simple material joys in life

Hmmmm...my brother finally got here last Saturday. I was really out of it when he (together with mommy, daddy, and my older sister - all fetched him at the airport) walked through the door. I was really dazed considering the lack of sleep (Hey! I just got off work at 7AM that morning!!!) and wasn't that responsive at all.

He then put his hicking back pack down and got all the different goodies out. First came all of the cowbells that were to act as gifts to the different "ninongs" and "ninangs" for his upcoming wedding. On to the good stuff...He got my mom this uber-expensive digital camera that we (still) have no idea how to use, and then he brought out MY SPANKING NEW "CERAMIC WHITE" PSP!!! Needless to say I was up and sober in no time. I immediately tinkered with it...and still am right now. My new buddy (PSP) and I have been inseperable eversince.

I also got to shop my ass off today. My sister decided to get me two new pair of leather shoes. After all...we're supposed to wear smart-casual outfits to work. I also got this really cool transparent Logitech casing for my PSP with uber-cool orange rubber matting inside! Coolness!!! My brother also got me a kick-ass UMD game to go with the console. He got me Daxter (because I told him that was the game with the longest play-time) and promised to get me new title come October (he'll be back to finalize stuff for the wedding). I'm also gonna buy a 1Gb Memory Stick Card Duo this coming Tuesday after getting off my Monday night to Tuesday morning shift.

I'm almost set! I just need a nice screen protector to put on the huge screen. I'm also thinking about getting these really humongous Sennheisser noise cancelling headsets. I'm a little hesitant though...thanks in large part to their 3000+++ peso pricetags!!!!!!

But all is good in Joweeland. Also, I got through Product Specific Training at work and I'm already cleared for the Mentoring stage. I just can't wait to get the 1000 peso raise when you get through all trainings...that'll be a whopping 16000 big bucks when I get there!!! ANG FUCKING TAX FREE!!!

God I love my gift-recieving, tech-driven, tax-free existence!!!

my week...in review

A lot can happen in a week...FOR REAL!!!

I got my course cards last Monday and guess what??? I PASSED ALL MY SUBJECTS!!! I was almost a Deans Lister! Got a 3.2 GPA but had a 1.5 in Statistics soooo that pretty much blew my chances...

Started my new job last Wednesday and went on Diction, Intonation, and Enunciation Training (DIET, how ironic...) and I certified today!!! Wow! It's on to Product Specific Training (PST)!!!

Congratulations PayPal batch 15c!!!!!!!! Got lots of new friends and more importantly, I learned how to spell phonetically /fhu-ne-tee-kuh-lee/ bwahahahahahahahaha!!! Thanks to JP (our amazing trainer).

I just hope I can jumble my last remaining academic units with my new job. I'll be back in school probably the third week of May...PLUS, I plan to finish that damn THESIS once and for all!!!

"normal" is the catchword...

Besides the sweltering heat (which is, unfortunately, quite normal) nothing is playing out in the normal boring way this summer...

I actually signed up for a summer job! This money-earning (hopefully) stunt of mine comes in the form of my sister's job. I won't be wasting time this summer playing in any sizzling beaches...

Course Card day is just around the corner and freakishly enough, I'm not worried!?!?! Usually, two weeks before this fatefull day, I can't eat, sleep, talk, or display any "normal" human behavior. For the first time in my college life (not counting my OJT grades of course!) I feel kinda good about my grades. I just hope my Statistics subject doesn't disappoint me...

I'm also in a slump nowadays...picture this: if I were stuck in a movie right now, it would be in black and white AND Death Cab for Cutie's "Sound of Settling" would be looping endlessly in the background...

Things have changed a lot...when I was still a kid, our Holy Week was spent indoors and we only went out for the "Visita Iglesia". Yesterday (Good Friday...the day when my grandparents were at their strictest!!!) I went out and saw kids running around, old women playing bingo in the streets and I was just like: "Whoa! This is like sooooo not 'normal'!"

I just hope things pick up soon, I'm sooooo anticipating change!!!

sacrifices and rewards

I just concluded that I learned how to be a college student too late. It's only this term that I decided to balance my self, appropriate my time well, and prioritize things correctly.

I could've done a hell'a lot more if only I flew through college like this.

But things seem to float way from me now. Change is inevitable and often times, we do everything to escape its passing.

