD3 is Harder, while CD4 is Faster, CD5 list my favorite Hard Trance tracks and lastly CD6 is dedicated to the Classics. I literally went into a music induced coma. I spaced out and ignored everyone.
Next up, my cousin RJ (aka Xefyr) popped up early this month with free tickets to Enchanted Kingdom so we planned to go there immediately. My older sister was obviously the first to be invited because she's the only one with a license. Since she's going, I'm also in, because she wont agree to go on long road trips without me. So that was settled and we only agreed on a day this week and we're going Friday (wait...that's technically today) and we even prepared provisions and stuff.
So earlier (more like yesterday) we went on a short trip to the Mall of Asia to grab some stuff. I decided to make chicken salad sandwiches so we wont get hungry. It was all set and even my aunt (RJ's mom) told us to bring their van (is a Revo considered a van?) instead of cramming five people inside our car. Oh, I forgot to mention, Macky (RJ's younger brother) and Wit (his beau) are coming as well. I'm not overly excited about going but I'll take a trip to Laguna over staying at home any day. I just hope it doesn't get blazing hot later.
Also, I promise to upload the new cds I got as soon as I'm free again. Which nowadays occurs often.
However, things started getting better when I got a hold of THE ULTIMATE HARD HOUSE ALBUM. Six friggin cds of Hard House goodness. They were even nice enough to classify the tracks. CD1 contains the Anthems, CD2 has the Floor Fillers,CD3 is Harder, while CD4 is Faster, CD5 list my favorite Hard Trance tracks and lastly CD6 is dedicated to the Classics. I literally went into a music induced coma. I spaced out and ignored everyone.
Next up, my cousin RJ (aka Xefyr) popped up early this month with free tickets to Enchanted Kingdom so we planned to go there immediately. My older sister was obviously the first to be invited because she's the only one with a license. Since she's going, I'm also in, because she wont agree to go on long road trips without me. So that was settled and we only agreed on a day this week and we're going Friday (wait...that's technically today) and we even prepared provisions and stuff.
So earlier (more like yesterday) we went on a short trip to the Mall of Asia to grab some stuff. I decided to make chicken salad sandwiches so we wont get hungry. It was all set and even my aunt (RJ's mom) told us to bring their van (is a Revo considered a van?) instead of cramming five people inside our car. Oh, I forgot to mention, Macky (RJ's younger brother) and Wit (his beau) are coming as well. I'm not overly excited about going but I'll take a trip to Laguna over staying at home any day. I just hope it doesn't get blazing hot later.
Also, I promise to upload the new cds I got as soon as I'm free again. Which nowadays occurs often.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
regrets...
My sister and I had a significantly serious discussion last night. And yeah, we talked before my last two posts. Sorry I didn't type it right away. I had to digest it first. Now, I have the opportunity to regurgitate what I've digested (eeeeeew) and share it with you.
We were basically talking about past mistakes and the regrets that inevitably accompany them. I was feeling bad about the decisions I made during my college days. I'm still regretting my decision (or lack thereof) to take up engineering. I'm still itching to study or at least do something connected with advertising. I really wanted to take up Advertising or a double management (or at least an Arts/Commerce) degree. I honestly think I'm better suited for that. My sister also thought back to her decision to study Dentistry. It would've done her good to take up a communications or language course 'cause that's what she's naturally good at. I'm not dissing my sister's talents as a dentist. Don't get me wrong, she's awfully good at that too but looking at the respective career paths we took, one can't help but question our intent when we decided on our degrees...
The tenets of Bushido say that when an action is done with honor, there is no resounding feeling of regret. That's why it is a sin for samurai to feel regret. Is it really possible not to regret anything? Can people do it right in one go?
We were basically talking about past mistakes and the regrets that inevitably accompany them. I was feeling bad about the decisions I made during my college days. I'm still regretting my decision (or lack thereof) to take up engineering. I'm still itching to study or at least do something connected with advertising. I really wanted to take up Advertising or a double management (or at least an Arts/Commerce) degree. I honestly think I'm better suited for that. My sister also thought back to her decision to study Dentistry. It would've done her good to take up a communications or language course 'cause that's what she's naturally good at. I'm not dissing my sister's talents as a dentist. Don't get me wrong, she's awfully good at that too but looking at the respective career paths we took, one can't help but question our intent when we decided on our degrees...
The tenets of Bushido say that when an action is done with honor, there is no resounding feeling of regret. That's why it is a sin for samurai to feel regret. Is it really possible not to regret anything? Can people do it right in one go?
convergence...
Don't you just love how some things in our lives are inter-connected? And isn't it better when things are compatible enough, giving you a fluid feel? Well, it seems that even the tech world is getting smaller and smaller!
It is painfully obvious (if you've seen my past tech related posts) that I am a HUGE fan of Google! I'm into Google search, GMail, Google Reader, Google Earth, Blogger, and even Picasa2! I'm also a fan of how the smart people at Google labs are making it possible to link up most of these different technologies. Now, I can even share my RSS and Atom feeds with you guys ergo the new nifty "widget-y" link on the right side of my page. Also, some of you might have noticed how some of my newer posts contain links to Picasa2...which inadvertently happens when I post a picture directly from the Picasa2 application-NIFTY TRICK!!! Also, for those with GMail accounts (if you don't have one but WANT one-leave a comment with your email addie and I'll send you an invite) have you noticed that our mailboxes have been beefed up to 2.8 friggin Gigs worth of space?! Take that Yahoo! Mail! This of course comes with free pop access!! I'm beginning to sound like a used-cars salesman but I don't care! Even my Firefox browser works better with Google-y stuff. Totally cool!
Now, don't get me wrong. I actually like the Yahoo! stuff as well. With Flickr and other stuff but I just honestly think Google packs more "umph" in every thing it dishes out. While Windows is starting to look so stuck up with the release of Vista and the accompanying Vista-Exclusive crap they offer. This actually makes my decision to switch to Mac sound all the more reasonable.
Point is, make technology work for you. You have a wide variety to choose from, don't drown in it. Start your own convergence story just like mine.
It is painfully obvious (if you've seen my past tech related posts) that I am a HUGE fan of Google! I'm into Google search, GMail, Google Reader, Google Earth, Blogger, and even Picasa2! I'm also a fan of how the smart people at Google labs are making it possible to link up most of these different technologies. Now, I can even share my RSS and Atom feeds with you guys ergo the new nifty "widget-y" link on the right side of my page. Also, some of you might have noticed how some of my newer posts contain links to Picasa2...which inadvertently happens when I post a picture directly from the Picasa2 application-NIFTY TRICK!!! Also, for those with GMail accounts (if you don't have one but WANT one-leave a comment with your email addie and I'll send you an invite) have you noticed that our mailboxes have been beefed up to 2.8 friggin Gigs worth of space?! Take that Yahoo! Mail! This of course comes with free pop access!! I'm beginning to sound like a used-cars salesman but I don't care! Even my Firefox browser works better with Google-y stuff. Totally cool!Now, don't get me wrong. I actually like the Yahoo! stuff as well. With Flickr and other stuff but I just honestly think Google packs more "umph" in every thing it dishes out. While Windows is starting to look so stuck up with the release of Vista and the accompanying Vista-Exclusive crap they offer. This actually makes my decision to switch to Mac sound all the more reasonable.
Point is, make technology work for you. You have a wide variety to choose from, don't drown in it. Start your own convergence story just like mine.
walking through fire and ice...
For the past few weeks...months even, I have done my part in helping the household shave off a few Pesos off of our electricity bill. What I do is, when my sister has work, I stay in the our room for the alloted eight hour period during which our air-conditioning unit is turned on. After the eight hours are up, I then transfer to my parents room where I flop down to sleep. I usually stay up late and do most of my computing at night and just leave my laptop open to download stuff when I switch rooms. This is also the main reason I agreed to the whole eight hour thing because I keep my laptop on for days on end. (Feeling a little guilty...)
Suffice to say, I end up having to be in the same room as my dad for prolonged periods of time. Mind you, everytime we are left at home together, he usually goes to the billiards hall, if he doesn't, I lock myself up in my room. That pretty much sums-up the kind of relationship we have. Surprising to say, we have exchanged more words during the past weeks than we had for an entire lifetime. My dad loves to stay up late as well and we end up watching late night news and expose/special features (both local) as well. Our political stands don't mesh well to say the least and I find that I actually enjoy the late night discussions cum debates in connection with the news we watch. It's also surprising that I'm watching local television again. My TV viewing range is just between channels 22 (Discovery-the original one) and 51 (Hollywood channel), only venturing to lower channels to watch news but channel 16 (CNN) is as low as I would go.
Now, I find myself bombarded by questions. It's been so easy living my life spurning my father for being his usual self but it seems that my impression of dad is being challenged at a very basic level. I find myself confused and I end up doubting my decisions. I am aware that my father and I are completely different persons and I have even gone as far as saying "I am NOT my father's son." - in the figurative sense of course!
We can't choose our parents and we just end up with who we have. Living in this hoopla of filial statistics and probabilities, we just come up with ways to make our living arrangements more..."liveable". I for one have no final say on the matter (I used to have one but I'm rethinking my position.) and will continue to duke it out with the questions plaguing my saturated head.
Suffice to say, I end up having to be in the same room as my dad for prolonged periods of time. Mind you, everytime we are left at home together, he usually goes to the billiards hall, if he doesn't, I lock myself up in my room. That pretty much sums-up the kind of relationship we have. Surprising to say, we have exchanged more words during the past weeks than we had for an entire lifetime. My dad loves to stay up late as well and we end up watching late night news and expose/special features (both local) as well. Our political stands don't mesh well to say the least and I find that I actually enjoy the late night discussions cum debates in connection with the news we watch. It's also surprising that I'm watching local television again. My TV viewing range is just between channels 22 (Discovery-the original one) and 51 (Hollywood channel), only venturing to lower channels to watch news but channel 16 (CNN) is as low as I would go.
Now, I find myself bombarded by questions. It's been so easy living my life spurning my father for being his usual self but it seems that my impression of dad is being challenged at a very basic level. I find myself confused and I end up doubting my decisions. I am aware that my father and I are completely different persons and I have even gone as far as saying "I am NOT my father's son." - in the figurative sense of course!
We can't choose our parents and we just end up with who we have. Living in this hoopla of filial statistics and probabilities, we just come up with ways to make our living arrangements more..."liveable". I for one have no final say on the matter (I used to have one but I'm rethinking my position.) and will continue to duke it out with the questions plaguing my saturated head.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
gentlemen, start your engines...
