the pain of being sure...

I just came home from my little trip to the local grocery to stock up on brews for our family's long table gathering later. Lo and behold, as I passed ou iron gate my mom was shouting at me to run fast. I got in and she just thrust my sister's mobile into my ears...it was my brother on the line.

"I just got off the line with my agent and she already sent you the itenirary of your flight, FRIDAY - NEXT WEEK..." Whaaaat? That's the 11th right? I was ROBBED OF A DAY!!!

Worse, my flight's at 7:40PM which means I get to Changi around 11PM!!! What the hell?!?!?!

I feel like I just swallowed a big rock right now. I think I'll go and puke now...

"Riot!" now up!

It's Paramore's sophomore album aka "THE ONE THAT DOESN'T SUCK". I've been hearing their songs over the airwaves a lot recently so...enjoy guys! Misery Business is the only song I actually know...

(NOTE: For those not in the know, here's the 411, all my music uploads are in the MUSIC SECTION of course. Don't know where it is? Scroll up the page and look for the MUSIC tab between the VIDEO and CALENDAR tab. As for those who'll be reading this on my blogger page, please click on this LINK. I'll try to include this note in all my upload announcements from now on but absolutely no promises.)

"Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!" now up!

This is Hellogoodbye's first album. The band is more power pop and I usually don't listen to the genre but for some inexplicable reason, I really really like this album. If you also have the time, watch their music videos on YouTube, the videos are geeky in the cute, adorkable way! The band is also known for their unusually close relationships with their fans...amazing right?

(NOTE: For those not in the know, here's the 411, all my music uploads are in the MUSIC SECTION of course. Don't know where it is? Scroll up the page and look for the MUSIC tab between the VIDEO and CALENDAR tab. As for those who'll be reading this on my blogger page, please click on this LINK. I'll try to include this note in all my upload announcements from now on but absolutely no promises.)

"Phantoms" now up!

This is the only full length album by Acceptance. Really good. If you liked my Anberlin upload, you'll definitely love this band as well. Too band they've gone their separate ways and went on to perform for other bands that totally suck. Oh well, at least this one's a gem.

(NOTE: For those not in the know, here's the 411, all my music uploads are in the MUSIC SECTION of course. Don't know where it is? Scroll up the page and look for the MUSIC tab between the VIDEO and CALENDAR tab. As for those who'll be reading this on my blogger page, please click on this LINK. I'll try to include this note in all my upload announcements from now on but absolutely no promises.)

"Ten" now up!

Pearl Jam's first ever studio album and my all time favorite album of theirs. "Jeremy" is in this one and it rocks like hell. I'll upload the 320 kbps rip once I get my Pearl Jam CDs back. Enjoy people!

"Nevermind" now up!

I really don't think this album needs any further explanation right? Enjoy guys...

impending doom...

Yeah...so I finally got all my shit together and I'm just waiting for the sun to come out (tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar on...craaaaaap) so I could do my laundry. My mom was kind enough to hire someone to do my ironing. I'm gonna make sure she gets her money's worth cause I'm planning on having everyhting pressed. That should be done by next week.

We also made concessions about my baggage. We pretty much accepted the fact that I'll probably go over the baggage limit and decided to add a whole bag to what I'll carry so I'll have to pay extra for that.

I got the electric shavers I had my beady eyes on for the longest time. Goodbye razor burns and good riddance. I'm slowly completing my toiletry kit for when I leave.

And oh yeah...my phone's busted. It's acting all weird on me and since I don't have the time to go look for one, I'll be bringing along my busted shitty phone. Since, the iPhone isn't due out 'til a little later next year, I'll probably be getting a Blackberry there or anything with a full qwerty keypad.

In the meanwhile, I'm planning on uploading lots of cool stuff here. A wonderful friend of mine recently ripped me a good copy of his Nevermind (by Nirvana) album and it's wicked good. I also got new stuff from Boys Like Grils, Motion City Soundtrack, The Shins, Howie Day and Hellogoodbye. I'll upload them when I feel like it.

Happy Fucking Birthday...

I miss the days when I'm actually excited because it's my birthday...not being able to sleep the night before or being bombarded by text messages that flood in at the strike of midnight coming from friends and classmates who want to b e the first to greet you.

