world wide weirdness (WWW)

A new segment that will hopefully cut my daily posts to a handful. Instead of separate posts, I'll leave links to interesting things I found in the world wide web. This is done specifically to give me the option to reroute you instead of posting let's say a NSFW item...which could spell disaster for my page.

• Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado learns not to get drunk on live TV (Big Brother-esque) and end up sleeping with the ugliest guy in the house. (Listen to her moans during the act...hilarious!)
• Ronaldinho goes with the trend of sportsmen showing off thier bulges in public. (Infectious song...I must say.)
• "Used Panties" available in Vending Machines?!?!?! WTF?! (The Japanese prove time and time again how too much technology could be a bad thing...)
• Finally, want to see what happens when a giant and a midget get together? Watch this. (Totally disturbing...again, freaky Japanese...)
  

WTF?! What in tarnation are they trying to sell?

Novak Djokovic ever the performer...

Hotness! He can't sing to save his life but who cares?! He has balls! AND at least like any self-respecting sportsman, he actually takes off his shirt when he wins...unlike those PRUDES!!!

PSP news update (more pics!!!)

Apparently the folks at T3 are blessed enough to get a sample of the redesigned PSP before actual production. They have been nice enough to post lots of images online and even fill in some blanks left by Kaz Hirai's announcement yesterday.

New info:

• The infrared port has been removed. (I actually haven't used that port...EVER)
• The WiFi switch is now where the infrared port was before. (at the top near the USB slot)
• You can now charge your PSP via USB connection (GOD! FINALLY...)
• There is no longer a lock mechanism for the UMD slot. Instead of popping open when you hit the switch you now have to manually pull the cover away from the main unit. (Okay...a little scary but I'm sure it isn't as bad as it sounds...) The removal of the locking mechanism was one of the main reasons behind the slimmer design.
• Game loading was improved by allowing game data to be temporarily saved from the UMD, much like how the PS2 and PS3 works. (Remember ejecting a PS2 cd and the game still goes on for a little while longer?)
• The 64Mb memory is not usable, it's there for the "faster loading" gimmick...(sigh...)
• Upon release these PSPs will have the latest firmwares installed and gossip is circulating about an improved motherboard that makes downgrading near impossible.

P.S. Looks like they finally put a latch on the battery cover. Thank goodness! I always had trouble with the slide-y mechanism of the first one!

LastFM.com - the Social Music Revolution

Have you ever found yourself wanting to listen to new musical acts without deviating from your favorite genre? Well here's a good solution...LastFM.com!

See you there! Visit my page and let's see how similar our tastes in music are. Look for joey.sta.agueda@gmail.com!

who needs an iPhone when...

You've got the Bona-Phone?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!



For those seriously considering buying this...ummm..."contraption", click HERE for details.

Shemar Moore captured frolicking in Gay Beach!

This soap star is sooooooo BUSTED!!! Click HERE for NSFW (aka uncensored) pics.

new dance moves everyone should learn...

(Author's note: Don't give me shit about being cruel or rude...I'm pretty hefty myself but I still dance...it's just I do it within the safety of my room AWAY FROM RECORDING EQUIPMENT!)

EMO...so funny...it hurts...

Katherine McPhee - "Lover Story" video

All I can say is...KATHERINE MCPHEE IS FREAKIN' HOT!!!!



A lot of people may criticize her for the Beyonce-esque video, dancing, and sound but personally, I'd say "you go girl!" teach the world it doesn't take a screen hogging hug-assed diva to do it like that!

Also, I'm afraid that K-Fed is spreading like an infectious disease...is that hime I see in there?

cheating the RapidShare wait...

Enjoy RapidShare, but hate waiting 45 seconds to download a files since you are not a registered member? The 45 second wait does nothing but try to convince you to become a member. Here is an easy way to bypass that.

Click on the download link that is sent to you and get to the RapidShare site. Once they tell you that you have to wait 45 seconds and the counter starts, copy the code below into the address bar of your browser and press Enter:

javascript:alert(c=0)

Then you’ll get a javascript alert panel, click OK and your download will start immediately.

PSP news update (with pics!!!) and some PS3 news as well...

Here are a few pictures to tide over the couple of months wait for the new PSP "re-designed models".

This is the Core Pack which comes in signature "piano black" redesigned PSP, package will include slimmer battery unit and basic charger. ($169.99 SRP!!!)



This is the Daxter bundle which comes with a limited edition "ice silver" redesigned PSP and comes with the Daxter game UMD and the Family Guy" The Freakin' Sweet Collection video UMD AND a 1Gb Memory Stick Duo!!! (Septemebr 10 release!!! First official release date of the new PSP!!!)



This is the Star Wars Battlefront bundle which come with a limited edition (previously a Japan exclusive color) "ceramic white" redesigned PSP with a silk-screened image of Darth Vader on the back panel redesigned PSP and a Star Wars Battlefront UMD (October 9 release!)



Here's a look at all systems. I mean the closest I have right now...



Also, previously unreleased specs of the redesigned PSP:

• actual weight is 1/2 lbs. !!!
• only 3/4 inch thick!!!
• new PSP will have 64Mb of system memory!
• video out capabilites will allow players to output games to external displays up to 480 x 272 pixels resolution only BUT movies will be available at full standard-definition resolution on any progressive scan TV.

140 new game titles slated for this fiscal year!!!

Also, the original PSP models have been given $30 price cuts throughout the market!

Finally...some PS3 news as well. Beginning August, a new 80Gb Sony PS3 will be available with a suggested retail price of $599. Additionally, a new price was announced for the existing 60Gb PS3 model. Effective immediately, North American consumers can purchase the 60Gb model for only $499 which is a whopping $100 cheaper than the original price!!!!!!!!!

(***Note: all dates included in this post refer to North American releases as per SCE of America or SCEA announcements.)

On a personal note: I'm confused...I don't know which PSP to get. The ceramic white one like my current PSP or the ice silver one...hmmmm...

new improved PSP model confirmed!!!

We all know the magic that always happens at Electronics Entertainment Expo (E3) and have come to expect the fireworks that are sure to erupt during the expo.

During Sony's E3 Press Conference, Kaz Hirai, newly appointed SCE president, announced the ongoing development of a new PSP which:

• is 33% lighter
• 19% thinner
• has a more efficient battery
• has faster loading time for games
• also has the ability to output hi-quality videos (to TV?, monitor?) by pressing the display button (good for playing UMDs on the big screen: both games and video)

Colors and special promotional packages have been announced for North America and Japan already but still no news for the rest of the world. The only solid information released is that the new PSP will be avialable to North American consumers this coming October.

F1 scandals galore...

Okay...so Ferrari IS suing a senior at the Williams team for "stealing" sensitive technical information from the team...and said senior member has already been suspended.

Also, Christian Albers has been dropped from the Spyker team due to "financial reasons" and he is contemplating legal action against the team. Meanwhile, Christian Klien is on call for the test drives at Spa although when questioned, he says he isn't Albers' replacement...yet. The list for Albers' possible replacements is indeed long but some of the drivers HAVE shown interest and have been keen to publicly say so.

Harry Potter warning...

So I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix yesterday...it was such a disappointment. Well, it should be expected, after siting through Transformers all the while grabbing the sides of m seats 'til my knuckles turned white and oohing and ahhing while watching Die Hard 4.0, I kinda knew even while the previews were being screened that this wasn't going to cut it.

For those of you who haven't watched the coolest moview of summer, I really suggest watching Harry Potter first before viewing the other movies. It was such a rip-off...I'll see how much better it is on IMAX. Oh well, if 2D can't hack it, I don't know why the 3D version should be any different.

summer blockbuster extravaganza...

Okay...there's no point in telling you guys how cool Transformers is or how epic Pirates was...and not forgetting to mention how tragic Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and Spider-Man 3 were.