The Australian Grand Prix is just around the corner and I'm off looking for a good red shirt to wear on that day. I may not be a crazy Tifosi but my blood runs red enough. And now that my all time favorite driver Kimi is with the big red, I'm even more excited. Sure, just like any fan I feel bad about Schumi's departure but the future looks bright. I still, however, disagree with the forecast that Massa will be the man to carry the team this season. All in all, I just want Scuderia-Ferrari to win again and for that mighty prick Alonso to get sidelined.
going bananas...
I'm still reeling from the last episode then it suddenly hits me...NO NEW HEROES EPISODES UNTIL APRIL 23RD!!! I don't know if I can last that long. We're talking about seven whole weeks here! And the last episode doesn't help AT ALL!!! Just when it gets good, it leaves you hanging by a thread. I honestly think it's a brilliant way of keeping audiences' interests piqued but it's also comparable to full out pyschological torture. After finding out the identity of the Hatian's french speaking boss, Hiro getting his sword, Nathan meeting Linderman, HRG getting busted, and Peter facing off with Psylar...
C'MON!!! I'M GOING NUTS HERE!!! Not even next episode's teaser trailer helped...
just when I thought it could never happen...
First, let me apologize well in advance for any typos in this post. I'm currently having a hard time with my tummy. I'm hyper-acidic as hell right now.
The past few weeks, I've been a good boy and I have tried my best to help lower the electricity bill. Due, in large part, to the fact that I feel so guilty for leaving my laptop on for days on end downloading stuff off of the net. So I'd work with my sister in counting the time our air conditioning unit is turned on in our room. After eight consecutive hours, I'd turn it off and go to my parent's room to sleep there. This way, we have it turned on for less time and I also get to stay in an air-conditioned room for a longer period.
So, noble reasons aside, I've been sleeping in my parent's room for weeks now and I usually go there around midnight or a little later. I usually set up my downloads first before leaving my room. So I end up staying late with my dad and we watch late night news and feature specials on local channels. At first I hated this nightly ritual since I abhor watching anything local for the fear of making myself go dumb but for the past few days, I find myself interested in the news. This is probably due to the fact that everything I see is about the election. More surprisingly so, my dad and I actually end up having interesting conversations, although I still argue with him a lot, for the meanwhile, we argue about something significant.
Since it's my sister's off today, I'm here in my room. I can't help but think that maybe there are such things as second chances. The real question becomes: am I willing to gamble on that second chance when I have lived so long not having a proper relationship with my father?
The past few weeks, I've been a good boy and I have tried my best to help lower the electricity bill. Due, in large part, to the fact that I feel so guilty for leaving my laptop on for days on end downloading stuff off of the net. So I'd work with my sister in counting the time our air conditioning unit is turned on in our room. After eight consecutive hours, I'd turn it off and go to my parent's room to sleep there. This way, we have it turned on for less time and I also get to stay in an air-conditioned room for a longer period.
So, noble reasons aside, I've been sleeping in my parent's room for weeks now and I usually go there around midnight or a little later. I usually set up my downloads first before leaving my room. So I end up staying late with my dad and we watch late night news and feature specials on local channels. At first I hated this nightly ritual since I abhor watching anything local for the fear of making myself go dumb but for the past few days, I find myself interested in the news. This is probably due to the fact that everything I see is about the election. More surprisingly so, my dad and I actually end up having interesting conversations, although I still argue with him a lot, for the meanwhile, we argue about something significant.
Since it's my sister's off today, I'm here in my room. I can't help but think that maybe there are such things as second chances. The real question becomes: am I willing to gamble on that second chance when I have lived so long not having a proper relationship with my father?
Sunday, March 04, 2007
a loser but a winner all the same...
What is the difference between a jobless De La Salle University graduate and someone from let's say...a less known institution?
The answer: NOTHING...
Both would be unproductive members of society and would be dead weight to both their families. The distinction comes from their backgrounds, not from their employment status. We could say that a La Sallian bum still has the opportunity to go out and play, whereas the other graduate would be probably be drowning in financial woes. This makes the La Sallian graduate a "PRIVILEGED LOSER" while the other person remains a plain loser.
This has been the thought dominating my whole thinking process the past few days. I have tried to assuage my fears and parlay into activities that are more fruitful but every now and then, during an exceptionally dull part of my day, my mind can't help but wander...
I do my best to quell my worries and at times, I have found that it helps being around family. Doing stuff that you would not be able to do otherwise while employed is the focus of my daily routine. I washed my clothes at 2 AM this morning, just enjoying tea while I lounged in our sitting area downstairs while the washing machine did its thing. I helped my dad fix dinner earlier and even set the table with mom. The highlight would have to be making chicken macaroni salad with mom and dad. The times I actually enjoy my dad's company don't come that often and our little family activity earlier felt really refreshing.
In the end it, everything does become a matter of perception. Why do we tend to focus on the negative? Are we really capable of accepting everything in context and view our lives in abject objectivity like we should?
Right now, are you a winner or a loser?
The answer: NOTHING...
Both would be unproductive members of society and would be dead weight to both their families. The distinction comes from their backgrounds, not from their employment status. We could say that a La Sallian bum still has the opportunity to go out and play, whereas the other graduate would be probably be drowning in financial woes. This makes the La Sallian graduate a "PRIVILEGED LOSER" while the other person remains a plain loser.
This has been the thought dominating my whole thinking process the past few days. I have tried to assuage my fears and parlay into activities that are more fruitful but every now and then, during an exceptionally dull part of my day, my mind can't help but wander...
I do my best to quell my worries and at times, I have found that it helps being around family. Doing stuff that you would not be able to do otherwise while employed is the focus of my daily routine. I washed my clothes at 2 AM this morning, just enjoying tea while I lounged in our sitting area downstairs while the washing machine did its thing. I helped my dad fix dinner earlier and even set the table with mom. The highlight would have to be making chicken macaroni salad with mom and dad. The times I actually enjoy my dad's company don't come that often and our little family activity earlier felt really refreshing.
In the end it, everything does become a matter of perception. Why do we tend to focus on the negative? Are we really capable of accepting everything in context and view our lives in abject objectivity like we should?
Right now, are you a winner or a loser?
Thursday, March 01, 2007
relativity...
It is a fact that we can never be objective when it comes to personal matters. Unless of course, you had your heart surgically removed and you're now completely devoid of any emotion in which case you should realize that you are probably a few steps away from becoming a socially shunned individual.
Everytime a friend of mine feels down, I constantly remind them about how better off they are compared to other people. After all, the shock of reality should put an end to their incessant whining quickly. Now I ask myself, whenever I'm pissed, sad or both, do I take a short breather and do the same? Do I realize that children in Somalia don't eat three meals a day or that most of the people in Iraq have electricity for just three hours in a day? Of course not! Just as was earlier stated, we can never be objective when we put our ourselves on the line. A paper-cut is just a paper-cut until you hurt yourself while reading a good book. An occasion wherein we find ourselves irritable at best.
So the question now becomes: what do we still give out advice that we ourselves don't believe to be effective? Why do we expect other people to suck it up when we can't even endure a second of their pain? AND why do we still continue to make other people miserable knowing perfectly well that if we were in their position, it would really suck?
Answer: "BECAUSE WE CAN..." don't expect to unravel the intricacies of the human pysche in one sitting. The fact is, most people die never knowing...
Everytime a friend of mine feels down, I constantly remind them about how better off they are compared to other people. After all, the shock of reality should put an end to their incessant whining quickly. Now I ask myself, whenever I'm pissed, sad or both, do I take a short breather and do the same? Do I realize that children in Somalia don't eat three meals a day or that most of the people in Iraq have electricity for just three hours in a day? Of course not! Just as was earlier stated, we can never be objective when we put our ourselves on the line. A paper-cut is just a paper-cut until you hurt yourself while reading a good book. An occasion wherein we find ourselves irritable at best.
So the question now becomes: what do we still give out advice that we ourselves don't believe to be effective? Why do we expect other people to suck it up when we can't even endure a second of their pain? AND why do we still continue to make other people miserable knowing perfectly well that if we were in their position, it would really suck?
Answer: "BECAUSE WE CAN..." don't expect to unravel the intricacies of the human pysche in one sitting. The fact is, most people die never knowing...
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
disarmed by a few chosen words...
I just paused for a little while chatting with a good friend of mine, Herbert, via YM right now. It's feels good catching up with someone I haven't spoken with for the longest time. It happens now, when he's in India for business, last time we chatted was when he was waiting for his connecting flight back in Singapore, but face to face??? We're talking about years here... Fueled by my background music, (think Feeder, Death Cab for Cutie, The Fray, Snow Patrol, Mae, Copeland, Daphne Loves Derby, and Keane) the conversation obviously took a quick turn to sentimental talk.
Herbert was one of my first friends in college. We saw each other a lot of times before being formally introduced during LPEP and Orientation. He's also one of the very few (with Melle and Joetech) I was classmates with during my frosh years whom I still call friend until now. After the usual hi's and hello's, this became the focus of our conversation. This all happened while he was checking his email in the hotel and I'm downloading Heroes episodes.
My relationship with my Froshie friends was unstable at best. Our friendship was built upon gimmicks, movies and late night parties...none of which my parents approved of. I ask myself, was I destined to lose much of my friends? Was it my fault that I couldn't hold on to them? Was I being weak in letting one friend ruin my friendship with others? Whatever the answers might be to these questions, I still cherish the friends I DID manage to keep. I managed to survive with them through a lot.
Herbert just told me to look at the friends I have. He referred to them as a "Diamond Mine" and he told me I was in his "Golden List" of friends. It's amazing how much he hasn't changed! It might have been years since we saw each other, but he could still read me like an open book. Knowing how I felt and responding as he deemed fit. I'm really thankful for the friends I have. My froshie buddies combined with my MEM friends. Now who could beat that?! I'm glad I have Mich and Sheena to talk with in the morning and Herbert and Joetech at night.
Who are we to measure ourselves? What should we measure ourselves against? In the end, it seems like our friends know us better than we know ourselves...
Herbert was one of my first friends in college. We saw each other a lot of times before being formally introduced during LPEP and Orientation. He's also one of the very few (with Melle and Joetech) I was classmates with during my frosh years whom I still call friend until now. After the usual hi's and hello's, this became the focus of our conversation. This all happened while he was checking his email in the hotel and I'm downloading Heroes episodes.
My relationship with my Froshie friends was unstable at best. Our friendship was built upon gimmicks, movies and late night parties...none of which my parents approved of. I ask myself, was I destined to lose much of my friends? Was it my fault that I couldn't hold on to them? Was I being weak in letting one friend ruin my friendship with others? Whatever the answers might be to these questions, I still cherish the friends I DID manage to keep. I managed to survive with them through a lot.