Well...I obviously didn't recieve the memo but apparently, those days are long gone.

I woke up at 4:30 AM to start my laundry. Yes, apparently, your dirty clothes won't wash itself even if it's your birthday. Then I got some leftover food from the fridge, nuked it and "et voila!" BREAKFAST! I fire up my notebook to find out my connection's still down (only to find out a few minutes ago that someone had physically disconnected the phone line from my modem!) and decided to just play games on it. My mom comes down a little past six and just asks what I'm doing up: "washing..." "ok...". Then walks into my room again at eigth to tell me she totally forgot it was my birthday. WOW...

I read messages from my sister greeting me. (I love her dearly...) She also told me she was bringing me home some nuggets. (At least she actually got me something I want...). Dad wakes up and greets me. (The only person I don't mind forgetting my birthday.)

I spend most of the day finishing my laundry, up until 1 in the afternoon. Skipped lunch. Then my dad walks in with one of his friends to brag about his huge ass LCD TV. Whatever...

He tells me to go out and buy drinks for him and his company. (Ouch much?!)

I just went out to cool off. I go in, sit and watch a DVD. Not 5 minutes into the film, mom hollers (from the second floor) at me (I'm downstairs) to get the telephone directory (from the third floor!) upstairs. Who wouldn't get mad...HONESTLY?!

I find out she's busy trying to make everything fixed for a cousin of mine who's going to be visiting the country (she lives in Australia). She has the time to worry about that but she's waaaay to busy to even prepare food.

She asks me about an hour ago to go out and buy food because she doesn't want to go out to the market because "she doesn't want to tire me out by asking me to cook dinner"...wow, considerate. I don't have to cook it, but I have to go out and buy it instead.

Somebody shoot me now...

another guilty pleasure...

Okay...so it seems I've been bitten by the Facebook bug as well. I've been toying around with the site for a few days now. It's just plain addicting. I dunno...it really does consume a big chunk of my time.

My browser is now set to open a bunch of sites automatically. There's Multiply (duh), Yahoo! mail (for spam because all my other addies are serviced through Outlook), Google Reader (for info and news), LastFM (to scope out new tunes because the iTunes store is up in my iTunes app), MySpace (for what it's worth), Facebook (new addition), MyGlobe cust service (just to make sure I'm not blindsided by 2-5k bills anymore), Windows Live, DList (secret...), and Wikipedia (it comes in handy every time!). I don't even bother opening Friendster anymore. It's sooo ten years ago!

ZOMG, I'm starting to digitize my whole life! I'm afraid I'll wake up one day stuck on the wrong side of the computer screen!

Fagnostic...

This is probably the first time I posted a video (or any form of media for that matter...) alluding to a subsequent post. I posted Jay Brannan's "Goddamned" as sort of an intro (if you would) to my ramblings.

I've been dealing with some deep shit recently. I mean with the boatloads of idle time I have, who wouldn't be pushed into making phiosophical discourses with their inner being?! LOL!!! I've always had questions about my faith (for those not on the down-low, I was born into a Roman Catholic family and was thus baptised without much preamble) and all these questions have snowballed into the very scary (and sinful...yes, in the biblical sense) five letter word - "D O U B T". People who question their faith and who actually try to think for themselves have always been negatively labeled by the church (if not outright classified as apocryphal...). We have "doubting" Thomas and whatnots.

It all began with my pure unadulterated fear of death. I kept on thinking why I was so afraid of dying. So I kinda realized that I was (and still am) terrified of dying and finding out (although I don't know how I would find out) that there is no God. I fear death being the end of everything. I don't want to cease existing and the usual solution doesn't do anything for me. Unlike the egotistical bastards of yore who sought to immortalize themselves through their acts of conquest or even by their breakthroughs, I am not satisfied by merely knowing that I will be remembered. No, I want to go on living...EXISTING. I don't fear mediocrity and being rendered invisible. I fear losing all sensation.

I guess most people would hold on to their beliefs and gods tighter after thoughts like these. But I had a different reaction. I want to find out how to stay alive and not any of that BS about putting myself to cryogenic rest until people discover the secret of immortality (although that would be sweet). I never want to die. So I promptly started introspecting and discovered that I had no strong belief in the christian faith to begin with. So it goes without saying that if the christian god were the true god, there is simply no way in hell he'd reward me with salvation, eternal life and all that jazz. The catholic faith has so many holes in it that none of its arguements hold water.