I want to talk about the other movies. Okaaaay...Live Free or Die Hard 4.0 might not be exactly one of those "others" but it was just waaaaay to cool. Bruce Willis (my fave daddy figure out there) deals with technology this time and just how pretty can Maggie Q get? Hmmm...not sure on that one.

There's also Shooter featuring Mark Wahlberg and his *ehem* big guns (aka his big bulging biceps) and although I'll confess that it's quite "Bourne Identity-ish", I liked it because he was no uber freak like Bourne. He actually needed a side-kick!!!

I'll spill the beans on the new Harry Potter later on. I have tickets to go see it later and I've bought tickets for Thursday night to get the IMAX experience...we'll see if it's worth the extra dough I shelled out.

After all this action hoopla, I'm looking forward to the conedies and dramas. Hmmm...I can't wait for Chris Pine and Adam Brody to grace the silver screen in their upcoming movies.

the wonders of bureaucracy...

In my quest to spread my wings (and fly, butterfly...YUCK...EEEEWWW...I can't believe I typed that in!) to attempt to leave the nest (aka: my home) and find my own way, a horrendous secret of mine surfaced and is now haunting me BIG TIME! Unbeknownst to most people save my family and closest friends, I was born with an ugly secret...AN UGLY NAME!!!

"Jose Rey Hernandez Sta. Agueda"...I know...EEEEWW TO THE NTH DEGREE!!!

So my parents saw the error of their ways...and...corrected my birth certificate themselves!!! JUST USING CORRECTION FLUID!!! How stuuuuuuuuuupid is that?! So all my legal documents except my birth certificate are addressed to "Joseph Rey Hernandez Sta. Agueda".

So I had to use my right to have my name changed (allowable once in my country) to have everything ironed out. This includes having your new name printed in a newspaper, announcing the change. There's also a public hearing (which I didn't attend) and a looooooong trip to the National Statistics Office in East Avenue. I did everything and I discover that I can only get the new birth certificate on the 25th!!!

I could've just puckered up and used my real name but then I wouldn't be able to apply for a job in SIngapore since the names on my passport and diploma won't match. If I only planned on visiting the country for pleasure...sure, no problem...BUT I'm moving there to work remember???

*sigh* my feet hurt right now...but I'll live...and I'm really thankful for the MRT ride (only the second of my life!!!) for reasons people will never know (wink, wink) HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll just tell a select few why the MRT rides made up for the harrowing experience...

returning to what I once considered "home"...

It feels nice to actually sit down and type something to update my blog. I honestly missed my seemingly unending fascination with cyberspace and whoring my personal life to anyone who might give a damn.

Truth is, I did a lot of growing up these past few days...my BIG decision acting as a catalyst for the change, the mix ignited by my passion to make it in life, complicated by having to say the right things to the right people, and tempered by recent "unfortunate" and "personal" events. I no longer feel compelled to air my dirty laundry with abandon...but I still plan on keeping my online journl of sorts. Instead of hating everyone and everything I plan to start understanding more stuff more often.

I'm planning on leaving after my sister's birthday on August 13th but it's beginning to look impossible. It's almost like...at the speed I'm going, I'll be out of the country even before July ends. No prolonged goodbyes here nor are there any "despedidas" planned for that matter. It's just going to be me, a HUGE change, and my (what will hopefully be a positive...) reaction to said change.

I fully intend to keep in touch from my little apartment in Singapore and to share my experiences to people "who give a damn"...

some things are better left unsaid...

Wow! Ten days of blogless existence...I never thought I could go that long. I found myself at a loss these past days. I had nothing to share. Sure there was a lot of content I could share with everyone but the need to reach out and communicate wasn't there.

All around the world Pride Marches were happening but I wasn't even slightly interested. I've gotten gigabytes worth of music but still, no compelling need to broadcast and share. Definitely a weird week...

Not that there's a huge gaping hole in my being right now...it's just that I've been pretty "preoccupied" with goings-on in my own life.My brother and his wife arrived last Friday as scheduled which pretty much meant I had another fresh bottle of perfume to add to the collection. Honestly, I was hoping he'd come home with a new laptop but it's ok. I kinda knew it wasnigh impossible...I mean after the huge expenses covering the house and everything. Oh! And the house! The new floor is finished and my sister and my brother now have new rooms. Bad news is, my room was left in shambles (read this: UNINHABITABLE) and it seems there's no pressing need to fix it...and people say I'm the "favorite"...idiots!

For those concerned, I think it's quite obvious that I've kept mum about the whole "me leaving and all" schtik. YES...the answer is YES...I am leaving after all. It might be a little later as was originally planned. I'm not leaving with my brother on the first...yeah, he's only staying a week. Due to some problems concerning my passport, I still have to wait a few more weeks.

My brother also told me to apply for an employment pass that's good for (get this) ONE YEAR!!! WTF?!?!?! I think he plans on having me cook for him and do his laundry for a whole year! The good news is, I'll be there in time for January when the companies usually hold massive hirings. Also, we already checked a few companies and we already have a list of jobs I might want to consider. The best part of this whole ordeal is, I discovered that my brother actually gives a damn. We saw multiple job listings that I'm qualified for, except the whole "2-5 years experience" part but he told me to pick out positions from a list of departments. I was dumbfounded at first but I later discovered that he knew the managers in those departments and he could actually get me the job without much preamble...NICE!!!

He's also quite adamant that I try to get into his functional group first. That way, he could keep an eye on me and no one would give me much grief lest they incur the wrath of my brother...who happens to be quite the higher-up. So it's nice to know some people give a shit about my future. All that remains is to get new luggage (I want really chic bags) and a few semi-formal to formal outfits and I'm gone.

I might not be able to post much in the following weeks but I'll try to update my friends as much as possible.

you never make them touch!!!

BOOOOOSSSS!!! BOOOOOOOSSSSSSS!!!

Gummy Bear song

Damn...song...stuck...in...my head! Can't stop...singing...devil song...

let's learn Engrish!

Cool way to learn a new language...BY MUSCLE MEMORY!!!

Bastards of the Beat will be up in a few...

I'm sharing another album today! Yipee for my contacts!

I decided to put up Bastards of the Beat from a little known band called The Damnwells. I've been very vocal about enjoying pinano rock and these guys should be the poster boys for the genre. Their sound varies from the usual melancholy and outright serious songs to very lyrical tracks about very amusing topics.

If any of you enjoyed my last upload, the album by Augustana, you'll definitely like this one!

another guilty pleasure...

Over the holidays, I got seriously ribbed by my cousins from Perth when I stupidly blurted out I actually watched and like...a few..."choice"...Aussie soaps. There's McLeod's Daughters (talk about overproduction of estrogen!) and Home and Away (they rode my back hard on this one!) just to name a few.

I recently stumbled upon another soap with Austatsic vibes! I got hooked on All Saints...no, not the girly band but a soap on the Australia Network. Don't you just love cable? Hahahahaha.

It's like the Aussie version of ER, Chicago Hope...Grey's Anatomy (ok...that might be pushing it too far) and it's actually good. I haven't gotten the show times to a t yet, but I'll start jotting down specific times I'm able to catch the show on the telly.

Here's the current cast...I guess my fave character (the med intern) didn't make it to the current season....

finally...

What was supposed to take a few minutes took the better part of the day!!! I made a humongous booboo earlier. While I was uploading the tracks from Twelve Stops and Home, I accidentally overloaded my antiquated laptop and the poor thing crashed!

It's all good now and the album is up for my contacts to listen to and hawk (aka "pirate") to their heart's content!

I'm feeling...The Feeling!

Yeah...I know! I just couldn't help myself...

I know I'm about a couple of decades late, but I'm jumping on the british invasion bandwagon. It seems like I've recently cultivated an inkling for britpop. Perhaps the band I've fallen head over heels for the most is The Feeling.