Herbert just told me to look at the friends I have. He referred to them as a "Diamond Mine" and he told me I was in his "Golden List" of friends. It's amazing how much he hasn't changed! It might have been years since we saw each other, but he could still read me like an open book. Knowing how I felt and responding as he deemed fit. I'm really thankful for the friends I have. My froshie buddies combined with my MEM friends. Now who could beat that?! I'm glad I have Mich and Sheena to talk with in the morning and Herbert and Joetech at night.
Who are we to measure ourselves? What should we measure ourselves against? In the end, it seems like our friends know us better than we know ourselves...
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
tech bits and pleasant distractions...
I'm still waiting for Yahoo! Mail Beta to go out of beta...why you ask? I actually don't know myself...hahahaha. Nah! I'm just hoping they offer seamless import/export from other RSS update services because there is no way in hell I'll retype all the RSS addresses one by one!!! I'm currently using Google Reader to stay on top of things but I kinda figured, why not put it all in one page right? I'm so used to switching between tabs that I hadn't figured this one out 'til now. Oh well enough crying over spilled milk, I'll just wait 'til they offer RSS importing in Y!Mail beta.
Now, second strike from Yahoo. I haven't received any updates about Yahoo! Go yet!!! They've moved on to a Gamma version when I signed up for it since Beta!!! Darn...it's ok I guess. I'm in the early stages of my transition to Mac anyway. In a couple of months, it wouldn't matter anymore. I'll just hold on to YM and all my Google accounts, at least those that will not be replaced by .Mac services.
Finally, presenting my new craving, the long awaited distraction...
I'm hopelessly addicted!!!
Now, second strike from Yahoo. I haven't received any updates about Yahoo! Go yet!!! They've moved on to a Gamma version when I signed up for it since Beta!!! Darn...it's ok I guess. I'm in the early stages of my transition to Mac anyway. In a couple of months, it wouldn't matter anymore. I'll just hold on to YM and all my Google accounts, at least those that will not be replaced by .Mac services.
Finally, presenting my new craving, the long awaited distraction...
I'm hopelessly addicted!!!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
on the verge...
It seems like I have finally managed to ruffle my mom's feathers. You know what she suggested we do tomorrow? She asked me if...no, scratch that, she TOLD me that we were going to hear mass tomorrow morning. Let me tell you, my mom will never ever ask you to go to church unless she feels you need it...BAD.
It is now officially one week and five days since my first sortie with the nice people in Amkor. After that very eventful day, I was advised that they will contact me for further information within a period of two weeks. As it stands, I have received neither phone call, SMS, email, nor good'ol snail mail from them. This is apparently being viewed by my mother as a possibly life threatening issue. (Hahahaha...)
The financial status of this household is near stable at best. With dad quitting his job and my brother still recovering from his rockstar wedding, this family's main source of income is my sister's work which, suffice, to say is not nearly enough. The only other source would be money coming in from my mom's work (which is not as consistent as we would like) since the school bus is just earning enough to pay for petrol and repairs thanks in large part to the gutless, useless and INSOLENT (he actually has the guts to order my mom, the woman he gets his salary from, around!?) driver. To say that this family needs any potential income I can bring in is a gross understatement.
The electric bill is quite acceptable since there have been no huge fluctuations there. Food is ok...I mean, I have yet (thankfully!) to experience hunger. I am planning on having my postpaid line cut but I will have to wait until I finish my two year contract, since I am not confident with my ability to pay this particular service on time. There is also the matter of the nine remaining payments on my (once) brand new mobile phone. After I have taken care of these problems, it goes without saying that I will start to cut back on other things.
I have also re-evaluated my professional plans. Once March hits and there is STILL no assurance from Amkor about the job, I will again (I hate to say this) reapply for a call center job. I think three weeks is a good enough amount of time to wait for any sign coming from the high heavens. I will also stop requesting for management positions when applying for call center jobs and I'll start accepting agent positions. The best I can hope for is a Technical Service Representative position, which pays nominally higher salaries.
If I don't get the job from Amkor within my desired time frame, I will start purging all connections to my college degree. I think this is a reasonable decision taking into account what my degree has done for me so far. The only good thing about my degree is the University from which it came from, making it easier for me to leapfrog above most idiots from crappy schools who apply for a position I like. I'm currently viewing job openings at Teletech because they have an office nearby at the SM office buildings across the Mall of Asia and Dell (again...) as well.
I honestly think it's high time to swallow any bit of pride left in me and just accept the fact that I need to start earning money for this family. Yes, I have finally accepted that we had no say in picking which parents bore us. I have similarly stopped blaming God for everything that has gone wrong in my life, deciding instead to redirect my energies to questioning his existence...think of it as a sort of Theo-Philosophical retaliation from my part.
I still promise to behave in a rational and civilized manner when dealing with everyone but I will also start severing ties with most people. People who mostly remind me of what a failure I have become. In so doing this, I believe it lessens the pain of living each day.
Coming into the stone and cement structure of our parish church tomorrow, I shall stand, sit , and kneel at the proper intervals but I REFUSE TO BEG WHOMEVER IS REPRESENTED BY THE WOOD AND CERAMIC IDOLS INSIDE THE CHURCH FOR A CHANCE AT EMPLOYMENT. I honestly believe with every fiber of my being that I have given enough to this forsaken world to be given at least an inch in return. I may be an asshole but I am not a selfish asshole. I have done my part in giving what I can to humanity, now it's humanity's turn to give me something back!
This entire post might sound just a little bit weird or even pyscho to most people and maybe they are right in assuming such. I for one will not vouch for my own well being...hahahaha.
I now remember the words of my third year high school chemistry laboratory teacher. When I told her: "That is not fair!!!" the reasons surrounding my retort have been lost in time, but I will never forget her reply...
"Darling, whoever said life was fair?" she speaks the truth...
It is now officially one week and five days since my first sortie with the nice people in Amkor. After that very eventful day, I was advised that they will contact me for further information within a period of two weeks. As it stands, I have received neither phone call, SMS, email, nor good'ol snail mail from them. This is apparently being viewed by my mother as a possibly life threatening issue. (Hahahaha...)
The financial status of this household is near stable at best. With dad quitting his job and my brother still recovering from his rockstar wedding, this family's main source of income is my sister's work which, suffice, to say is not nearly enough. The only other source would be money coming in from my mom's work (which is not as consistent as we would like) since the school bus is just earning enough to pay for petrol and repairs thanks in large part to the gutless, useless and INSOLENT (he actually has the guts to order my mom, the woman he gets his salary from, around!?) driver. To say that this family needs any potential income I can bring in is a gross understatement.
The electric bill is quite acceptable since there have been no huge fluctuations there. Food is ok...I mean, I have yet (thankfully!) to experience hunger. I am planning on having my postpaid line cut but I will have to wait until I finish my two year contract, since I am not confident with my ability to pay this particular service on time. There is also the matter of the nine remaining payments on my (once) brand new mobile phone. After I have taken care of these problems, it goes without saying that I will start to cut back on other things.
I have also re-evaluated my professional plans. Once March hits and there is STILL no assurance from Amkor about the job, I will again (I hate to say this) reapply for a call center job. I think three weeks is a good enough amount of time to wait for any sign coming from the high heavens. I will also stop requesting for management positions when applying for call center jobs and I'll start accepting agent positions. The best I can hope for is a Technical Service Representative position, which pays nominally higher salaries.
If I don't get the job from Amkor within my desired time frame, I will start purging all connections to my college degree. I think this is a reasonable decision taking into account what my degree has done for me so far. The only good thing about my degree is the University from which it came from, making it easier for me to leapfrog above most idiots from crappy schools who apply for a position I like. I'm currently viewing job openings at Teletech because they have an office nearby at the SM office buildings across the Mall of Asia and Dell (again...) as well.
I honestly think it's high time to swallow any bit of pride left in me and just accept the fact that I need to start earning money for this family. Yes, I have finally accepted that we had no say in picking which parents bore us. I have similarly stopped blaming God for everything that has gone wrong in my life, deciding instead to redirect my energies to questioning his existence...think of it as a sort of Theo-Philosophical retaliation from my part.
I still promise to behave in a rational and civilized manner when dealing with everyone but I will also start severing ties with most people. People who mostly remind me of what a failure I have become. In so doing this, I believe it lessens the pain of living each day.
Coming into the stone and cement structure of our parish church tomorrow, I shall stand, sit , and kneel at the proper intervals but I REFUSE TO BEG WHOMEVER IS REPRESENTED BY THE WOOD AND CERAMIC IDOLS INSIDE THE CHURCH FOR A CHANCE AT EMPLOYMENT. I honestly believe with every fiber of my being that I have given enough to this forsaken world to be given at least an inch in return. I may be an asshole but I am not a selfish asshole. I have done my part in giving what I can to humanity, now it's humanity's turn to give me something back!
This entire post might sound just a little bit weird or even pyscho to most people and maybe they are right in assuming such. I for one will not vouch for my own well being...hahahaha.
I now remember the words of my third year high school chemistry laboratory teacher. When I told her: "That is not fair!!!" the reasons surrounding my retort have been lost in time, but I will never forget her reply...
"Darling, whoever said life was fair?" she speaks the truth...
cleansing...
I didn't post anything new for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!! Wow...I don't know why, I just ran out of things to say. Sure, I could've written stuff here, but what's the point in doing that if I were to do it just to make sure I have a post for each day that passes by? Maybe I was drained. I was inclined to discover than nothing happening in my life right now is even remotely interesting to other people.
My ideas come from my interaction with other people. I only capture different movements in my life. So...what happens when things start to stagnate? That is where I am right now. My life is sooo dull, I've resorted to writing about how dull it is. It's like a catharsis of this stagnation that's threatening to strip me of everything that makes me interesting, unique. I'm giving life to my troubles, my boredom. Blindly hoping that by doing so, it makes it possible to fight my problems. Giving them form and an admittedly stupid sense of tangibility should empower me to deal with them right?
I am running out of ideas (repeating it doesn't make it less significant, so it seems...) and I am falling prey to my mistakes. YES, it was a mistake resigning last December. YES, it was a mistake to rely on my brother's success in Singapore too much. YES, it was and still is a mistake to rationalize all my problems and blaming them all on dad. YES, it was a mistake to put aside my opinions and dumbly follow my mom and brother when I applied for my course. YES, it was a mistake to place my future in my brothers hands and an EVEN BIGGER MISTAKE following in his foot steps. Finally, YES, it was a mistake thinking that I could be successful even though I gave up most of my wants and gave way to my mom, dad, and brother's every whim.
Presenting my stupidity in a list like this does help. People might say it is foolish of me to dwell on past errors, but I would say that it is a lot more foolish of me to admit that (as it is made apparent by my list) I haven't been able to learn from any of my past mistakes. I believe I have sacrificed too much of myself. I have lost the real "ME" in the process of being a good son and brother.