I immediately thought of myself as being an atheist but I couldn't force myself to believe in the non-existence of a higher power. That just simply meant life is a one-shot thing and I could bring myself to swallow that pill. So being agnostic is working out for me quite nicely these days. I simply accept that there are things that we are not meant to know. I'm appeasing myself with such an asian philosophy. Accepting things as they are and not questioning, simply experiencing. I'm consantly having to mentally berate myself for wanting to dissect everything (the western approach) and digest every single morsel of knowedge I come accross.

Living like this is not only painful but it's turning out to be an empty existence as well. I am materialistic and am not afraid to admit so. My love for sensation and all things physical and material have made me a head case. A person who is afraid to accept anything vague. I want it underlined, highlighted and annotated. It's sickening...I KNOW.

xoxo
-Jowee

Jay Brannan - Goddamned

I want to start of this tirade on a positive note. I just finished watching the film Shortbus (please refer to my "review" section for more info and NO. I'M NOT UPLOADING THE FILM HERE.) Jay Brannan just interested me so much. I hated his character Ceth (pronounced "Seth") until he sang...DAMN IT! His voice was haunting. Up until now, he's in my head.

I'm currently questioning my faith (what elese is new?) and I'm glad I took the time to listen to this particular song.

For those interested, please visit Jay Brannan's website. And yeah, he's openly gay...THANK GOD! For all the haters out there, please drop dead...really...JUST...DROP...DEAD!!!

E-Bullying at its worst...Homophobia in Halo online play

This was posted a Towleroad and the clip just makes me want to puke. Rednecks apparently have infested XBox Live as well. Props to GayBoy for his patience and for not backing down from this haters.

Christian zealots on the move again...

I recently received an email calling for a boycott of the Golden Compass movie and the "His Dark Materials" series of books it's based on. I'll post the entire email here without any email addresses of course...together with my reply. I'll leave everything untouched. I even reread my respnse and found some typos and missing words but I'll leave it as it is.








Have you read the books? I don't agree with this completely.

Although the series of books depict a certain "church" as the enemy, it doesn't refer to THE church. In my opinion the book expresses the oppression of certain religions. Just like when Ruta Skadi said that the church tries it's best to suppress our natural impulses and when it can't cuts it off. That isn't entirely wrong. For all the church's glory, it isn't infallible. If we're comparing this to the christian church, the SAME church that killed thousands of Muslims during the Crusades. The SAME church that believed slavery was acceptable. The SAME sexist church who never places women in position of honor and power. The SAME church where early popes were lechers and would be emperors who decided wars and the fate of nations. The same church that DID NOT defend against racism until the revolution. For all it's glory, the church isn't infallible and this is what the book sets out to expose.

The killing of a god who has come astray does not culture atheism, it only teaches the people who read the books to start learning for themselves. Some of us grow up blind to real theology. Being born Christian is not exactly a good starting point. When you grow up christian, you grow up with so much religious bias that your faith starts to blind you from the questions that should be asked.

Regarding the books being a slight at CS Lewis, have you guys tried to discern the hidden plots in all seven books of the CHronicles of Narnia? CS Lewis is a racist and a chauvinist pig to boot! He just writes so well and expresses the teachings of a single, all-powerful and benevolent god that we all think he's christian and he's good. Stupid much?

I'm not saying kids should throw away their fate but if god intended us to truly have freedom and free will then aren't we supposed to make the choice ourselves? If religion...or christianity to be exact, is the only way to salvation then I pity all the children who die of hunger in Africa all day. The same kids who die unbaptised and without ever hearing the so-called good news of god. What happens to them then? Do they get straight down to hell? Do they get thrown in limbo? Just because they were unfortunate enough to be born in a continent that did not INTEREST the Spanish missionaries as it did the Philippines?