They're more playful than the Arctic Monkeys, does not induce melancholia like Keane, doesn't bring me to sleep like an overdose of Feeder, has a good moral fiber (LOL) unlike Oasis, easier to understand than Paolo Nutini, and aren't geriatric like The Beatles! There's also the widely known fact that theie lead singer, Dan Gillespie Sells, is openly gay! So they've got practically everything I look for in a band.

I'm uploading their first full length album, Twelve Stops and Home. It should be up in a few. Here's to sharing their music and hoping you guys like them too...CHEERS!

AMEN! so true...

Here's a very factual ad from the makers of Guinness...



Now who could disagree...huh?! Most women would've gotten up and left or nagged the hell out of their boyfriends or husbands!

Augustana...their time has come

Piano Rock...well...ummm...ROCKS!!!

My boys from Greenville, Illinois have finally arrived! I really appreciate the presence of bands such as The Fray, Snow Patrol, Keane, Coldplay, and Augustana. Their music tugs at your heartstrings and you find yourself warped into their melancholy mindset.

I've been following this band for a couple of years now and I'm surprised that they're just getting their just desserts recently. In celebration of their success, I'm posting their first album, which they released before they got signed by Epic Records. The album is entitled "Midwest Skies and Sleepless Mondays" and features ten of the most heartfelt tracks I've ever heard (think "Daphne Loves Derby") and it has become a staple in my iPod. It's actually racked a formidable play count which, I'm sure, will be followed by their recent release "All The Stars and Boulevards.

Their first album should be up in a couple of minutes for my contacts. I really urge you guys to listen to their music. If you like it, head on to iTunes to purchase "All The Stars and Boulevards" to support the band. They only released 1,000 copies of the album I'm uploading so it's a real treat!

If you need more convincing, just watch this video. They recently performed this song, "Boston" in Ellen and Late Night with David Letterman.

iPhone (drools...)

Well Apple released 30 second clips introducing (officially...) the iPhone to the waiting US market. Note that at the end of all the clips, the June 29 release date is shown!!! Yum!

twins...twice the yum, twice the fun!

NEMESIS...is the duo of Jacob and Joshua. Jacob and Joshua Miller are identical twins from Montana and they're set out to carve a niche for themselves in the music industry. They're openly gay and sooo in LA. If you yearn for yummy poptarts then they will surely float your boat! Nemesis is the perfect mix of catchy tunes, skin, muscle, smoldering good looks, perfect teeth...what was my point again?

Here's what they sound like and look like when their hot bodies are moving. This is their first single "Number One in Heaven".



Oh, and for those who give a damn, Jacob's the bleached blond and Joshua's the pretty brunette.


I'm so putting an advance order for their upcoming album: Nemesis: Rising

clarity...

My parents threw a curve ball at me last night. It all started when my dad was having his dinner. Since, we don't get to eat together often nowadays, he was having it late. He usually finishes other stuff up in the new floor even after the workers have gone. So I was just lounging around in our sofa (I've transformed the living room into my new HQ...for the meantime) just surfing away and probably chatting up Mich when the topic of my impending departure came up. For those who have gone to the trouble of reading my blog these past couple of years (the blogger account) would definitely know that my dad and I don't enjoy the most "close" relationship. So imagine my surprise when he said: "If you go, we'll miss your cooking." It was a really simple thought but somewhat of a giant step (leaps and bounds if I may...) in terms of our relationship.

Later on that night in my parents' room (I'm sleeping there in the meanwhile...I can't use the A/C in my room yet) I was telling my mom that I spent much of the day surfing the net for tips on how to get my hair done. I was fussing over possible styles that I could get when I have my locks cut. She segwayed by using my friend Walter's hair as an example. She told me to cut it to that length (I was surprised because Walter had longish hair as well before) and just tuck my locks behind my ear when I want to look more professional. On the other hand, my hair would still be long enough for me to tie back. So we enjoyed a few minutes silence after that. Thanks, in large part to the steamed buns (siopao) we were eating.

Then, out of nowhere, my mother blurts out: "I don't want you to leave. You don't need a high paying job anyways. We manage to get along just fine with what we have. You could even return to the call center industry if nothing good comes along." I honestly didn't know what to say. The past few weeks she was all but ready to pack my stuff for me and chuck me out our door! Then she completely blindsides me with such a comment. I mean...WHAT THE FUCK?! It was also worth noting that my dad was totally agreeing with my mother!!!

She went on to say that I should be happy because if I don't go, then I get to keep my hair in its current length. COME ON...it's just hair. Yeah, I'll be the first to tell you that having my hair cut does, in fact, suck big time but I've always planned to grow it back once I get a steady job!

My mind went to overdrive last night. I just had to speak with someone. So I sent an SOS to Mich. After she didn't reply for a few minutes, I thought she was busy or (as usual, just like back in college) she had no credits (Mich, honestly, you're 22...GET A POST-PAID PLAN!!! LOL) so I SMSed the next person that I though of. Jana (an old officemate of mine) replied promptly and told me that my mom probably had an epiphany of sorts and realized how much she'll miss me.

My point is this, up until now, everyone has been progressing with their own agenda. No really gave a thought to what I MIGHT WANT...but apparently, my own parents don't even give a damn about my future as well. We all know that our parents won't be with us forever. What happens to me when my parents have gone? I'd be left with a mediocre job and wanting...NO, NEEDING support from other people. It looks to me like they're willing to sacrifice good working opportunities just to hold on to me for a few more years. Don't get me wrong, if I had no dire need to leave I really wouldn't. But after I've gone through the PROs and CONs it really looks like this Singapore trip might reap good rewards.

What happens now? I'm screwed over...SERIOUSLY. I had a long chat with Mich the entire day (I wonder if she even got work done today...) and just vented. I'm more confused now than when this whole ordeal started. Dilemma? That's a massive understatement. I don't know who to listen to anymore.

go Obama go!!!

June 01, 2007, CHICAGO , IL-- U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) today released the following statement to commemorate Pride Month.

"Pride Month is a reminder that while we have come a long way since the Stonewall riots in 1969, we still have a lot of work to do."

"Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans. It's about whether this nation is going to live up to its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect."

"It's time to turn the page on the bitterness and bigotry that fill so much of today's LGBT rights debate. The rights of all Americans should be protected -- whether it's at work or anyplace else. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" needs to be repealed because patriotism and a sense of duty should be the key tests for military service, not sexual orientation. Civil unions should give gay couples full rights. And those who commit hate crimes should be punished no matter whether those crimes are committed on account of race, religion, gender identity, or sexual orientation."

"This Pride Month, let's make our founding promise of equality a reality for every American."

non sequitur...

Everything I have done...all the preparations I planned...ARE ALL FOR NOTHING.

Yes, I will be leaving. That much is certain. How I feel about it is of no importance. All that matters is...IT SHALL COME TO PASS.

The words of support from family and friends, messages from well-wishers, and expressions of sadness from people I'll leave behind...AMOUNT TO NOTHING.

Hair that I grew and conscientiously took care of for two years...WILL BE CUT IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.

Personal style, my favored piercings, and my favorite clothes...WILL ALL GIVE WAY TO A MORE PROFESSIONAL LOOK.

My days of 24-hour blogging, incessant chat with friends...WILL STOP.

Evrything I've become used to, all the things that make me happy...MEAN NOTHING NOW.

EVERYTHING IS INSIGNIFICANT.

NOTHING IS CONNECTED TO THE PAST.

WHAT I WAS ONCE SHALL CEASE TO EXIST.

I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A MACHINE PROGRAMMED TO FOLLOW ORDERS AND TO GARNER SUCCESS FOR MY MASTERS.

the here and now...

I got really heavy news earlier. Van, my trusty Intel insider, informed me that apparently, salary offers were going to be given to candidates that have been identified for the positions I applied for. Since I didn't get a call from Intel telling me to report to the factory and bring my shiny pen to sign my contract, it is only logical to assume that I did not get the job.