I have done so well in hiding the truth, MY TRUTH, that even I am not sure what I WANTED FROM THE START. It's too far in the past. All I can do is shed tears while I am typing this down. A memoir of my mistakes in life. Easier remembered than my achievements.
REALITY HAS BECOME, AT LEAST FOR ME, A MATTER OF EARNING MONEY AND MAKING SURE THAT ALTHOUGH I WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY BE MISERABLE MY ENTIRE LIFE, AT LEAST I WOULD BE "COMFORTABLY" MISERABLE. Any success that I will garner from here on out will mean nothing to me. I exist to make my parents happy, to make my brother proud, and to make sure my sister always has a smile on her face. I have always lived my life for others, and it is to late to start living it for myself.
Sure, I'm just twenty-two, but what choice do I have? After doing one thing for so long, is there any chance of successfully doing anything else? After giving so much, is there enough of me left? I honestly doubt this...
My ideas come from my interaction with other people. I only capture different movements in my life. So...what happens when things start to stagnate? That is where I am right now. My life is sooo dull, I've resorted to writing about how dull it is. It's like a catharsis of this stagnation that's threatening to strip me of everything that makes me interesting, unique. I'm giving life to my troubles, my boredom. Blindly hoping that by doing so, it makes it possible to fight my problems. Giving them form and an admittedly stupid sense of tangibility should empower me to deal with them right?
I am running out of ideas (repeating it doesn't make it less significant, so it seems...) and I am falling prey to my mistakes. YES, it was a mistake resigning last December. YES, it was a mistake to rely on my brother's success in Singapore too much. YES, it was and still is a mistake to rationalize all my problems and blaming them all on dad. YES, it was a mistake to put aside my opinions and dumbly follow my mom and brother when I applied for my course. YES, it was a mistake to place my future in my brothers hands and an EVEN BIGGER MISTAKE following in his foot steps. Finally, YES, it was a mistake thinking that I could be successful even though I gave up most of my wants and gave way to my mom, dad, and brother's every whim.
Presenting my stupidity in a list like this does help. People might say it is foolish of me to dwell on past errors, but I would say that it is a lot more foolish of me to admit that (as it is made apparent by my list) I haven't been able to learn from any of my past mistakes. I believe I have sacrificed too much of myself. I have lost the real "ME" in the process of being a good son and brother.
I have done so well in hiding the truth, MY TRUTH, that even I am not sure what I WANTED FROM THE START. It's too far in the past. All I can do is shed tears while I am typing this down. A memoir of my mistakes in life. Easier remembered than my achievements.
REALITY HAS BECOME, AT LEAST FOR ME, A MATTER OF EARNING MONEY AND MAKING SURE THAT ALTHOUGH I WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY BE MISERABLE MY ENTIRE LIFE, AT LEAST I WOULD BE "COMFORTABLY" MISERABLE. Any success that I will garner from here on out will mean nothing to me. I exist to make my parents happy, to make my brother proud, and to make sure my sister always has a smile on her face. I have always lived my life for others, and it is to late to start living it for myself.
Sure, I'm just twenty-two, but what choice do I have? After doing one thing for so long, is there any chance of successfully doing anything else? After giving so much, is there enough of me left? I honestly doubt this...
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
zapped...
I'm totally drained. I need a change in scenery. I have been stuck at home for over two months now! This is driving me insane. This feels worse than when I quit smoking. I'm running out of things to do. If you want a better picture of my oh so nasty situation, I'll give you a peek:
See those? They are all anime DVDs that a good friend of mine, Ardex, burned for me. There are multiple episodes per disc, around 20-23 I think, and I am almost done watching them all! My eyes have also deteriorated because I only rest them when I'm eating or sleeping! Other than that, my eyes are glued to the boobtube or they're busy running over my laptop's screen!
To say that I'm living an inactive lifestyle is a massive understatement. I haven't even been out in the sun except when running a few errands. I have renewed respect for all the criminals in jail. I now know that their lives truly suck!
The internet has evolved from my being my playground to being my entire world. My only escape from boredom, even now, it's beginning to fail me in that sense. I wouldn't have conceived myself saying this just a few months back, but the internet is quickly becoming boring! I've gone through all the sites that usually hold my interest for a while and then some! The heat emanating from the bottom of my laptop is burning a hole through the floor!
All I need is a pleasant distraction...
See those? They are all anime DVDs that a good friend of mine, Ardex, burned for me. There are multiple episodes per disc, around 20-23 I think, and I am almost done watching them all! My eyes have also deteriorated because I only rest them when I'm eating or sleeping! Other than that, my eyes are glued to the boobtube or they're busy running over my laptop's screen!
To say that I'm living an inactive lifestyle is a massive understatement. I haven't even been out in the sun except when running a few errands. I have renewed respect for all the criminals in jail. I now know that their lives truly suck!
The internet has evolved from my being my playground to being my entire world. My only escape from boredom, even now, it's beginning to fail me in that sense. I wouldn't have conceived myself saying this just a few months back, but the internet is quickly becoming boring! I've gone through all the sites that usually hold my interest for a while and then some! The heat emanating from the bottom of my laptop is burning a hole through the floor!
All I need is a pleasant distraction...
a pact set in stone...
One last, promise!
Keeks and I have been talking about our plans to leave the country and build our lives abroad. She also made me promise that in the future, even though my friends and I are all living separate lives, we would still take the time to catch up and communicate with each other. I, of course, said yes.
This got me thinking. Out of all the relationships I built in my life, how many are still standing? I really wish everything could stay the way they are. Just like back in college, everything was simpler and we all managed to have fun through it all. I remember my best friend when I was in Kinder Garden, Krissy. In all honesty, we haven't talked since we graduated that year.
Very much like this country. Did Rizal, Bonifacio, Aguinaldo, and all the other heroes think that the democracy they fought for would bear fruit like this? Did they intend for the constitution to be used against the government's constituents, the same people it was made to protect? We can't help but question the results of our actions today. History shows us that intent has nothing to do with the future. The future happens despite (not because) of our intentions. I may very well and sincerely want to stay in touch with all my friends, because they represent all that was good in my younger (makes me feel old, using this word) years.
Are our promises really set in stone? And for that matter, what assurance do we have that the feelings of brotherhood and warmth we have towards our friends today will survive all the years being apart?
Keeks and I have been talking about our plans to leave the country and build our lives abroad. She also made me promise that in the future, even though my friends and I are all living separate lives, we would still take the time to catch up and communicate with each other. I, of course, said yes.
This got me thinking. Out of all the relationships I built in my life, how many are still standing? I really wish everything could stay the way they are. Just like back in college, everything was simpler and we all managed to have fun through it all. I remember my best friend when I was in Kinder Garden, Krissy. In all honesty, we haven't talked since we graduated that year.
Very much like this country. Did Rizal, Bonifacio, Aguinaldo, and all the other heroes think that the democracy they fought for would bear fruit like this? Did they intend for the constitution to be used against the government's constituents, the same people it was made to protect? We can't help but question the results of our actions today. History shows us that intent has nothing to do with the future. The future happens despite (not because) of our intentions. I may very well and sincerely want to stay in touch with all my friends, because they represent all that was good in my younger (makes me feel old, using this word) years.
Are our promises really set in stone? And for that matter, what assurance do we have that the feelings of brotherhood and warmth we have towards our friends today will survive all the years being apart?
the winds of change are picking up speed...
Just breaking news before I succumb to sleep. I'm currently chatting with a close friend of mine, Keeks, via YM. She just dropped a huge bomb on me right now. She'll be taking up NURSING this April.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against nurses, but we're talking about a girl who finished the same course I did. Imagine, from being an engineer trained in programming, electronics, robotics...to being a nurse!? What am I to say? Well, I wished her the best of luck because she deserves nothing less. I imagine that I'll have renewed respect for all nurses once I see Keeks donning their uniform.
You are definitely blazing your own path. From what I've heard, you are pretty sure of this. All the best to you in your endeavors Keeks! You certainly deserve success in all your dealings in life.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against nurses, but we're talking about a girl who finished the same course I did. Imagine, from being an engineer trained in programming, electronics, robotics...to being a nurse!? What am I to say? Well, I wished her the best of luck because she deserves nothing less. I imagine that I'll have renewed respect for all nurses once I see Keeks donning their uniform.
You are definitely blazing your own path. From what I've heard, you are pretty sure of this. All the best to you in your endeavors Keeks! You certainly deserve success in all your dealings in life.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
truth...
Now that I've covered Mich's request, I can get down to business.
Have any of you played "20 Questions" or perhaps the better known "Truth or Consequence/Dare" and even the infamous "Spin the Bottle"? What makes these games such hits in parties and sleepovers? Or in my case, what makes it such a good distraction, a perfect way to pass idle time?
I remember interning for Intel and incorporating 20 Questions into my boring MoRV routine. Mich (wow! two posts, back to back! you must fee really special right now huh? :p) and I would go into the production line and validate machines which is super boring. There's this one tool in the Burn-In process that takes extra time to validate. The ovens! Mich would usually help me out and we'd have a good round of 20 questions. Even when we're bringing in JAFS (peoplespeak: Jigs and Fixtures = tables, chairs, etc.) I'd make it a point to throw in a couple of questions here and there.
Fact is, TRUTH IS quickly becoming A SCARCE COMMODITY. In our age and time, we have mastered every aspect of covering or even sometimes altering the truth which is actually unnerving. It's so easy adding a well placed word or two in our online profiles. Some people have even resorted to editing their photos to get desired results. Hacking and Identity Theft are so common nowadays that some countries have created agencies to deal with Internet/Technological Crimes.
Although I would be the first to admit that I have skeletons in the closet, (pun intended) I can't believe that I try soooo hard to cover up or change even the simple stuff. We change our preferences to suit our environment. We go to upitty places when we're with our well off friends while we just go to McDonald's with others. I know people who hate coffee who drink lattes like caffeine addicts suffering a relapse in Starbucks.
In a world where "being yourself" could lead to your demise, just how much are we willing to cover up or even change? And is it possible to go in so deep under cover that we actually begin to forget who we really are?
Have any of you played "20 Questions" or perhaps the better known "Truth or Consequence/Dare" and even the infamous "Spin the Bottle"? What makes these games such hits in parties and sleepovers? Or in my case, what makes it such a good distraction, a perfect way to pass idle time?