I even decided to get myself a summer job. Y'know? Just to get a good feel of things before it's really too late. I want to know what it'll be like having a job. The time when I'll be ultimately thrust into adulthood and the days of simpe living will be gone.

Yes! I said simple living...I AM aware that college life is piece of cake compared to life in the real world. You might ask: "then why complain all the time?". The answer is simple...BECAUSE I CAN. Somehow, ranting makes things a lot easier to take in all at once. It's nice to know that someone will always be there to hear you out.

The time to grow up is drawing near. I finally have to earn my keep and prove the righteousnes of my existence in this world. It's time to leave an indelible mark that those younger than me will look up to someday. All I wish for...is that I be worthy of this harrowing responsibility.

I have come to terms with the fact that others will look up to me for guidance now. No longer can I rant simply because I can...now, I will complain because that IS ALL I CAN DO.

Possibilities are always nice...not knowing, ever questioning, and making the fates laugh when we try to decipher our futures. It's almost time to delve into the great big unknown. Hopefully someday, I get to rise from this sea of doubt a changed man...a better person...an entity who has purchased his right to exist from the jaws of uselessness.

been to hell and back

It's Tuesday. I've been through two of the biggest, nastiest tests ever made known to man.

And guess what:

I'm still alive!!!!

Hahaha!!! Score: 2-Joey, Nasty Teachers-ZERO!!!

But it's still not over. I still have to moderate a panel discussion tomorrow and I let's not forget about the two other requirements I have to submit.

But all in all, everything is peachy in Joweeland!!!

a glimpse of things to come

I'm just updating now because I might be delirious even before the week ends.

I have a statistics test on Monday (6-9 PM)...

I have a differential equations test on Tuesday...

I have to prepare for a panel discussion (which I will be moderating) on Wednesday...

I have to squeeze in some hands on time for my CATIA project on Thursday...

Finally, I have to submit a paper for Religion (about the movie: Devil's Advocate) on Friday...

So...it's already the second to the last week before the term ends and the end is still not in sight. I can't see my finish line...HELP ME!!! SHOOT ME!!!

the search for the silver lining

Just when you thought things couldn't get worse. Just when you hoped that there's no where else to go but up (from the slump you're stuck in...). AND, atfter reading your horoscope and discovering you're in for good things...

KABOOM!!! The preverbial rug is pulled from underneath your flat feet and you end up belly-up in this world where upright is the only way to be.

IN SHORT...I hate fucking Mondays!!!

I had to put up with lots of drama today. First I got up late...I ended up missing my first class. Then during second period, the prof was busy backtracing and eating shit...whew, and I thought I was unorganized!!! Then during my last class (Goddamn RELIGION!!!) I had to deal with a friend of mine who happens to be in most of my groupings for other courses dishing out a full shitload of drama.


I just want to know if simplicity is too much to ask for. I mean we're all busy right? I refuse to believe that there are degrees of busy-ness. I mean it's either you are or you aren't, right???

Geesh! I don't understand where all this animosity is coming from. Was college always this hard? I miss books...memorizing, and passing that way. Just when graduation is within reach, everyone conspires to push it away from your groping hands.

I just wish people would just shoot themselves instead of giving me too much drama!!!

my life in a nutshell

I'd take 5 pentabarbital pills over life any day!

art imitating life

I've been trying to recover these past few days, but it seems like everytime a smile begins to form on my face something always pops up to stop it from happening. Sometimes we just go through slumps in our lives, where satisfaction seems to plateau and we're left scratching our heads.

Well, I have a slightly different mechanism for coping:

Hurting just feels soooo good. Enough said...

the antithesis to a happy and satisfying life…

There are just some days where we find ourselves at wits end. It’s like everything is moving but you’re stuck there. Sometimes there is nothing worse than stagnation. The earth turns, the tides rise and fall, heck, even other people change! But your just there, acting like the powerless bystander that you were born to be.

They say some people are just born great, their great destinies imprinted on the palms of their hands since infancy. What happens when you believe you weren’t supposed to be born in the first place? Is it your parents’ fault that you were robbed of a great destiny due to their effervescent ignorance? Or does the fault lie with you, a weakling incapable of terminating your own existence even after you’ve realized that you were born for no apparent reason at all? You’re existence is an anomaly at best. Walking the earth with no purpose, you just end up hindering other people from fulfilling their respective missions.