This also means that I really am leaving the country...for two months at least. Edissa, my brother's wife, coincidentally was here when I got the news from Van. Edissa was packing her bags for her short trip to Singapore to fetch her PR papers. It is safe to assume then that by around 7 PM tonight, my brother would be aware of the news.

My mind is now in overdrive.

I'm thinking about what I'll do with my long hair.

Should I keep my piercings?

I should probably try to lose as much weight as I can before July...

I'm going to buy new slacks and long-sleeved crisp polos, lots of polo shirts...proper shoes.

I wish I could be one of the characters I read in books. You know? When something dreadful happens they just go on auto-pilot? I can't do that. I have to think of everything I have to do between now and July.

escaping the inevitable...

I've come to understand the fear that has tormented me these past few days. At first I thought it was just a wholesome amount of apprehension towards the possibility of me leaving my home. Then it grew to a feeling of guilt and shame due to my inability to secure my own future and to stray from my parents' finanvial support only to be lead straight to eating off of my brothers palm. After came a sense of loss. I feared being away from my friends. I did not want to face the fact that I'll most probably face problems abroad on my own. I've come to terms about how much a crutch my parents have been for me all these years. I've been limping along my entire life when I had two good feet and strong legs to start with...

I've now just realized that what I truly fear is the decision I must make. Sure I feel all of the things I mentioned above but all those feelings are consequential fears. They have yet to come to pass or they may not even happen at all. What scares the living daylights out of me is having to make the decision that might lead to the fruition of the aforementioned fears.

This epiphany came to me after I red a very heartfelt and emotionally charged email from my bestfriend Mich. In her email, she clearly expressed her sadness at my possible departure. What rang like a thousend bells in my head though was when she told me that I could stand up for what I really want. After living most of my life blindly following the directions my parents and older siblings have set for me, she reminded me that I am, in fact, an adult now and I could put my foot down and make my own decision. To hammer the last nail on the coffin, she ended by telling me that no matter what I decide to do, she'd support me all the way. Mich is truly my soulmate and she understands the depths of my psyche.

Mich, you were right in telling me that inadvertently, we do things that bring us face to face with events that show us, time and time agian, how old we truly are. Even though we have the uncanny ability to laugh at almost (emphasis on "almost") anything, we truly know when things get serious because we find we have no laughter to spare. During our thesis making days, Mich and I were the only ones who could afford to laugh at the darkest of moments but we experienced first hand, at the reliability run schedule, that there ARE times that even we could not find humor. Times that our mirth stops to flow. I was down and tired and she was outright nervous when our thesis refused to work up until the evening before our reliability run and even for a few tense hours on the day itself.

It's only the 30th today. Tomorrow will be the last day of May. My brother comes home the 22nd of June. In fact, this Friday (June 1st) his wife, Edissa, will be flying to Singapore just to get her PR papers and then go back with my brother on the 22nd. I'm pushing the decision away as much as I can. I have even refused to have my hair cut just yet...hoping that Jo Babaran from Intel will call one of these days informing me that I got the job and that she needs me to go to the Cavite plant for the actual job offer and to sign my contract.

I fear that the day is nearly upon me and what scares me most is up until now, I really don't know what I want. I am still unsure of what to say.

Should I leave? Can I hack it there? Will success come my way?

Should I stay? Will I regret not going? Will I spend a long chunk of my life thinking about what could have been?

Truth be told, for the first time in my life, I'm alone. I haven't been this alone. I couldn't respect myself if I fold under the pressure and make someone else make the decision. I'm also fed up with people telling me success stories about family, friends or friends of friends living their dreams in Singapore. I honestly don't know what to do, what to say. I don't even know if I have the strength to actually make the decision.

All is left is a few precious weeks...days...hours...time, right now, isn't at a standstill...it's moving so fast, like a huricane. I'm afraid...very afraid.

when titans collide (or sit down and talk...)

Saying that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have different approaches to everything is a massive understatement. These two big-wigs of the technology world have been dictating the direction technology has taken for quite some time now.

They have had disagreements and outright squabbles but everything has always been conducted from a distance. One key milestone was Bill Gates making a phone call to Steve Jobs back in 1997 but that is a close as they've come...UNTIL NOW.

They are scheduled to hold a 75-minute joint interview today with a panel of tech executives.

More info HERE.

and in the news...

It's been a while since I last fullfilled my duties to society. Now that I have more time though, I've decided to acquaint myself with the goings-on in the world. Lo and behold, some of the most interesting and disturbing news bits I got a hold of.

• Miss USA Rachel Smith does a butt-plant in the Miss Universe 2007 competition.

• Big Brother Australia under fire for refusing to tell contestant Emma Cornell that her father has passed away. Media fears the possibility of BB Australia telling Emma on air to boost ratings. Big Brother maintains that the decision to keep Emma out of the loop was requested by her family.
• Mika is apparently confused at the lack of support coming from his gay demograph. All I can personally say is: "Duh!? This is what happens when you keep on denying you're in fact, gay!".
• Polish homophobia extends to Teletubbies. Apparently, the fact that Tinky Winky (the purple one) carries a purse (or clutch, whatever...) is disturbing to Polish authorities. Ewa Sowniska, an appointed government official for children's rights, is looking to have pyschologists verify Tinky Winky's sexuality. On a personal note, apparently, Poland has learned nothing during the holocaust.
• Peel Hotel - First Australian bar awarded rights to ban heterosexuals. Tom McFeely, the owner of the establishment fears for the safety of his gay customers (it IS a gay bar after all...) due to incidents of heterosexuals harassing his gay customers. My two cents, WAY TO GO! At least some changes are happening down under.
• Moscow Gay Rights March Plagued By Violence - People who attended the march were surprised when they were attacked by anti-homosexual protesters. The international community has condemned this travesty. The Russian police did hold 31 people, the weird thing was, none of the 31 detainees were anti-homosexual protesters. It seems like the police was more hell bent on detaining the leaders of the Gay March. It is worth taking note that Yuri Luzhkov, Mayor of Moscow, previously referred to the Gay March as "satanic". The offenders are members of ultra-nationalist groups and the Russian Orthodox Church. The march was set to celebrate the 14th anniversary of the decriminalization of homosexuality in democratic Russia.
• Ornlando Bloom set to go nude on stage. Maybe he could get pointers from Daniel Radcliffe hmmm...on a more personal note, the trend of big-name stars willingly stripping for the stage is indeed a welcome change!

Please click on the links to read more on these events.

playing with technology...

I'm playing around with mobile blogging right now. I'm not even sure this will post correctly. I've been unable to go online the past five days and it's starting to seriously grate on my nerves! So i'm trying to explore other mobile opportunities (beyond my handy-dandy notebook... Blame Blue's Clues! And my old phone-I miss my XDA mini!) I just found out that my dsl connection is working fine now but since my room still looks like a war zone, I can't sleep there. In the meanwhile, I just left my notebook running while iTunes finishes some (new songs, tons of podcasts, and the badass season finale of Heroes!) downloads. I wanted to look for episodes of "Blood Ties" but I guess that can wait. After all, I DID go through both Underworld DVDs today. Still, my vampire obsession is insatiable. I'm also keeping my eyes peeled for Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds (hence the picture) yum! I'm sooo getting the DVD! Oh well, I hope to see this posted properly when I go online later. For now, toodles from the land of mind-numbing boredom! Kiss kiss!

forced abstinence...

aka REPRESSION!!!

Hahahahahahaha. My online alter ego was rendered dead by my inability to connect to the world wide web due to various reasons. One, is of course the ongoing construction that's happening here (I am glad to announce though, that the new floor is "structurally" complete...with the matching new staircase!!!) and throughout the whole friggin house. Second is my little debacle with the nice people at PLDT DSL because of their inability to supply me with the service I am very much paying for. Lastly, the bastard I have for a father, had a few (I'm being sarcastic...) choice words to utter about my computer ethics...or lack thereof. If I want to spend the ENTIRE day in front of my lappytoppy, I can do so! GOD DAMN HIM! As if there are other worthwhile things to do here...