What "His Dark Materials" is aiming at is the pride and pretentiousness of todays religions. Saying they are the only way to salvation. If this is the case, then we only have to look at the statisitcs and we could all eliminate a lot of people who wouldn't be going to heaven. This is the exact reason I personally frown upon christians who cringe everytime they hear the word "Jihad". Are they so stupid that they didn't know the sins of their forefathers when Knights sought out to kill every single Muslim during the Crusades? I believe that religion is important but the church is for the weak. We should all read the bible or Koran or whatever, and learn stuff our own way. We should stay away from being force-fed censored truths about what is good and not. The church for all it's glory is made up of humans as well. Humans who are bound to make mistakes. It's just that when the Pop makes a mistake, we can all say that "godd intended it so..."...MY FOOT! I believe in a god it's just not the god the the church portrays. I couldn't bring myself to worship a god who drowned out an entire population during the great flood just because they were sinners and then goes and sends HIS son to preach about love and forgiveness. Please...that is just too much hypocrisy for me to stomach.

So go out and read the books then maybe, just maybe, we all start to ask the difficult questions that should be asked. I don't pretend to know the reasons behind this email but it certainly comes from a standpoint lacking in evidence. The world has bigger problems than a movie and a series of books that may actually promote progressive thinking.

Thanks!
Joey Sta. Agueda
(0917)5777491

----- Original Message ----
Sent: Sunday, November 25, 2007 5:34:01 AM
Subject: [wamu4d] The Golden Compass

Subject: Fwd: book & movie boycott

For anyone with kids, grandkids other relatives or friends who this may concern, I have checked it out at snopes.com and it is true. http://www.snopes. com/politics/ religion/ compass.asp

There will be a new children's movie out in December called "The Golden Compass" starring Nicole Kidman. The movie has been described as "atheism for kids" and is based on the first book of a trilogy entitled "His Dark Materials" that was written by Phillip Pullman. Pullman is a militant atheist and secular humanist who despises C. S. Lewis and the "Chronicles of Narnia". His motivation for writing this trilogy was specifically to counteract Lewis' symbolisms of Christ that are portrayed in the Narnia series.

Clearly, Pullman 's main objective is to bash Christianity and promote atheism. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "my books are about killing God." He has even stated that he wants to "kill God in the minds of children". It has been said of Pullman that he is "the writer the atheists would be praying for, if atheists prayed."

While "The Golden Compass" movie itself may seem mild and innocent, the books are a much different story. In the trilogy, a young streetwise girl becomes enmeshed in an epic struggle to ultimately defeat the oppressive forces of a senile God. Another character, an ex-nun, describes Christianity as "a very powerful and convincing mistake." In the final book, characters representing Adam and Eve eventually kill God, who at times is called YAHWEH. Each book in the trilogy gets progressively worse regarding Pullman 's hatred of Jesus Christ.

"The Golden Compass" is set to premier on December 7, during the Christmas season, and will probably be heavily advertised. Promoters hope that unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the movie, that they will enjoy the movie, and that the children will want the books for Christmas.

Please consider a boycott of the movie and the books. Also, pass this information along to everyone you know. This will help to educate parents, so that they will know the agenda of the movie.

Gen

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God" - John 14:1

Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger .yahoo.com

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four eyes...again...

It might have not been the smartest thing to do but refusing to wear my prescription glasses has finally caught up to me. Where there used to be lenses for farsighted vision, now there are lenses for BOTH farsightedness and nearsightedness. Damn it! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!

I can't even describe how loopy it feels to adjust to bifocals. I'm scared of going down flights of stairs...my depth perception is shot to hell. Whatever... The only good thing tha tcame out of this whole ordeal was I got to buy new glasses. I got progressive lenses because I'd die if I got one of those bifocals where you could clearly see where each type of lens ends and where the other one begins...giant EEEEEW!

Now, I just refuse to look down. I still have quite a ways to go before I'm 100% with the lens grade below my field of vision. I seldom use it...only when I read books. It's also nice to know there IS a thing called Computer Screen Syndrome...obviously, I'm a statistic now. I have it, yes and it sucks...BIG TIME!

Where you would usually have a single grade for your prescription lenses. I have effing three grades!!! One for far stuff, one for reading and one for when I'm in front of the PC (which, incidentally is the thing I spend most time on next to sleeping). I almost decided to get the transition ones, which change color with the amount of sunlight or harsh light present, but nah...I didn't the black shade of the thing. Besides, I'm a big fan of sunnies.