I remember interning for Intel and incorporating 20 Questions into my boring MoRV routine. Mich (wow! two posts, back to back! you must fee really special right now huh? :p) and I would go into the production line and validate machines which is super boring. There's this one tool in the Burn-In process that takes extra time to validate. The ovens! Mich would usually help me out and we'd have a good round of 20 questions. Even when we're bringing in JAFS (peoplespeak: Jigs and Fixtures = tables, chairs, etc.) I'd make it a point to throw in a couple of questions here and there.
Fact is, TRUTH IS quickly becoming A SCARCE COMMODITY. In our age and time, we have mastered every aspect of covering or even sometimes altering the truth which is actually unnerving. It's so easy adding a well placed word or two in our online profiles. Some people have even resorted to editing their photos to get desired results. Hacking and Identity Theft are so common nowadays that some countries have created agencies to deal with Internet/Technological Crimes.
Although I would be the first to admit that I have skeletons in the closet, (pun intended) I can't believe that I try soooo hard to cover up or change even the simple stuff. We change our preferences to suit our environment. We go to upitty places when we're with our well off friends while we just go to McDonald's with others. I know people who hate coffee who drink lattes like caffeine addicts suffering a relapse in Starbucks.
In a world where "being yourself" could lead to your demise, just how much are we willing to cover up or even change? And is it possible to go in so deep under cover that we actually begin to forget who we really are?
one blatant shoutout and a tech update as well...
I was into my favorite hobby the entire day. To make sure my working friends don't get a decent chance to do their duties!!! The wonders of instant messaging allow me to annoy my closest friends. One of which is my college best friend Mich!
Working in a tech firm, she doesn't have that much access to the worldwide web. Although you can always find her lurking inside YM! Suffice to say, she doesn't read my blog (me=hurt!) and apparently she had a good excuse. She couldn't open the blogger and multiply websites! Yikes!
So, being the self-confessed web addict that I was, I decided to find a way to let her see my blog (vested interest? nah, just being helpful) at any cost! (Insert tech update here) So I shared one of my latest discoveries. Although Google Reader isn't exactly THAT new (webspeak: out of Beta) and probably was introduced shortly after RSS became widespread, I just began using it these past few weeks. So I told Mich to go into the Google Reader site (to which she didn't know that her GMail account would work...) and just subscribe to my blog's RSS feed.
I got her set up quickly and dare I say without too much difficulty. She began her assault on my blog, even taking time to digest the older entries. This is when she actually informed me of a little known fact...SHE WASN'T MENTIONED "PERSONALLY" IN ANY OF MY POSTS!!! Which, she surprisingly found insulting. Hahahahahaha.
So here I am, hitting (the proverbial) two birds with one stone!
Working in a tech firm, she doesn't have that much access to the worldwide web. Although you can always find her lurking inside YM! Suffice to say, she doesn't read my blog (me=hurt!) and apparently she had a good excuse. She couldn't open the blogger and multiply websites! Yikes!
So, being the self-confessed web addict that I was, I decided to find a way to let her see my blog (vested interest? nah, just being helpful) at any cost! (Insert tech update here) So I shared one of my latest discoveries. Although Google Reader isn't exactly THAT new (webspeak: out of Beta) and probably was introduced shortly after RSS became widespread, I just began using it these past few weeks. So I told Mich to go into the Google Reader site (to which she didn't know that her GMail account would work...) and just subscribe to my blog's RSS feed.
I got her set up quickly and dare I say without too much difficulty. She began her assault on my blog, even taking time to digest the older entries. This is when she actually informed me of a little known fact...SHE WASN'T MENTIONED "PERSONALLY" IN ANY OF MY POSTS!!! Which, she surprisingly found insulting. Hahahahahaha.
So here I am, hitting (the proverbial) two birds with one stone!
shifting gears...
This is the first time in quite a while that I'll be writing something in the morning. Well, decent morning hours at least. Not the usual 1-3 AM when dawn comes a little later still.
Nothings is that different in the morning actually. I'm just a lot sleepier, it's warmer (that's putting it nicely, it's actually scorching hot) and it's the time of day I see my dad's face a lot. So yeah, I concede, I enjoy late nights a lot more. SO SUE ME!
I absolutely abhor mornings. Everyone is sooo busy, moving about like little ants or bees, contributing to society. People are best when they're quiet, asleep or dead. That way I actually get to keep my sanity. Morning for me is like being stuck in one of those shared dreams by the Brady Bunch. Simply put: the sunlight hurts my eyes, the heat burns, my throat is always parched, my skin is clammy, and I tend to see "active" people more often. Also, to answer your question: NO, I am not a loner and I am neither sociopathic nor vampiric.
Nothings is that different in the morning actually. I'm just a lot sleepier, it's warmer (that's putting it nicely, it's actually scorching hot) and it's the time of day I see my dad's face a lot. So yeah, I concede, I enjoy late nights a lot more. SO SUE ME!
I absolutely abhor mornings. Everyone is sooo busy, moving about like little ants or bees, contributing to society. People are best when they're quiet, asleep or dead. That way I actually get to keep my sanity. Morning for me is like being stuck in one of those shared dreams by the Brady Bunch. Simply put: the sunlight hurts my eyes, the heat burns, my throat is always parched, my skin is clammy, and I tend to see "active" people more often. Also, to answer your question: NO, I am not a loner and I am neither sociopathic nor vampiric.
Monday, February 19, 2007
true colors...
My family lives with a perky, upbeat person who is, unfortunately, high maintenance at times. My friends (y'know, people you hang out with) see me as the all-smiles type of person who doesn't know a whole lot about being street smart. My coworkers interact with a friendly Jowee everyday. Someone who's game for anything, whose zeal for camaraderie greatly outweighs even company policies. This, in general, is the Jowee that they see:
However, it was brought to my attention just a few hours ago how dual I can get. Edissa (my brother's wife, remember?) and I had this unexpected (to say the least) chat (via YM) earlier. It seems, that in my desire to have people read my blog again, I inadvertently opened my blog to my family - a big "NO-NO" for me ever since I started this. Well, it's not my paranoia that I'm getting at right now. I was actually surprised by how close she got to the truth. I wasn't alarmed (yeah right!) or anything. It just got me thinking how much of an airhead I must appear to be in public.
Although this idea brings a smile to my face, (after all, who doesn't enjoy playing the part of a common place jester?) it doesn't sit well with me that I am probably conveying an almost Schizophrenic-like exterior. In a world where privacy is becoming a rare commodity, would you be willing to sacrifice your public facade? It seems that I have stumbled upon another one of life's stupid enigmas.
"Which is the real me?", I now ask...does anyone really know? Even I don't...
However, it was brought to my attention just a few hours ago how dual I can get. Edissa (my brother's wife, remember?) and I had this unexpected (to say the least) chat (via YM) earlier. It seems, that in my desire to have people read my blog again, I inadvertently opened my blog to my family - a big "NO-NO" for me ever since I started this. Well, it's not my paranoia that I'm getting at right now. I was actually surprised by how close she got to the truth. I wasn't alarmed (yeah right!) or anything. It just got me thinking how much of an airhead I must appear to be in public.
Although this idea brings a smile to my face, (after all, who doesn't enjoy playing the part of a common place jester?) it doesn't sit well with me that I am probably conveying an almost Schizophrenic-like exterior. In a world where privacy is becoming a rare commodity, would you be willing to sacrifice your public facade? It seems that I have stumbled upon another one of life's stupid enigmas.
"Which is the real me?", I now ask...does anyone really know? Even I don't...
voices...
No...I'm not hearing voices. I'm not THAT weird!
It's just amazing how many ideas, notions, thoughts and decisions pass through our heads with each second. We always say our minds are accustomed to change and we are very adaptable because of this. My theory is, people are just simply fickle minded.
Yeah. It's no mystery. We're just looking for fancy words and noble reasons to justify our actions. For example, you need to buy an item (assuming of course, that you're not a compulsive buyer) we tend to look around first. We make sure we get the "best value" for our money. The same goes with everything else.
We have this idea that we only deserve the best and we shouldn't settle for anything less. Another testament to human pride. We envelope our selves in this perfect and wonderful illusion. We dream so much that we forget where reality ends and our dreamscape begins.
Another reason for our never ending delusion is hope. Hope is nothing but an idea we cling to when it becomes clear that nothing will go right. When we succeed, we thank ourselves for being hopeful. Lets set a scenario that proves there is no such thing as hope.
During the 9/11 attacks in New York, 2602 people died (bodies found) adn only a handful survived. Adam Mayblum was on of the lucky survivors and he is heavy into the idea that the heroism of the people involved is amazing. We could just imagine how he must've felt during the incident. We must also accept the fact that it is easy to sound heroic once the details are coming out of your mouth. He must've hoped at some given time that he wouldn't die right then and there. He might have even prayed to his god. He must be thankful right now...cherishing his life more.
Well, how about the other 2602 people, and not mentioning the 4 people that are still "missing"? I would expect that they too prayed and hoped that they would survive. So does this mean that hope is as fickle as we are? It's much easier to summize that there is no such thing as hope. It is not a tangible idea, a mere figment of our imaginations.
Wake up. Smell reality wafting through the air.
"Unfortunately, no one can be shown what the matrix is..." - Morpheus (The Matrix, duh?!)
It's just amazing how many ideas, notions, thoughts and decisions pass through our heads with each second. We always say our minds are accustomed to change and we are very adaptable because of this. My theory is, people are just simply fickle minded.
Yeah. It's no mystery. We're just looking for fancy words and noble reasons to justify our actions. For example, you need to buy an item (assuming of course, that you're not a compulsive buyer) we tend to look around first. We make sure we get the "best value" for our money. The same goes with everything else.
We have this idea that we only deserve the best and we shouldn't settle for anything less. Another testament to human pride. We envelope our selves in this perfect and wonderful illusion. We dream so much that we forget where reality ends and our dreamscape begins.
Another reason for our never ending delusion is hope. Hope is nothing but an idea we cling to when it becomes clear that nothing will go right. When we succeed, we thank ourselves for being hopeful. Lets set a scenario that proves there is no such thing as hope.
During the 9/11 attacks in New York, 2602 people died (bodies found) adn only a handful survived. Adam Mayblum was on of the lucky survivors and he is heavy into the idea that the heroism of the people involved is amazing. We could just imagine how he must've felt during the incident. We must also accept the fact that it is easy to sound heroic once the details are coming out of your mouth. He must've hoped at some given time that he wouldn't die right then and there. He might have even prayed to his god. He must be thankful right now...cherishing his life more.
Well, how about the other 2602 people, and not mentioning the 4 people that are still "missing"? I would expect that they too prayed and hoped that they would survive. So does this mean that hope is as fickle as we are? It's much easier to summize that there is no such thing as hope. It is not a tangible idea, a mere figment of our imaginations.
Wake up. Smell reality wafting through the air.