So I put myself in pseudo-strike mode by not using the computer for the longest time...Hmmm, I miss the good old days of "fatherless" computing...

take that PC!!!

I'm all for the mac people!!!

My life for Aiur!!!

It's official! Blizzard is working on the sequel to the massive real time strategy game Starcraft! I'm glad they're doing this. Sometimes we need respite from orcs and elves (Warcraft) else we grow weary of Azeroth and Lordaeron altogether. Click on Zeratul to be redirected to the official game site. [As of posting time, only Protoss information is available...not that I care. Protoss r0cks0rz!111]

argumentum ad captandum

I think I have been going about the process of redirecting my life the wrong way. I have said time and time again that I will cease to measure my life according to other's standards becasue by doing so, you fall victim to their judgement and criticisms. The truth is, there is no possible way to escape comparison.

It has always been easier to choose the common path...the path everyone takes. After all, a popular decision is a decision that will be least likely subject to opposition.

Instead of removing myself from the measures of society, why not take my journey off the beaten path instead? Trying to pursue honorable goals has never been my strong suit anyway...why not live my life in a different way, not necessarily being subvertive but taking more of a novel approach.

I have beenexposing myself to pressure that shouldn't have been there in the first place. I may be a bum right now, but I actually enjoy surfing the net the whole day and being able to blog at my desired pace. To be with my family all the time (okay, maybe not "all the time"...) and be able sleep when I feel like sleeping.

I wouldn't exactly call my life right now "off the beaten track" but it sure is a laid-back approach to being an abject failure.

Whatever...making the popular choice is for the weak. It's time to start blazing my own path, a path that can either lead me to overwhelming success or complete and total disaster. It doesn't matter any more...just like Frank said: "I did it my way."

awww...so sweet

I still think kissing is the most erotic and tender thing lovers can do...

IDAHO releases Homophobia ''Hall of Shame"

May 17 marked the International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO). This day commemorates the exact day when Homosexuality was removed from the World Health Organization's (WHO) list of disorders back in 1990.

The Hall of Shame was released not to show the worst offenders but to shed light on some world leaders who have used or lent their power to perpetuate homophobia. The list includes some very powerful people not the least of which would be Pope Benedict XVI himself. The list also includes: George Bush, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran), Roman Giertych (Minister of Education for Poland), Bienvenido Abante (Representative in the House of Congress - Philippines).

The press release also includes some milestones that show there is still hope. These include advances in Nepal, Denmark, Mexico and in the United Nations.

I suggest you guys take the time to read this one. You owe it to yourself to be aware so you can continue to act as responsible human beings capable of respect for everyone. Also, I've covered some of the "offenders" aforementioned in my previous posts. It would also be nice if you took the time to read up on these people as well so we might not repeat their mistakes.

bad blog...BAAAAD BLOG!

Time to see the power of media...and the power of stupidity as well.

I bet most of you have heard the recent news about Apple losing 4 billion dollars of capital revenue in just six minutes! Yes! FOUR FRIGGIN BILLION (that's a thousand million!!!) DOLLARS!

Apparently Engadget, a news blog, upon receiving an email from a trusted (not anymore...LOL) source, promptly posted on its site the details about delays in Apple releases. They went on to announce delays in the release of the iPhone and Apple's next generation OS the MacOS Leopard. After the post's release, the market reacted fairly quickly hence the $4B drop.

My suggestion: stop getting news or stock tips from second rate websites. If you'll take the time to read the comments posted on that specific news item, you'll see "smart" people questioning the validity of the report and actually taking the time to check on Apple's investor relations and press room web pages first. The rest of the morons who sold their stocks out of fear can be likened to herds of wilderbeasts who stampede upon any sudden movement. If you watch National Geographic or Animal Planet enough, you're very familiar with this scene: wilderbeasts drink from a watering hole, a flock of birds land to drink as well, wilderbeasts see movement coming from birds, wilderbeasts stampede out of the watering hole...SCARED OF A FEW FRIGGIN BIRDS!!!

standing before the great divide...

I have been struggling as of late to secure myself a decent job. By decent, I'm referring to jobs that offer reasonable (I'm not looking to make millions...yet) compensation with competitive training and experience. Ultimately, my goal is to get a job that would increase my marketability. Sure, a big fat paycheck would be nice, but I'm more concerned about how my job would look on my resume.

So I've applied time and time again to jobs in multinational companies. I've explored every available avenue of engineering jobs there is. I tried Industrial Engineering fields, Customer Support Engineering, Process and Product Engineering, SAP support and what not...all rendering mediocre success. I've even entertained the possibility of returning to the call center industry albeit in a manegerial position.

My mom told me a few days ago that my brother was quite irritated as well at the status of the engineering job he had set up for me in his old company. It was progressing far slower than we both had originally hoped. Apparently, he discreetly told my mom that if he were to come home this June and I still didn't have a job, he would come get me. He plans on bringing me back with him to Singapore and to continue my job hunt there. Honestly, I was surprised upon hearing this since I honestly thought he was the one against me prematurely going to Singapore. He had always been the one to preach about the all mighty importance of previous work experience before trying my luck there.

What prompted my mother to divulge this treasured piece of information was my speech about considering teaching in La Salle if all getv awry, I discussed how I would teach while I worked my way up to a master's degree in my engineering field since instructors were given huge discounts if not full scholarships in DLSU.

My reaction, after having time to get over my initial disbelief was apprehension. Now here is where everything gets a bit confusing...it's when the preverbial shit hits the fan. I actually found myself hesitant at the prospect of going to Singapore and trying to work there. Apparently, my brother's dogma about building a good resume locally with solid work experience has become deeply ingrained in my head that doing otherwise became preposterous! While mom was explaining how my brother was willing to support me for two months while I try my luck, I was already formulating a solid plan of attack to escape this proposition.

To make matters worse, all the friends I've talked with today have lectured me on how much of a wonderful opportunity I'm missing out on. I chatted with Van who, ironically enough, is the same person I've asked help from regarding my Intel application. She told me not pass up on the chance to establish myself abroad. I explained my reasons and how I only plan to stay in Intel for about a year or so (but I really plan on staying AT LEAST two years) then I'll go and leave with my brother. Next in line was Joetech (the "other" Joey, drives him wild when I say that) who in the midst of his rants about how sucky his current job was, took the time to emphasize how lucky I was right now...he simply doesn't know how much I envied him when he got his job! There's also Keeks who urges me to just go there and try it out. She even explained how I could get over my reluctance to go there (due to the fact that my brother will be supporting me THE WHOLE TIME!) by helping out around my brother's house, cleaning up, cooking and what not.

I just couldn't understand why my friends don't get my point. If I was sure I'd get a job in Singapore the moment I get there, I would have no qualms about leaving right now. They have to understand that I don't want to feed (more like leech) off of my brother if I couldn't guarantee him success. If I fail in securing a job within the two months he'd give me, all his expenses in supporting me would be for naught and I don't want that to bear on my conscience! Why can't people get that?! I'm not being selfish...it's the complete opposite in fact! While the people who do get me somewhat accuse me of cowardice! They frown on my lack of confidence to try and ride it out abroad! I understand that risks are a vital part of our progression but I honestly don't believe that at this specific instant, I should go play with the cards I've been dealt. I think I should wait out a few more rounds until I get a better hand.

I'm utterly confused right now and I don't know where to go from here AND I only have a couple of weeks left to decide! If there has been any appropriate time for an epiphany, now would be the right moment!

"It Won't Be Soon Before Long" now up!

The new Maroon 5 album has already been uploaded. Just head on to my music page and download away!

got dibs on the new Maroon 5 album!!!

It's fantastic! Think "sexy Beegees" and you've got the new album in a nutshell!!! I never knew disco (or dance, whatever...) infused rock could sound so damn manly and sexy! I've got to give it to Adam Levine...I almost peed my pants hearing him sing the new songs.