“The Lost”, a very apt appellation if I could say so myself, to describe this meaningless reality.

You see everybody’s plan coming into fruition while you sit by the sidelines. Any accomplishment you achieve doesn’t have the desired effect. Where others would feel success or satisfaction, you only feel emptiness. All this happens while new and harder barrage of questions assault your already confused and chaotic head. You feel your soul literally being rendered into pieces. What’s worse is that you know that it will never get better. Somewhere deep inside your pathetic excuse for a core, you know…that this is how it’s supposed to be.

Nothing can comfort you. There is only this reality gnawing at the back of your head. Even this certainty can’t bring you peace. You try desperately to hold on to your so-called “normalcy”, trying to act like everyone else. You do everything to hide your pain, your confusion, to keep everyone from seeing the real you.

Where does the answer lie? In the embrace of your kin? In the laws of your society? In the ridiculous myth that has concentrated itself to become religion? Isn’t it funny? That in all this commotion, you fail to see what’s really happening.

Look around you little boy, open your eyes to the truth. You have to realize, we all do the same things. We’re all stuck in this half-life, a meaningless existence. All we can do is to crash into each other and in that instant, form sparks that force us to feel something. Even if this collision only leaves us with more questions, a deep gaping hole of want…it doesn’t matter, because we all know that this is the only way to get through this existence. And who knows, maybe someday…hopefully soon…we get our ultimate reward, the thing we hunger for the most: the last goodbye, the slumber from which there is no awakening…and someday, yes, we will get to rest.

on trials and retribution

There are two words all graduating La Sallian students learn to fear: RELIABILITY RUN...


We had that today and it was...disturbing to say the least. Only five thesis groups defended this term and two out of the five groups failed even before lunch time. I'm thinking I was sooooo right deciding to drop the defense and wait 'til next term.


I would've given everything to graduate this term, but I guess it's just not meant to be.


I just wish the 10 or so MEM graduates this year to hold the banner high and to kick some serious ass in the real world.

post-mortem

Okaaaaaay...I just reviewed my prior post and...DAMN! DO I SOUND SWEET OR WHAT???

eeeew...I almost sound...I dunno...happy...(enter: creepy howling sounds)

Just to keep things in the straight and narrow: I just missed blogging (too much, apparently) and I promise to bring on the wrath of angst in my next posts.

Kudos everyone!!!

and so I'm back...from outerspace!!!

GOD! I MISSED BLOGGING!!!

Where else could you vent off into empty space???

A lot's happened since my self-imposed online silence effected last January. I got off into a good start, academically speaking and I have been working my ass off to meet impossible deadlines. And I'm gald to say...ALL IS GOOD IN JOEYLAND!!!

Although there's a little bump in the road here and there, I've been enjoying my second to the last term. I've even finished my pre-graduation ORIENT3 modules. I'm itching to get out of school and BE A BUM!!!! Bwahahahahahaha...nah...I wanna go to work already. I'm rearing to go to Singapore and work there, and my I bet my brother is sooooo excited to get someone who knows how to cook "edible" food...

Now going to the serious stuff...I've been dealing with issues lately and I have come to resort to ummm..."unorthodox" measures. One of my friends confronted me about the scars on my wrist and I just decided to open up to her. At least it was nice to know that not ALL people freak out when they see my scars. Also, she got on my case...BIG TIME...and she's been making sure I don't go all nasty on myself anytime soon. (Big thanks to CHARM for keeping me alive)

I've also done some pretty neat stuff these past months. I dedicated two Saturdays last February to helping out with Habitat for Humanity's BASECO site. It was refreshing to experience hardships with sense...I got to know the poeple who'll be living in the houses we helped build and they were thanful...to say the least. I remember my high school days working in Habitat's Las Pinas site...

I really hope I can update more often now...just to give you guys an idea of how busy I've been, I have my laptop with me (almost) everyday in school (with free WiFi connection, mind you...) and I still can't update this damn thing...

Oh well...to the truly faithful friends I have who've been visiting this page despite the lack of new stuff, all I can say is...GET A LIFE!!! (go out, do something else besides fester over the wounds of my life...) joke!!!! nah...I really want to thank you guys!

on trying and eventually giving up...