"Unfortunately, no one can be shown what the matrix is..." - Morpheus (The Matrix, duh?!)
Sunday, February 18, 2007
leafing through the written pages of my life...
I had a bad case of the "reminiscing" virus today. I went on a binge trip through old photo albums, digital pictures, and of course, I re-acquainted myself with all my friends in Friendster. It was hopeless. Before I knew it, I was checking in on friends that I haven't met in years. Getting an idea of where they are in life. Think of it as a maturity lowjack for all friends and past acquaintances.
Looking at the diagram above (reminds me of our thesis presentation) you get a feel of how we could possibly classify people we meet. We can say that he/she is a hot lay, a person who touches the innermost part of your brain, someone who baffles you to no end, or just someone you're trying your best to forget.
Well, just leaving you with something to ponder on. Go on, reminisce with me and try to arrange people into neat, classified piles. You know you want to...it would make our lives sooo much easier. To look at it from a far away perspective, distancing yourself from memories that just seem to hurt everytime.
Looking at the diagram above (reminds me of our thesis presentation) you get a feel of how we could possibly classify people we meet. We can say that he/she is a hot lay, a person who touches the innermost part of your brain, someone who baffles you to no end, or just someone you're trying your best to forget.
Well, just leaving you with something to ponder on. Go on, reminisce with me and try to arrange people into neat, classified piles. You know you want to...it would make our lives sooo much easier. To look at it from a far away perspective, distancing yourself from memories that just seem to hurt everytime.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
three days, different emotions...
I went to the Mall of Asia consistently for the past three days (time check: 9:49 PM. Yes! Today, is still "today") and I have been experiencing weird emotions. Fluctuating and sometimes outright unwanted, I just had the time to think about it now. Don't get me wrong, February 15, 16 and 17 (side note: have you guys noticed that the letters B and V, which sounds similar, are set beside one another in the keyboard? I just typed February with a V and had a laugh, hehehe. "Fevruary" sooo gay!) - back to the story - so, those three days are not downright special. I guess the fact that I spent most of the three days in one place makes it easier to paint a picture.
February 15:
This feels like an episode of 24...only a day per episode! Harharhar! The day started out normal enough. Woke up kinda early, I had to go with mom to Cash and Carry to meet tita Ava. Well, on a side note, I hope tita Ava gets well really soon! We ate at Luk Yuen (yummy!) and went around looking at different grocery stuff we needed at home. So, tita Ava arrived after enduring traffic in the express way (not exactly breaking news, right?) and we handed her the gown she commissioned mommy to make. Also, I forgot to mention, we brought Botchog (my favorite kid cousin) along. We just made a stop at the drugstore so mom could buy cold relief medicine. I also made a stop at the local DVD store buying Justice League CDs - supercool! - pun intended.
We went home and my sister, Kate arrived from work. She immediately asked me to come with her to MOA to look at prescription glasses. This of course, pumped me up, because she earlier promised that I get to keep her old Oakley frame when she gets a new pair. So off we went to MOA to look at frames. I gave her my opinions about different stuff she tried on. I was actually surprised that she ended up purcahsing a pair during that same trip. So first emotion - ENVY. I hated myself then and there. Envy? Fucking envy? It goes without saying that your siblings are the last people you should be envious about, because it's a lot easier being genuinely happy for someone in the family, right?
Also, we found out that she’ll be getting a second pair of glasses, ABSOLUTELY FREE – MORE ENVY. Why she hadn’t had the second pair made out for me was beyond reason!!! So we went out of the store and we still needed to make a stop at
I just need to explain, I have this habit of becoming awfully silent or cool (not “rockin’” cool, but more of a “cold” cool) when I’m either mad or sad but I do this in such a way that you don’t notice. So I ended up giving my sister the cold shoulder for the remainder of the day. She didn’t even figure this out, which further infuriated me. I know, I don’t want people to know when I’m mad but I get madder when they don’t – I’m just abnormal I guess, or psycho for that matter.
February 16:
It’s my sister payday. Hurray for her. She asked me I if I could go with her to Jenny’s (her bestfriend) house to drop off Jaz’s (Jenny’s daughter, her godchild) birthday present. But before we could drive over there, we needed to stop by MOA to get donuts or something like that for Jenny.
So I got dressed and we went to MOA but we ended up getting Cheese Rolls instead. And to make sure we were not horrible (a.k.a. Hungry) guests, my sister had to feed me, which made me feel pathetic because who, in their right mind, would ask their penniless, good for nothing brother to pay for his own meal, right? – SELF LOATHING. We also needed to pay for our monthly mobile phone service, which, in actuality, represented the last of my savings. I felt so fucking helpless right then.
I also decided to look around for a pink PSP because Ana told me to look for one. So I did, successfully, find one that was just the right price. I was trying to call Ana just to make sure she wanted it. I couldn’t even give the lady behind the counter a definite answer since I couldn’t ask her to hold the item for me because I had no way of securing an advance payment on the item. I was such a loser then trying to give flimsy excuses why she should hold the item for me without having me front money for it.
So we get to Jenny’s place and we meet a very unenthusiastic (a.k.a. crying, no, more like bawling) Jaz to drop off the gift. My sister was happy with her salary, more cheers for her (I’m being sarcastic right now…). We needed to drop by a dental supply shop before finally heading home. It goes without saying that I was the one to get off the car to go buy stuff. This is due, in large part, to my lack of a driver’s license. Imagine, a 22 year old male without a license – MORE SELF LOATHING.
Today:
I was actually the one to remind my sister that her glasses should be fine for pick up today. DUMB FUCK! So we were on our way again to MOA to pick them up. They were perfect of course, and fit perfectly on her perfect face, and matched her perfect eyes…SHIT! She asked me if I wanted to have a look around before we went home. I said yes. EVEN DUMBER FUCK!!!
I went to different optical shops to look for styles that I liked. I made my rounds looking at frames that I didn’t dare touch (if I broke one, I wouldn’t be able to pay for it) while navigating my way around incessant sales people. Let me get this straight, I firmly believe that if you’re positive that you wouldn’t be buying anything, you shouldn’t bother the sales people because if you don’t purchase anything, you are, technically, not paying for their services. - EMBARRASSMENT
So I didn’t want to bother the hard working people but there was this one guy who didn’t know how to relent. I was almost – mind you, ALMOST – at the point of shouting at him to tell him that I didn’t have dough to buy anything and that his time was better spent with customers who actually had money – EVEN MORE EMBARRASSMENT. Even if I didn’t actually say that out loud, just thinking about it made we want to puke. So I just told my sister that we should quit it and just go home.
I probably should just look forward to the fact that I’ll be most probably hired before the month ends. But since nothing is set in stone yet, I wouldn’t want to count on that just yet. What was that about eggs, chickens, and counting… I just want to evaporate right now. I see the looks my family’s giving me. That USELESS, GOOD FOR NOTHING, FAT, UGLY, PENNILESS, SPINELESS EXCUSE FOR A MAN…they’re probably saying. I should probably go back to slashing my wrists, at least that made me feel good.
tech report
Hey guys! Are you aware that Google is letting people download Symantec's Norton Antivirus 2005 LE?! It's legit and if you're connected to the internet while you're installing the damn thing, you can even register your product. It includes six months worth of free updates! After which you can renew for a one year extension.
Need more info? Just search "Google Pack" or if you're like me and you have a GMail account (who doesn't have one nowadays?) you can just browse through your account options.
It's amazing how many Google products I'm using at the moment! Try looking into Google Reader, (RSS feeds in one page, no need to flip through multiple tabs or worse mutiple WINDOWS) Picasa2 and lots more cool stuff. This might not be news for most of you but hey, it was just too good not to share.
Need more info? Just search "Google Pack" or if you're like me and you have a GMail account (who doesn't have one nowadays?) you can just browse through your account options.
It's amazing how many Google products I'm using at the moment! Try looking into Google Reader, (RSS feeds in one page, no need to flip through multiple tabs or worse mutiple WINDOWS) Picasa2 and lots more cool stuff. This might not be news for most of you but hey, it was just too good not to share.
losing innocence (not to mention sanity) in the internet...
Need I say more???...didn't think so
and FYI: Men DO shave. We shave our facial hair, burns...some even shave their heads, chest hair, treasure trails and I am avoiding pointing out things lower than the belt line okaaaaay?!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
it suddenly hits you, like falling bricks...
Remember when KLite signed-off last year? I was sad but I always thought I'll have to stick with NU 107, 99.5 RT, or even the occasional trip to RX 93.1. It dawned on me this afternoon just how much I needed KLite to be there.
Everytime NU would go into commercials, I usually just flipped back one channel in the car radio's preset...but what happened earlier was, I dropped in on a very...VERY SAPPY SONG. It wasn't even funny. I literally got goosebumps!!! If I wasn't hungry, I would've definitely puked. The shit "Heart-FM" was blaring through the air was audio poison!
No, video didn't kill the radio star...moronic management did...
Everytime NU would go into commercials, I usually just flipped back one channel in the car radio's preset...but what happened earlier was, I dropped in on a very...VERY SAPPY SONG. It wasn't even funny. I literally got goosebumps!!! If I wasn't hungry, I would've definitely puked. The shit "Heart-FM" was blaring through the air was audio poison!
No, video didn't kill the radio star...moronic management did...
living the digital lifestyle
Finally! After a long time of inactivity, I have revived my Multiply page...and revived it I did. It has the chronicle of lost time between my resignation and my search for a new job. A brief explanation here is actually worth thousands of photos. Although I wouldn't upload them all (that's just plain stupid) the most important ones are there.
Feel free to drop in at any time. The link's right there
Feel free to drop in at any time. The link's right there
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
as the day comes to a close...
Singles' Awareness Day (popularly know as SAD) is almost coming to and end. Tomorrow will find a lot of singles happy, refreshed, glad THAT is finally over and a lot of couples with surprisingly lowered expectations.
In this day when humanity finds itself consuming vast amounts of flowers (making the bees, wasps, and oh - the butterflies as well - very very angry) for no apparent reason than to fool members of the opposite sex, third sex, or even the sexually deluded minority into thinking one is worthy of a good shag, a hot lay, effing sex...there are a lot of terms y'know?! So we all should pause for a while and think things over. From a very clandestine and abhorrent affair back when the Romans ruled the "civilized" world to a commercialized business (running in the millions of dollars) nowadays, what do we get out of Valentine's?
The materialistic would say "chocolates and flowers", the romantics would say "a chance at finding love" or perhaps we should go with the realists (or down to earth honest people...if I could say so myself) admitting "I'm just in it for the sex, or torrid kissing (the type with tongues involved) at the least". From these definitions, it appears that the question has transformed itself into one of base morality. No need to get into that, right chaps?