I'll be posting the entire album here. So, hurray for my contacts! I really urge you guys to listen to it.

"Dude, get your own."

Sony will start rolling out its new slew of ads targeting its 13-17 year old demographic. For those too busy to watch TV and catch the "catchy" (Wow...twice in a row! I must be getting dumb...) commercials, click this LINK.

QJ.net will be streaming the first out of a total seven planned ads that'll be airing. This change in target audience is also emphasized by the PSP's price drop to $169.99! Take that DS Fanboys!

the Goddess in me...LOL

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I got wood...

Not that kind PERVERT! It's literally raining splinters in our house. The macho guys upstairs (roof area) have started sawing plywood sheets to make the floors. Good thing is, by the same time next week, I'll prolly be able to go up there and see the progress for myself.

I'm currently hiding in my (soon to be) room with my sister. We have the AC at full blast so she could sleep. I was a good wench this morning feeding the guys and making sure they're hydrated. So my parents are cutting me some slack right now.

I also got good news from Globe today. After my two year lock-in period, they've decided to give me more than 50% off of my monthly bill (flat rate/base amount only) which is actually a huge deal because my bill reaches the thousands easily each month. I'm glad for the thousand sumthin-sumthin that I'll be saving. Which means...it's time to buy a new phone!!! I'm scoping the market for the usual types of phone I like, smartphones, touch screens, mobile PCs...and a clamshell here and there.

I'm done with my V3x...HUGE MISTAKE getting it. MY brother was only waaaay too happy to snatch my XDA Mini off my hands the moment he heard I was getting the V3x. Well, I had fun video calling everyone but that is as far as it goes. I miss full internet capabilities and puch email options. I'm currently looking at the Treo 750 (which Globe is willing to give me a discount on) or my beloved O2 brand's XDA Zinc or XDA Atom life. Also, I'm entertaining other possibilities since I'll be switching to Mac soon and these Windows Mobile powered devices won't hack it...call me old fashioned but I want my gadgetry coming from the same banner. I'm just hoping the Apple iPhone makes its asian debut soon. (Yeah right...) But I still have other options...a Palm powered Treo maybe? Or a Blackberry? (way too white-collar corporate for me!)

Well...whatever. I might decide to just postpone for a couple of months to see what comes up next.

from sad to happy and back...

I'm talking about music here...

I was riding on the whole emo bandwagon the past couple of years. All that of course, was very much because of Ardex, my friend. He was all into giving me music and burning CDs for me left and right. He's really special like that. He was also the guy who introduced me to The Get Up Kids and Daphne Loves Derby and for that I'm sooo grateful.

At the beginning of this year though, I pulled a 360 and started pumping out dance hits left and right. I can't say my Sennheiser's have seen as much action compared to this year. Plus, there's the new Scissor Sisters album...not Ta-Dah, the unreleased one and of course, who can forget the adorable giant, Mika.

I've changed my tastes again these past few days. I'm getting back to the whole Indie scene and I've been a busy-busy bee getting albums of the iTunes store left and right. I've reconnected with Switchfoot (I know, not entirely Indie...but once upon a time...) and other cool bands like Anberlin, Eisley, Emery, Saosin, Circa Survive, Interpol, Arctic Monkeys, Guster and Under0ath...to name a few. I'm also treading the thin line between indie rock and Christian rock (although the line gets more blurred with each passing day) with reckless abandon. Seems like a lot of the new up and comers just happen to be full of faith (to say the least) but they definitely sound great. I'm also crushing on Jimmy Eat World again although I'm still hurt that they abandoned the whole emo scene, but the scene's still healthy. With replacements like Taking Back Sunday, Dashboard Confessional et al, who could go wrong right?

Like I said...I'm happily sad right now...

drowning in shallow waters...

For those who check my blog from time to time (I love you! Hahahahaha...) you might have noticed I've not been updating as conscientiously these past few days. I went on a mini-sabbatical to get my head on straight again. I've been fighting with bouts of depression and general melancholia.

Surprisingly enough, I found the answers I sought in music. My music to be exact. In my eternal mission (fueled by outrageous amounts of zeal) to fix my iTunes playlists, I've come across a lot of tracks long forgotten. First I saw my old Christian Rock songs, so I thought God is mocking my incompetence. Then I unearthed my indie bootlegs and what-nots, so I thought...yeah, independence...run away...DO NOT CONFORM! Finally it hit me how much emo I've been intravenously subjecting myself to these past few months. Could this have been the source of my then "unexplained" sadness? Are these songs wired to make us hoplessly suicidal?

My epiphany came to me in the form of a question...whay the hell do we have so many classifications of music? We have referenced and cross-referenced songs over and over it's as if we are hell bent on making it nigh-impossible for anyone to appreciate it...specially ourselves.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO: "THIS SOUNDS GOOD, I LIKE IT." AND "THAT'S AWFUL. THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I'M GONNA LISTEN TO THAT!"?

Then it hit me...all the complexities in our lives are our own machinations. We contiously cage ourselves, limit our strides. I have become what I loathed the most...sheep...FUCKING SHEEP! I have inundated myself with the tenets of society that I have, in turn, smothered my spirit. I have made it hard for me to draw upon anything attached to my uniqueness. I have become lost in the crowd...a fucking wallflower!

So I've decided. To hell with all my problems, they're chains holding me to the mundane and they are my own creation! I refuse to give in to society's definition of success. I am my own person. I'm sick and tired of feeling inept. I choose to be imperfect, to be human. Neither God nor society will dictate my path. I revel in my personal route to enlightenment. As long as I hurt no one, I will be fine.

I'm happily sad and incomplete right now...pain, after all, reminds me I am still alive.

"holy" crap! pun intended...

I've been fussing over my esteemed iTunes playlists again (yeah, I'm anal about my music!) and I've stumbled onto a very disturbing (?) and surprising fact...I HAVE TONS OF CHRISTIAN ROCK MUSIC!!!

I mean I don't have anything against the genre per se but I'm in a very gray area right now regarding my faith. It doesn't make me feel dirty (hell no!) nor guilty to have this kind of music. I was just really surprised...I had no idea I even had these tracks. After I got rid of my Hillsong CDs (tons of them!!!) I really thought that was it.

I feel a little hypocritical listening to these tracks now, but their quality is undeniable. I still like these songs and have decided not to delete them. This is another thing to ponder on...at a later time.

WouldJesusDiscriminate.com billboards defaced in Indiana...

I really think there is no point trying to build a better relationship with people who act like THIS.

Thanks to Towleroad.com for continuing to bring this to the attention of as many people as they could. I hope people everywhere could simply see how their behavior only makes the movement stronger...

a life of regret...

In the tenets of Bushido, it is a sin for a samurai to feel regret. There is also this long discussion about differentiating remorse from regret.From the western perspective, "regret is a posion that kills a person"...or something like that. I really can't remember anymore and besides, eastern philisophy has always been dear to me.

The point, ladies and gentlemen, is, that in the universal context, regret is something we should strike from our persona. Regret is defined as (1/v) to mourn the loss of (2/v)to be very sorry for [m-w.com]. At first glimpse, it seems that regret is a very natural thing to feel. Then why must we strive not to "regret" anything?

In my moments of introspection (aka: any moment I am alone...LOL) I can't help but think back on the 22 years I've lived my life. No matter how hard I try, regret seems to be at the forefront of my thoughts always. I daresay it's not a healthy thing to do, ponder on past failures and what-ifs that is...but I do more than just learn from my mistakes, I relive them everyday. I'm not one to preach about how this makes me monumentally better than the lot of you, it just makes me a person who lives his life smothered by the shadow of regret.

I have also come to conclude that (in my case at least) regret always comes hand in hand with envy and more than a reasonable amount of self-doubt.