Top 11 Reasons Why Gay Mariage Is UnAmerican...

I got this off the net (somewhere) yesterday and I just remembered I had it tonight.

I'm sure that it seems like it doesn't need to be said, but for the benefit of our readers from overseas who don't read/speak English as a first language or are using a translator like Babelfish, this post is 100% sarcastic.

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

11. Gay marriage is icky and uncomfortable for “decent” people. Therefore it should be outlawed just like porn, scary movies, most TV news coverage, almost every CSI episode and many books.

yesiree...blogging away...

It seems like I've been bitten by the blog-bug yet again. I find myself sitting in front of my notebook for longer hours on end these days. I do nothing but surf and play my tunes loud...loud enough to drown out everything I don't want to hear.

I've stopped packing for the meanwhile just because I don't want to have to close my big luggage just yet...I don't think I'm ready for that sense of finality.

In the meanwhile, I've been reading up on Singapore. How rich the country is, how happy the people are, how good the schools are, how high their literacy rate is, how much they spend on their military, how they heavily fine and/or imprison bloggers (on account of "sedition"), how they publicly cane people for sodomy (well, only gay people now since heteros can now legally sodomize the hell out of each other)...wait, I forgot what point I was trying to make.

Oh, I remember...I'M FUCKING SCARED.

Yeah, that's right. At first I was just worried being fined hundreds of bucks for smoking, SO I QUIT; and being fined for litering, WHICH I NEVER DO...but apparently, having an opinion is not THAT welcome in that country either. Hmmm...so what now? I have to open a new account and post boring stuff that would threaten to end my sanity and just post the good stuff everytime I come home...at whopping six month intervals!!! - if I'm lucky...

I think I'll miss democracy more than I'll miss my family. Sure, they tell me it's going to be fine. "Just look at your brother, he's been there for years and nothing bad has ever happened to him." HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT BLOGGING IS!!! Damn it! Blogging is starting to paint me as the black sheep in this family. How fucking crazy is that?!

I just fear ending up saying "MY BROTHER IS NOT A PIG" complete with the Nora Aunor accent before being handed over for the death sentence...it's funny right now but I bet it will be anything BUT when you're there.

the pink elephant...

I feel trapped. There are things I'd like to tell my family. Things that I had no problem telling my friends. Secrets that I wholeheartedly divulged to my workmates.

They say the truth will set you free but for me, the truth is a festering wound that threatens to kill me by slowly rotting away until my whole body is rendered useless. I always thought that staying away from my blog ought to give me more control over my emotions. That by refusing to vent, I, in turn am effectively making the issue non-existent...hence the title of this post.

For those of you with half a brain, you probably know by now what I want to tell my parents. It's "up" there somewhere...trust me. I can't imagine telling my parents but I dread leaving them behind without them knowing. This is it, my plan. To get out of this house and to never return. To go to a place where my inner self could "bloom"...yet another clue for the dimwits who haven't figured it out up until now.

(If you're readaing this and still don't have a clue what I'm talking about...don't read on. And grow a brain...I heard it's a very important organ to have.)

Impending change has an uncanny way of making you want to tie off loose ends. I just want peace. I want effing closure. Is that too much to ask for?

"IV" now up!

Come hither Led Zeppelin fans and rejoice! Here's IV, which is, in my opinion, the best Led Zeppelin album EVER!!!

"Kerplunk" now up!

I totally spazzed out and didn't notice that the upload was complete. My baaaaaad...but what the heck. It's there now! Here's the cover to go with it for you people (like me) who are obsessed with making sure iTunes is complete...album cover and all.

I might be uploading other stuff today but it all depends. I'm kinda swamped at the moment but it seems like things are bound to get finished soon. I'm thinking about uploading albums by Toad the Wet Sprocket...what do you guys think?

uploading "Kerplunk"...

While I was checking in to see my page I saw a request via one of my album uploads for older albums of Green Day.

"ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE!"...I say.

The only widely available album I know of that's older than Dookie is Kerplunk. I, of course, haven gotten my dirty hands on a copy of 39/Smooth as of yet but time will tell...

The new album should be up in a few. Album art will be posted together with the "finished upload" announcement. Stay cool people!