It doesn't matter now. Last I checked there's only an hour and thirty minutes left before SAD finally ends. Now we find ourselves with a full year to think about it once more. A year, I hope, that would lead to better conclusions and better reasoning as well. As for me, just like I did today, I will not celebrate Valentine's day, I'm not doing so because of personal, deep-seated reasons.
It IS for the environment after all that I make this (ehem ehem) ultimate sacrifice.
I leave you with this:
Had some sense knocked into you now? Well...
This...
is not a heart darling...
Now this...
is what a heart really looks like.
Not at all romantic, is it?
In this day when humanity finds itself consuming vast amounts of flowers (making the bees, wasps, and oh - the butterflies as well - very very angry) for no apparent reason than to fool members of the opposite sex, third sex, or even the sexually deluded minority into thinking one is worthy of a good shag, a hot lay, effing sex...there are a lot of terms y'know?! So we all should pause for a while and think things over. From a very clandestine and abhorrent affair back when the Romans ruled the "civilized" world to a commercialized business (running in the millions of dollars) nowadays, what do we get out of Valentine's?
The materialistic would say "chocolates and flowers", the romantics would say "a chance at finding love" or perhaps we should go with the realists (or down to earth honest people...if I could say so myself) admitting "I'm just in it for the sex, or torrid kissing (the type with tongues involved) at the least". From these definitions, it appears that the question has transformed itself into one of base morality. No need to get into that, right chaps?
It doesn't matter now. Last I checked there's only an hour and thirty minutes left before SAD finally ends. Now we find ourselves with a full year to think about it once more. A year, I hope, that would lead to better conclusions and better reasoning as well. As for me, just like I did today, I will not celebrate Valentine's day, I'm not doing so because of personal, deep-seated reasons.
It IS for the environment after all that I make this (ehem ehem) ultimate sacrifice.
I leave you with this:
Had some sense knocked into you now? Well...This...
is not a heart darling...
Now this...
is what a heart really looks like.Not at all romantic, is it?
on sacrifices...
Testing day has come and gone and I'm no better for it. I'm just plain tired.
It had a nice trip going to the plant but that's because I shelled out money for a 1 hour cab ride!!! Damn...still, money well spent.
Had I known it would be an all day affair, I would've sent the cab driver away the instant I got off. But no, here I was thinking it's just a test, half-day...MAX!!! HELL NO!!! Six friggin tests, the first one dictates whether you could continue on to the next five...then...there's a friggin "THEN" here, HR and Technical interviews in the afternoon!
If only I knew before hand, I would've worn shorts and flip-flops...
Going home was the worst part...three jeepney rides from Laguna. Damn it!!!!
It had a nice trip going to the plant but that's because I shelled out money for a 1 hour cab ride!!! Damn...still, money well spent.
Had I known it would be an all day affair, I would've sent the cab driver away the instant I got off. But no, here I was thinking it's just a test, half-day...MAX!!! HELL NO!!! Six friggin tests, the first one dictates whether you could continue on to the next five...then...there's a friggin "THEN" here, HR and Technical interviews in the afternoon!
If only I knew before hand, I would've worn shorts and flip-flops...
Going home was the worst part...three jeepney rides from Laguna. Damn it!!!!
Friday, February 09, 2007
the rabbit's out of the hat!!!
Finally!!! After waiting for soooo long for a job (that I actually like) to come my way, my supertrump application went through! Powered by my mad MSWord editing skills (hehehehe) combined with my brother's smooth emailing skills plus sir Deng's (his former boss) heavy hitting submission powers (hahahaha), I finally got a call from Amkor-Anam!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I'll still have to undergo testing but my brother told me, it's just to make sure I'm not crazy or a possible terrorist. Bet I'll pass that. Hope I really do get in.
If not, I still have fallbacks. Management jobs in different companies. Just like the opportunities I missed when I left my previous job.
Yes, I'll still have to undergo testing but my brother told me, it's just to make sure I'm not crazy or a possible terrorist. Bet I'll pass that. Hope I really do get in.
If not, I still have fallbacks. Management jobs in different companies. Just like the opportunities I missed when I left my previous job.
Monday, February 05, 2007
okaaaaay...
I know, I know...
It HAS been a while since I last posted anything. Well I did go into self imposed hibernation after I resigned from my previous job.
The holidays were great! Tons of fun to be had everywhere we went to and at any time of the day. I went to Baguio with my aunt and her family from Perth.
Then after my brother's wedding (yes, apparently, it was his final answer, it was "deal") we went to the beautiful island of Bohol.
Trust me, you should go.
BUT! And this is one MASSIVE BUT...
I need to find myself a new job now. I could go to Singapore or Australia but I don't want to go there if I'm not sure if I could get a job pronto! Sure my relatives would be more than happy to put me up for a few months but I don't feel okay with that. Y'know?
It seems like I'll have to settle for getting one to two years worth of experience here in the Philippines before I head out to Singapore. It's all good, that way I don't have to iron my own clothes just yet.
It HAS been a while since I last posted anything. Well I did go into self imposed hibernation after I resigned from my previous job.
The holidays were great! Tons of fun to be had everywhere we went to and at any time of the day. I went to Baguio with my aunt and her family from Perth.
Then after my brother's wedding (yes, apparently, it was his final answer, it was "deal") we went to the beautiful island of Bohol.
Trust me, you should go.
BUT! And this is one MASSIVE BUT...
I need to find myself a new job now. I could go to Singapore or Australia but I don't want to go there if I'm not sure if I could get a job pronto! Sure my relatives would be more than happy to put me up for a few months but I don't feel okay with that. Y'know?
It seems like I'll have to settle for getting one to two years worth of experience here in the Philippines before I head out to Singapore. It's all good, that way I don't have to iron my own clothes just yet.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
on life-altering decisions...
My resignation date is fast approaching and I've been getting lots of invitations for interviews and even job offers via my email. Resigning is starting to look like the best decision at this point.
My managers have tried to retain me by informing of what I will and could possibly miss when I leave. There's the tax rebate that should be given during the first pay-out in January (although I'm still wishing that it'll come in by the 22nd).
There's Dell...final interview and Job Offer (hopefully) on January. Pros: relatively high salary, the office is a stone's throw away & Cons: it's another friggin contact center!
There's Standard Chartered...online assesment still pending (gotta have a blazin internet connection for that one). Pros: Singapore based, aligned w/ my course & Cons: I'm doubtful I'll get the position.
There's Hewlett-Packard (hope I spelled that right)...interview tomorrow. Pros: well known company, office is in oh-so-cool Makati & Cons: I don't know what the job is, and being in Makati, I'll end up spending my salary even before I get it.
Hmmm...I miss the days when choices I had to do were between McDonald's or Jollibee...
My managers have tried to retain me by informing of what I will and could possibly miss when I leave. There's the tax rebate that should be given during the first pay-out in January (although I'm still wishing that it'll come in by the 22nd).
There's Dell...final interview and Job Offer (hopefully) on January. Pros: relatively high salary, the office is a stone's throw away & Cons: it's another friggin contact center!
There's Standard Chartered...online assesment still pending (gotta have a blazin internet connection for that one). Pros: Singapore based, aligned w/ my course & Cons: I'm doubtful I'll get the position.
There's Hewlett-Packard (hope I spelled that right)...interview tomorrow. Pros: well known company, office is in oh-so-cool Makati & Cons: I don't know what the job is, and being in Makati, I'll end up spending my salary even before I get it.
Hmmm...I miss the days when choices I had to do were between McDonald's or Jollibee...
Friday, December 01, 2006
on the winds of change...
I am typing this with boom-boom, disco music blaring through my Sennheisser headphones, slightly altering my state of reality. Wish I had acid to wash it all down with...to recreate that genuine rave atmosphere that has become scarce as of late.
I have been burning money faster than Bush's war machine this past few days. A movie here, coffee there, extravagant gifts in one hand, and piling orders of expensive perfumes to pay for. I'm only beginning to experience how good it feels to be earning a salary.
Happy Feet and Casino Royale this past two weeks. Dinner with my ate and her friends, lunch with mom and dad. It comes without saying that my finances have seen better, more stable days. But I'm taking it all in stride. Things are going my way. The storm missed Manila, I got to buy Jana cool gifts, I'm having a blast.
And I've also come to terms with the reality that I won't be getting the bonus for quality after all. It's just compliance and attendance for me. But who gives a flying fart in space. I just hope birds start to sporadically shit on my QA's head. Coach's been acting up lately as well...the expected after-effects of her "official" management training...MY ASS!!! She didn't even take a single management course in college! She's digging into this let's bond and drink poisoned kool-aide together. It's giving me the hibbie-gibbies. Plus, she's planning to spend one of our rest days talking about our quality. I AM SOOOOO NOT SHOWING UP FOR THAT.
I'm starting to see the brighter side of having to work just TEN MORE DAYS!!! Then it's adios ms. "cheers" and "moving forward"...hahahahahaha!!!!
I have been burning money faster than Bush's war machine this past few days. A movie here, coffee there, extravagant gifts in one hand, and piling orders of expensive perfumes to pay for. I'm only beginning to experience how good it feels to be earning a salary.
Happy Feet and Casino Royale this past two weeks. Dinner with my ate and her friends, lunch with mom and dad. It comes without saying that my finances have seen better, more stable days. But I'm taking it all in stride. Things are going my way. The storm missed Manila, I got to buy Jana cool gifts, I'm having a blast.
And I've also come to terms with the reality that I won't be getting the bonus for quality after all. It's just compliance and attendance for me. But who gives a flying fart in space. I just hope birds start to sporadically shit on my QA's head. Coach's been acting up lately as well...the expected after-effects of her "official" management training...MY ASS!!! She didn't even take a single management course in college! She's digging into this let's bond and drink poisoned kool-aide together. It's giving me the hibbie-gibbies. Plus, she's planning to spend one of our rest days talking about our quality. I AM SOOOOO NOT SHOWING UP FOR THAT.
I'm starting to see the brighter side of having to work just TEN MORE DAYS!!! Then it's adios ms. "cheers" and "moving forward"...hahahahahaha!!!!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
on reciprocity...
"Reciprocity"...to reciprocate...to give in turn...to give in equal...
...a word that has been plaguing the headlines recently. The new Pope asking for equal rights on Muslim soil as with the rights extended to their bretheren in western nations.
Reciprocity is not merely Christian propaganda but a mere impossibility. When base human nature is dictated by greed or by our own selfish emotions, do we honestly have room for equality?