For example, I had this friend (yes, past tense...and no, he isn't dead, were just not friends anymore) Keith back in high school. He loves rock, and not just the run of the mill rock that the average person likes, he likes the rare, undeground and bootleg variety. I'll even venture as far as considering him cool. He's also quite easy on the eyes, except for tobacco teeth, which is easily remedied nowadays. He was also born into a charmed life. With a well-off chinese business man for a father and a well-payed financial expert for a mother. I could say he has it all, but he doesn't. He isn't smart...AT ALL. I'm referring to the genric kind of smarts here, more of linguistics, arithmetic and sciences. But does it matter, no, I believe it doesn't.

I, on the other hand, was born to a middle class family. My parents have spent their fortune and spent all succeeding years working their bones to dust to send off three children to respectable schools. I used to be a pop-tart but I'm now proud to say that I enjoy better, more sophisticated genres of music. I'm fat, brown skinned and have long unruly and wavy hair. Yeah, I'd classify myself as below avearge in the looks department. I may be a depressed idiot, but I'm a realist at heart and I don't live a jaded life. I got top grades in elementary but vetnured into more social endeavors in high school hence the average grades. I was ok in college, not at par with most my classmates but I always got through everything with minimum exertion. Yet, I still consider myself an intellectual albeit an intellectuall without credentials...the worst kind if you ask me.

Now, let's compare notes. I took a five-year engineering course with a one term thesis extension while he took a four-year multimedia arts degree. The difference? I didn't fail basic college algebra three times. Now, a lot of you would venture out into deciding that I should be more successful...it's only fair right? Alas, that isn't the case. He took on freelance work when he graduated. He worked when he wanted to work and took home around thrity to sixty grand for every project he did. So, assuming he completed one project per month, he has it good.All of this happened while I was working a call center job to support my tuiton fee and thesis expenses. I was fairly good at it and should have been promoted last January and (hopefully) just today (more promotions were given today and all my former co-workers were sure I'd make higher management by now) as well. But I had to quit because of the whole Christmas bonanza and of course, my brother's January wedding. Now, I have an empty bank account and sore fingers from applying online almost all the time. I don't even turn my laptop off anymore. All the while, Keith stopped working to go study film in the new film school in Cebu (y'know? the cool one...) I even bet he's paying his own way through...just thinking about how much he's saved up already. Now I'm waiting for an engineering job that offers mediocre pay (and that's before taxes are applied) just to fight my way to a better paying job in Singapore.

All I can say is, I envy a lot of people in the world and could never justify why my life sucks. What I wouldn't do to be royalty right now, or even a billionaire's son but we never get to decide anything before we're born right? I regret being bron into my family and regret even more the fact that I had so many chances to be special, to break away from a dead-beet's life but was too stupid to capitalize on all those opportunities. I could have been as successful as Herbert (God knows I have the brains), more popular than Ramon (if I had just eaten the right kinds of foods), more successful than my brother (given the chance).

What do I have to show for all the years I've lived? Nothing, absolutely nothing...I'm a depressive, sexually-confused, penniless, jobless, fat, grey-haired, unsuccessful, self-abusive prick. I wonder how I manage to plaster a smile on my face everytime I need to...

why Zach REALLY disappeared...

Y'all remember Zach (played by Thomas Dekker)? He was Claire's best friend in Heroes. If you're a fan of the series (much like me...) you have no doubt seen the endless online buzz about Zach's character being gay. Well. the executive producer of the show, Bryan Fuller, finally breaks the silence.

Fuller states that Zach's character was originally slated to be gay to showcase the variety that was inherent in the series. What with an African-American gallery manager, a hispanic artist that paints the future, couple of Japanese dudes, a French speaking Haitian, and an Indian geneticist; the show could pass as an advertisement for Benetton!?

The problem was, when the time came for Zach to admit he was gay (in a very "read between the lines" pre-prom speech) Thomas Dekker's management had issues with how playing a gay character would affect his career.

So alas, another one bites the dust...or should I say falls victim to homophobia.

Read the article HERE.

and in the news...

I've decided to copy Towleroad.com's style in reporting. I'll just give bulleted reports in my blog and if you guys are interested, just click on the links to get the meat. I've been a fan of Towleroad's blog for a while now and just wanted to make sure people read the news that was on there. It's really socially relevant. I do take the time to read all posts myself and read all the linked news articles just to make sure I'm educated before I type anything.

• One person injured during Gay Pride in Jerusalem when a bomb exploded. the bomb was planted as a show of protest.Ultra-Orthodox Jews might be behind said explosion.
• Lee Kuan Yew, Singapore's founding leader, said the country should rethink it's view of homosexuality in the advent of genetic research showing it's not a preference but a genetic trait. Currently, Gay Sex in Singapore is considered improper and is punishable by up to two years prison sentence.
• John Mangan, professor of economics at the University of Queensland and Professor Vani Borooah of the University of Ulster are co-authors of a paper, entitled "Love Thy Neighbour: How Much Bigotry Is There In Western Countries?" Paper proves bigotry is not an "Australian" thing, but more of a "Western" thing in general.
• Eliot Spitzer, the State of New York's governor, will hold true to his word (pre-election) and introduce a bill to legalize Gay Marriage in New York.

I hope the writers at Towleroad don't object to my posting.

abortion is terrorism, gay marriage is evil according to the Vatican...

My questions and lack of faith are getting compunded each day I live. This latest news from the Vatican is not exactly "news" and I actually agree with a few things, but the statement doesn't help me at all.

Archbishop Angelo Amato, the Vatican's second-highest
ranking doctrinal official, released a statement last Monday. He forcefully branded
homosexual marriage an evil and denounced abortion and
euthanasia as forms of "terrorism with a human face."

This comes after a volley of comments from Vatican officials including Pope Benedict in response to the prospect of Italy giving more rights to gay people.

In his address to chaplains, Amato even bombs the media comes across as "a perverse film about
evil." He referred to "evils that remain almost invisible"
because the media presented them as "expression of human
progress." He could very well be referring to the continued progress of gay rights around the world.

I agree with Gay Rights activists when they say that the Church is muscling its way into the law making process again. I really believe that the Church should be kept away from any semblance of the government.

Click HERE for the entire article via Reuters.

This only strengthens my resolve: "I can be a Christian without being a Roman Catholic..."

a memoir of sorts...

It's a fact of life. We meet new people, get to know them better, connect on various levels of intimacy, build emotional dependencies, and sadly, most of the time, we end up parting ways. I resigned last December...more or less, four months have passed since then but there are still fleeting moments that I stop and end up missing my friends a whole lot.

Kelogs (Michael) made this little video and uploaded it to YouTube.com and promptly blasted an email through the group to announce it's debut. He laso wasted no time sending me a "nudge" to get my inputs. Simple really, I told him: "It made me cry...". I am fully aware that I was the youngest in the group and probably the most immature becasue of this (except when it comes to talking about Joji of course, that's a whole different story!!!) but I keep on thinking they probably miss me as much as I miss them, right? Truth is, I honestly don't think so. I haven't spoken with the lot of them since I left. Sure there's email and IM...and the occasional call or SMS but it's not the same. Save for my continuing friendship with my beloved Jana of course. She's different, we really connected on so many levels. My family even knows her.

I dunno, maybe I still have a lot of learning to do with regards to losing friends over time. Hey, cut me some slack! I just recently graduated as well...I'm missing my college buds as well. Mich!!! I miss you!

Here's the vid, for those of you who're (<-- LOL) interested:



Thanks Kel! Luvyah!

countdown to ultimate release...

First and foremost, I just realized that I didn't post anyhting for the 22nd...it's so fucking biblical that I couldn't help but berate myself. Me? Rest on a Sunday? What a mind fuck!?

Okaaaay...glad to get that off my chest.