It's official...THIS TERM IS A BITCH!!! My thesismates and I have decided to drop the course. Why you ask? The Department decided to be strict this time...IT JUST SO HAPPENS THEY DECIDED TO IT TO OUR BATCH!!! @$Y!@U$I@$!!!!

Our Deparment in the esteemed college of Engineering is well known for deffered theses. It's easy to justify this fact! We actually make prototypes of our theses y'know? Which other department requires their students to design robots and actually make them???? Huh? Huh? Shit!

The department decided to completely eliminate the deffered status! So it means it's either pass or fail for your damn thesis!!!! Even if you submitt all your requirements on time, you could still fail if you don't pass the reliabilty run!!!!

Whew! And this term is fuckin starting to get on my nerves...

I want to seriously hurt someone...BAD!!!

going back to school sucks!!!

Shit!

I cannot stress enough how I hate this term!!! After experiencing work for a whole year, I must say...I'LL TAKE WORK OVER SCHOOL ANY DAY!!!

Thesis sucks, my classes suck, money sucks...the list just goes on and on...

I just hope I graduate soon so I can start working towards my riches.

to new friendships (hear! hear!)

I'm dedicating this post to a new friend of mine...RUDY!!!

He has restored a little of my faith in the supposedly innate "good" in people. Imagine this, a total stranger, sending me an email comforting me and generously giving advice after he read one of my rants in a Yahoo! Group. Now that is special!

Kudos to you Rudy! I hope the rest of my friends get to know you...

YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!

>hugs<

on both change and permanence...

Whew! Cheers all around! It's another year gone past and a new one dawning on all of us!

As custom dictates...we all have to make pleasantly "breakable" promises:

1. I will continue to be happily plump. Although I do plan to lose a few pounds before my brother's wedding.
2. I promise to try my best to cut down on cab rides this coming school year, especially now that I won't have someone to drive me the whole school week. (As if this is even possible...)
3. I promise to lessen my neurotic tendencies this year. (Bwahahahaha)
4. I will try my bestest (damn that word 'sif) to finish all my thesis requirements within the prescribed timeframe. (GOD HELP US)
5. Oh, and...WORLD PEACE (WTF?!?!)

Hope y'all have a blast this 2006. Remember:

NO REGRETS...

>hugs<

on patience and longing...

Whew! That was a pretty long wait before I found the time to update! I'm feeling much better now...I mean, after that meanstreak that made me write my last post. Don't get me wrong, things aren't peachy around here, it's just that things have made a turn for the better.

I find it amusing that my blogging schedule is closely knit with my clothes-washing schedule. I usually update on the same day I do my laundry. How weird is that??!!!

Well, my older brother is coming home tomorrow. So I guess it's going to be a hectic but nice day. As usual, I'll have to cook something special but it's ok since it's new year's eve.

I'll be back on campus soon. I'm kinda excited, this could very well be my last term. I really hope I finish everything before summer ends. I wanna get a job within the year.

Okay, things are getting too serious (serious=boring hahahaha) I'm also excited about planning my brother's wedding. He'll be home an extra two times this year. Just to smooth things out before the big day on January 2007. I enjoy doing this things...y'know? Fixing the menu, organizing the guest list, and come late September, taking charge of the RSVPs (I'm expecting a spike in my phonebill, from all the follow up calls, I'm saving up for that, bwahahahaha)

I'm expecting good things this new year and I'm hoping to make positive changes in my life. Here here! Let's toast to the new year and all the wonderful possibilities along with it! Cheers!

>hugs< everyone...

On creed and consequence…

My mom and I have had little talks these past few days. My mom was bitching about how expensive my older brother’s January 2007 wedding is getting and it ultimately led to that dreaded conversation about how my dad is a loser because he’s currently jobless (and I’m not counting on him getting one anytime in the foreseeable future…) She was like: “Is he happy with how his life is? Is he content with the way we live now?”

For you to understand my mom’s sentiments, I’ve got a whole lot of explaining to do. Last year, my dad decided to quit his job because he just couldn’t agree with the owner’s (by owner I mean the owner of the company he works for) daughter (who was then running the company, effectively making her his boss…) So my dad, in his usual fevered stupidity brought about by unexplainable (and unhealthy if I might add…) amounts of pride decided to quit, thus, his current BUM status. Ever since, my mom has been the one shouldering expenses. When before, she was synonymous with the word. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if my mom wasn’t a spender, I wouldn’t be enjoying much of the luxuries I have right now.