I have this friend Kel - from work. Well, he has...or as of this morning, had...this auntie who suffered from bone cancer. Among the family, he was the only person who wouldn't accept the hopelessness of the situation. The gravity of the mere possibility of death never had a pull on him. He was a fighter, just like his aunt was a fighter. I just heard a few hours ago that his aunt finally passed. According to reciprocity, or just basic equality, he should be given his dues. Then why must he suffer the greatest? Why do the bonds that connected him to his aunt, the same bonds that he held on to so tightly now cause him this pain?
I recently had a fight with one of my workmates, Ting. I called her a scatterbrain in front of the whole team. She cried, lots of drama that was...but we worked it out. Now, we have this fucking queer teammate who just happens to disagree with my brusque approach two days ago, when I berrated Ting. As usual, the fucking cunt rolled his eyes and told me about his grievances...HIS GRIEVANCES mind you!? Now what's wrong with this picture? Ting and I had a disagreement, now why the fuck does this bitch react so...so...
...it's like we two are having the fight instead. Come on you idiot!!! And I'm not one for drama myself. I wanted to break this spineless freak's neck the whole fucking day! Showing me attitude like that when Ting and I made up already and were even eating together. This freaking Bedan who studied in Australia (as proven by his awfully mispronounced English) who actually thinks he's something note-worthy. Pathetic existence. He just happens to be a really funny Nora Aunor cum President Arroyo impersonator that never fails to make people laugh. What a joke! The earth should just open up and swallow him up.
Reciprocity...just another useless word in the dictionary...
...a word that has been plaguing the headlines recently. The new Pope asking for equal rights on Muslim soil as with the rights extended to their bretheren in western nations.
Reciprocity is not merely Christian propaganda but a mere impossibility. When base human nature is dictated by greed or by our own selfish emotions, do we honestly have room for equality?
I have this friend Kel - from work. Well, he has...or as of this morning, had...this auntie who suffered from bone cancer. Among the family, he was the only person who wouldn't accept the hopelessness of the situation. The gravity of the mere possibility of death never had a pull on him. He was a fighter, just like his aunt was a fighter. I just heard a few hours ago that his aunt finally passed. According to reciprocity, or just basic equality, he should be given his dues. Then why must he suffer the greatest? Why do the bonds that connected him to his aunt, the same bonds that he held on to so tightly now cause him this pain?
I recently had a fight with one of my workmates, Ting. I called her a scatterbrain in front of the whole team. She cried, lots of drama that was...but we worked it out. Now, we have this fucking queer teammate who just happens to disagree with my brusque approach two days ago, when I berrated Ting. As usual, the fucking cunt rolled his eyes and told me about his grievances...HIS GRIEVANCES mind you!? Now what's wrong with this picture? Ting and I had a disagreement, now why the fuck does this bitch react so...so...
...it's like we two are having the fight instead. Come on you idiot!!! And I'm not one for drama myself. I wanted to break this spineless freak's neck the whole fucking day! Showing me attitude like that when Ting and I made up already and were even eating together. This freaking Bedan who studied in Australia (as proven by his awfully mispronounced English) who actually thinks he's something note-worthy. Pathetic existence. He just happens to be a really funny Nora Aunor cum President Arroyo impersonator that never fails to make people laugh. What a joke! The earth should just open up and swallow him up.
Reciprocity...just another useless word in the dictionary...
Sunday, November 26, 2006
on expectations and excitement
The holidays are fast approaching and I'm working my ass of for some decent money to make my pseudo-"off-work"-sabbatical enjoyable at the least.
I'm already getting tons of email from family living abroad about their flight plans and whatnot. I'm excited most of all about my brother's return. I'm looking forward to the wedding due, in large part, to the would-be presence of mouth-watering food. The possibility of him bringing me his graduation cum birthday cum christmas is also note worthy. I'm just waiting for my baby to reach my lap and eager, greasy hands.
On to the present...
I was seriously annoyed last night when I found out that my secret santa at work was the oh-so irresponsible, can't-count-on-him, Wilson!!!
Which pretty much meant I had no gift earlier. Needless to say I'm looking forward to four more "giftless" Saturdays...WHICH, by the way, won't stop me from buying cool gifts for Jana (my baby).
I'm also looking for someone who'd be willing to go with me to the corporate xmas party. BESIDES my sister...
O well, just three more weeks before I jet.
I'm already getting tons of email from family living abroad about their flight plans and whatnot. I'm excited most of all about my brother's return. I'm looking forward to the wedding due, in large part, to the would-be presence of mouth-watering food. The possibility of him bringing me his graduation cum birthday cum christmas is also note worthy. I'm just waiting for my baby to reach my lap and eager, greasy hands.
On to the present...
I was seriously annoyed last night when I found out that my secret santa at work was the oh-so irresponsible, can't-count-on-him, Wilson!!!
Which pretty much meant I had no gift earlier. Needless to say I'm looking forward to four more "giftless" Saturdays...WHICH, by the way, won't stop me from buying cool gifts for Jana (my baby).
I'm also looking for someone who'd be willing to go with me to the corporate xmas party. BESIDES my sister...
O well, just three more weeks before I jet.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
on farewells and Ta-Ta's...
I've finally decided to resign from my current job on December 22. That'll be it, no more working 'til all family festivities are over.
At least I get to spend Christmas with everyone. That's a big deal in our house. More so now that the whole family will be here for my brother's wedding...
If you look close enough, you'll actually see tons of ants swarming their sweetness.
But I have to say, I'll miss them:
At least I get to spend Christmas with everyone. That's a big deal in our house. More so now that the whole family will be here for my brother's wedding...
If you look close enough, you'll actually see tons of ants swarming their sweetness.But I have to say, I'll miss them:
on bitter endings and sweet beginnings...
I've pretty much considered this blog dead. After the pressures of college life ended I almost went full on against my job. I had no time to rest and no time to spare looking for hotspots or to even lug my laptop around with me.
Graduation was fine. I got goosebumps when we were made to transfer the tassle from one side to the other. But that's it... No glowing feeling, no special ingkling inside to throw my graduation cap to high heavens (except maybe to drop on the bimbo's head - aka "she who hath no idea what she was yapping about during her graduation speech").
I expected too much from the affair. Maybe I wanted to cry, y'know? To signal that I am no longer a happy-go-lucky college student who had the world at his fingertips...to welcome the fact that I am now a fledgling engineer struggling to prove himself. But I guess the fact that I have been working for the last two trimesters of my scholastic life sapped the "naivite" out of it all.
I'm not that stupid graduate clutching his portfolio close to his chest wondering if he can get a job that pays him more than his monthly allowance. I now knew how shitty life was. How a diploma from my oh-so-distinguished alma mater can only help you stick your foot in the door. The cold hard fact was that I knew how much it sucked to work. I knew that government taxes are like highway robbery against what you earn. I know how managers get to go on two-hour lunches while I had ask permission just to pee.
I have long since been disenchanted by the "real world". I already know that youth is like alcohol, it tastes bad in the beginning (childhood), then you get the buzz (teenage years), then you get drunk and forget your inhibitions (college), and then YOU FUCKING WAKE UP WITH THE WORST GODDAMN HANG-OVER. Reality sucks...deal with it.
I wonder if we'd still look like this ten years from now.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
far worse than spending the night in a haunted house...
We've decided to spice up our thesis making. So besides all the harassing trips to Quiapo, exploding circuits, and wild bickering amongst ourselves, we decided to bring our relationship as thesis mates to the next level. WE DECIDED TO STAY IN SCHOOL...OVERNIGHT!!!
Needles to say, I'm a little bit nervous at the prospect of having no way out. I usually go home when I'm far too pissed to function but tonight will be helluva big deal for me.
NO OUTS
NO BREAKS
NO RUNNING FROM THE MOB
simply put...
NO ESCAPE!!!
I hope I get to keep my marbles later. But I honestly think it's gonna be fun. Besides, I enjoy watching wrestling and octagon fights anyways...
Needles to say, I'm a little bit nervous at the prospect of having no way out. I usually go home when I'm far too pissed to function but tonight will be helluva big deal for me.
NO OUTS
NO BREAKS
NO RUNNING FROM THE MOB
simply put...
NO ESCAPE!!!
I hope I get to keep my marbles later. But I honestly think it's gonna be fun. Besides, I enjoy watching wrestling and octagon fights anyways...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
fireworks and shooting stars
Quick update!!!
We just popped one IC Chip in our circuit. It literally went BOOM! SPARK! then POP! Amazing...the smell of freshly burnt circuitry is still in the air. Hmmm...Monday looks super near right about now...MICROSCOPIC even.
We just popped one IC Chip in our circuit. It literally went BOOM! SPARK! then POP! Amazing...the smell of freshly burnt circuitry is still in the air. Hmmm...Monday looks super near right about now...MICROSCOPIC even.
adventures in the "High Halls of Learning"...
aka...De La Salle University. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I'm currently stuck in school with my jittery thesismates. But we're all happy campers. We're working on our uber high tech thesis. "The Teleoperation of a Four-Wheeled Robot" which in human terms is: an uber-expensive, migraine-inducing, engineer's version of a remote controlled toy. Hehehehehe. We engineers just looooove to complicate our lives.
But we're still in there, grinding our bones to powder trying to make sure everything is working perfectly by Monday. Cheerio dudes!
We had a little adventure yesterday as well. After my little morning chit-chat over breakfast (which saved me from actual hunger later in the day) with Gen and Candice, I decided to go directly to school instead of my planned one hour stop over at home.
Getting to school, we decided to go buy all the stuff we needed. Target area: RAON!!! So we went to Quiapo (and I wasn't even able to buy friggin DVDs...) to start our simple adventure. Needless to say, there was tons of walking to be done.
So I went home after a TWENTY-EIGHT HOUR DAY!!! Good thing mom made amazing Tuna Belly for dinner. I just flopped like a dead person after that.
I'm currently stuck in school with my jittery thesismates. But we're all happy campers. We're working on our uber high tech thesis. "The Teleoperation of a Four-Wheeled Robot" which in human terms is: an uber-expensive, migraine-inducing, engineer's version of a remote controlled toy. Hehehehehe. We engineers just looooove to complicate our lives.
But we're still in there, grinding our bones to powder trying to make sure everything is working perfectly by Monday. Cheerio dudes!
We had a little adventure yesterday as well. After my little morning chit-chat over breakfast (which saved me from actual hunger later in the day) with Gen and Candice, I decided to go directly to school instead of my planned one hour stop over at home.
Getting to school, we decided to go buy all the stuff we needed. Target area: RAON!!! So we went to Quiapo (and I wasn't even able to buy friggin DVDs...) to start our simple adventure. Needless to say, there was tons of walking to be done.
So I went home after a TWENTY-EIGHT HOUR DAY!!! Good thing mom made amazing Tuna Belly for dinner. I just flopped like a dead person after that.
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