I was super busy buying music online that I almost forgot what today(at least where I'm from) was? I was completing the discographies of my favorite bands respectively. I just bought the Anberlin albums I didn't have. Buying music online doesn't get my rocks off but it gets the job done. I prefer buying the actual cd and getting a whiff of the "new cd smell" when I tear open the wrapper but I'm still grateful for iTunes. I'm in the process of buying legit copies of all tracks I have...a daunting task but one I plan on finishing nonetheless.

Okay...I'm getting sidetracked here...SERIOUSLY.

Today...or at least in a few hours time (12 hours before eastern time hits AM) is the day Heroes hits our TVs (or in my case, my lappy-toppy) again!!! I'm drooling at the prosepct of seeing my favortie people on the boobtube again! I can't wait to get my weekly Heroes fix!

Love Life, Stop AIDS

It's a no-brainer folks. Let's educate ourselves.







...and, as you can see, it's for everyone. AIDS doesn't discriminate, so why should we?

PSP v3.40 update now available

File Description
This first came out in the official PSP website in Korea. Japan rolled it out soon after. Now, for those of you who only download updates from the US site (like me, although I own a Japanese Ceramic White PSP) it's already available. I listed the changes included in the update here. (Thanks QJ.net!)

Game

• Support for PLAYSTATION®Network titles has been expanded.
• Saved data from PlayStation® format software can now be used on both PSP® and PS3™ systems.
• The [Certificate Utility] was deleted. Information that was displayed in [Certificate Utility] can be checked by the following method: Select the icon of the game you want to display information for, press the button, and then select [Information] from the options menu.
• New for 3.30: Support for PLAYSTATION®Network titles has been expanded.*
  

Network

• New for 3.30: Support for thumbnail images of items has been added under [RSS Channel].*
  

Video

• New for 3.30:Support for thumbnail images of videos that are stored in the "VIDEO" folder of Memory Stick Duo™ media has been added.
• New for 3.30:The following types of files can now be played in the "VIDEO" folder. – MPEG-4/H.264 AVC Main Profile (AVC CABAC) video files of the following sizes: 720 X 480, 352 X 480, or 480 X 272. (Depending on the data type, some files cannot be played.)*
  

Settings

• New for 3.30: [Use Wireless Hotspot] has been added as a feature under [Network Settings].
  
  
  

Sanjaya's finally gone!!!

I guess the "aunt Jemeima from the Bronx" look didn't work too well for him this time. That androgynous freak!

Jason Lewis for Aero...

...WEARING ONLY A TOWEL!!!



God! He could sell me anything...can anybody say "uncontrollably" as sexily as he just did? Fucking impossible...

Would Jesus Discriminate?

History has shown us that Christianity was wrong about:

• slavery
• women's rights
• interacial marriage

Could we also be wrong about same-sex relationships?

Find out HERE.

lesson learned: never use the "ketchup" analogy...

FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! ROTFLMAO


Online Videos by Veoh.com

from the movie Ethan Mao...

HOT!!!

Ethan Mao (2005)
Uploaded by stam1_90

The two dudes watching were obviously green with envy...

UW-Madison welcomes first Gay Fraternity...

Looks like Langdon Drive is getting more interesting every second that passes...

Delta Lambda Phi is the first gay fraternity to emerge in the University of Wsconsin Madison campus in fifteen years. Although the campus already has shown strong GLBT support over the years, Rodolfo Alaniz and Jakob Aebly, co-founders, saw the need to forward their cause.

Just so we're clear...Delta Lambda Phi is one of the 28 Delta Lamba fraternities across the USA and one of four established in the Big 10. It's a fraternity for Gay, Bisexual and Progressive men.

bodycount rises in shocking Virginia Tech Massacre...

Dozens have died and even more were left injured as dorm rooms and a classroom was targeted by an armed shooter today at Virginia Tech. ABC has reported 29 confirmed dead...and the count isn't final yet. It actually might still rise.

The Associate Press reports,
"The university reported shootings at opposite sides of the 2,600-acre
campus, beginning at about 7:15 a.m. at West Ambler Johnston, a co-ed
residence hall that houses 895 people, and continuing about two hours
later at Norris Hall, an engineering building. Some but not all the
dead were students. One student was killed in a dorm and the others
were killed in the classroom, Virginia Tech Police Chief W.R. Flinchum."

Reports say the gunman kas been killed but it's still not known if he was shot or if he shot himself.

My condolences to all the affected people...

Arruba accepts gay marriage albeit by a technicality...

Gay marriage is legal in the Netherlands. Arruba, being a former Dutch colony, is still part of the Kingdom of Netherlands ergo...GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN ARRUBA!

Recently, as ordered by the Dutch Supreme Court, Arruba was told to recognize the same sex marriage of a lesbian couple who moved to the country and wanted to list themselves as a couple in the municipal listings.

more personal results...

Take the quiz:
What will your dream boyfriend be like?

Your dream boyfriend will be a wrestler. Tough on the outside but sensitive on the inside, this hunk will have you worshiping his big biceps, and ripping off his tight underwear.
Quiz by JustGuys.net - Find Hot Guys. Take the quiz

new DList Intern crowned!!!

Yeah! A new podcoast is out for the DList Radio show and Sammie won the coveted internship position! He's really funny and articulate...don't believe me? Read his BLOG.

For instant gratification, click on this LINK to download the episode directly.

new DList radio podcast episode available!

Comedienne Chelsea Peretti co-hosts with sexy-voiced Daniel Nardicio. Guests are: Soce the Elemental Wizard (listen to his song...I was laughing my ass off!), transexual Chanteuse Bianca Leigh, author Cintra Wilson, and burnin' hot gogo boy Sammie!!! Sammie definitely made the episode hot...I mean Daniel's always hot but they were teasing the listeners to no end!!!

I'm really sorry my updates take sooo fuckin' long! I was sooo out last night becasue of the trip and stuff.

scientists discover "Fat Gene"

A gene that contributes to obesity has been discovered. This knowledge could explain why some people put on more weight while living the same lifestyle as other slimer people.

Click on the link above to see the figures produced by the research and how this could help people (me included, of course) suffering from obesity.

F1: Bahrain updates...

Nice to say that Massa of team Scuderia Ferrari captured his fifth career (third, this season) pole position followed by Lewis Hamilton in his McLaren Mercedez. My personal favorite though, has to be Kimi Raikonen edging out that pompous Fernando Alonso for the third spot in the grid!

I hope this is the beginning of Massa's recovery from the ugly performance back in Sepang.

hatecrime bill named after Matthew Shepard

It was announced last Thursday that the new hate crime bill will be named after Matthew Shepard. Supporters are expecting that Congress wil enact a bill that widens the Federal Penalties for crimes done against homosexuals.

Matthew Shepard was a 21 year old victim of a hate crime in Wyoming (1998). He was brutally beaten and then tied to a fence.

Both the Democratic and Republican parties have tried, for nearly a decade, to legislate a hate crime bill. However, staunch supporters are confident that this bill will reach President Bush's hands aided by the more sympathetic Democratic majority as compared to the previous GOP leaders.

The bill is co-sponsored by Sen. Gordon Smith (R/Oregon) and Sen. Edward Kennedy, (D/Massachusetts). Sen. Smith believes that: "...we'll be more successful" after the bill was named. Smith is also confident despite potential opposition from Religious groups, saying: "This act is about the prosecution of crime, not prohibition of
speech," Smith said. "Unless they believe part of their religion is the
practice of violence against others, they should not be affected by
this bill."

***If this bill is approved, it would be a huge step for empowering gay people in America. I believe that Religion shouldn't view this issue through rose-tinted glasses (as it always has) becasue we are talking about basic human rights here. I hope Christians remember how people of our faith were persecuted throughout the years and how we are acting similarly to our detractors now. Lastly, I hope such a law be enacted locally as well. I'm not saying this because Filipino's are exceptionally violent against gays, it's just that gay people aren't given the same amount of respect and importance in this country and I'm sorry to admit that this is due , in LARGE part, to the Church's chokehold on the government.