Enough history talk…so, fastforward to the present. My mom was bitching like hell. Saying how she would stop working after I graduated college and if they ran out of money, they’d just starve to death. I have to say…A+ for the extreme drama, very Academy Award worthy. So I told, her that this was the exact reason why I will never get married, I’d just have affairs ‘til I have a child and would just take the baby with me and leave my partner. I want a kid, not the whole freaking package with the wife and white picket fences.

To sum it all up, my mom concluded that: “no couple could be happy in marriage unless they are financially stable.” I have to agree, but I went on to take it a little further, make it a little bit general: “In life, if you don’t have money, chances are you will never be happy.” And I don’t give a shit what the priests have to say about living a simple life. To me, a simple life is a TV show with two sluts pretending they actually have brains.

But it IS true. You see, the people who are always smiling and generally enjoy their lives are the people with healthy bank accounts. And don’t give me that crap about showbiz personalities being stalked or rich kids being kidnapped. All I said was being rich made you happy; I said nothing about BEING POPULAR.

And how do you become popular when you’re rich? That happens when you can’t keep you money to yourself. It’s either you splurge too much, or in the case of some people who decided they could buy their way to heaven, they open foundations for the friggin poor.

So how do you become rich and happy at the same time? Oh, and yeas it can be done. You could bake your cake and eat it too!!! First, be smart about spending your money. Don’t ever buy dreadfully colored and oh so skimpy couture, Believe me, you don’t need a yacht, trust me, you’ll end up dead in it anyways… And secondly, never share! Yep! You heard me right. Never give a penny to anyone. You worked yourself to the bone trying to earn that money, why give it to them? If someone close to your heart goes to you in dire need of money, see them off and tell them that there are no handouts in the real world! Trust me; they’ll be better learning to cope up alone. Make them face their problems, even if they’re dying, at least they accomplish something.

The only thing worth sharing is misery. Yes folks! The old adage is true. MISERY, DOES LOVE COMPANY! You don’t believe me? Then think back to a time in your life when everything sucked. There are three kinds of people in situations like this. First, there are those who don’t give a shit what happens to you. (Just flip them the finger) Secondly, there are those goody-two-shoes who can’t help but stick their noses in other people’s shit. They are the most annoying, trying to console you and make you feel better. And it doesn’t work. Why? Because they’re happy and they just pity you. The last kind are the people who are in worse conditions. These are the people who ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. Example, you failed a subject, sure, you feel bad, but wait until you see someone get kicked out of school. You’ll feel better, because all in all, you’re well-off compared to that loser!

So, if y’all want to live happy lives, there is only one currency that you should use. It’s not the dollar, it’s not the euro…it’s MISERY…MISERY IS THE CURRENCY OF GREED and most people do well in life by dishing out shitloads of misery and just taking all the money for themselves.

on patience and expectations...

How come the more you wait for something, the more anxious you get about it? Like course card day and xmas right?

My mom stumbled upon a very disarming thought while we were hoarding fruits earlier..."it'll be xmas next week..." I was like: "OMFG! yeah..." and the point is, I don't even know why it surprised me like that!? It's not like I have presents to open anyways...my mom and sister kinda gave me my presents already. So xmas isn't entirely a huge gift-opening event for me.

And besides...for us, (my family, I mean...) xmas doesn't happen 'til the 31st. Because that's when my brother gets to visit us again. I'm still dreaming about a new PSP...(hope my brother gets THAT ONE right!!!) not that I need it, I just want another distraction. Warcraft has lost its magic for me...I'm still trying to get my filthy hands on a copy of the DotA map though.

On the brighter side, the telly downstairs got fixed earlier. So it's safe to say that my usual morning migration (I used to transfer downstairs after my mom turns off the airconditioning in the morning, it's much cooler down there) will resume. I was so stoked that I even transferred my PS2 down there, hehehehe. I'm gonna plant my fat ass on that sofa come tomorrow morning!!!

I just hope New Year's comes quickly...let's just get through xmas so I can get on with the REAL fun...before school starts of course! (sucks...BIG TIME!!!) So not looking forward to that...