on reciprocity...

"Reciprocity"...to reciprocate...to give in turn...to give in equal...

...a word that has been plaguing the headlines recently. The new Pope asking for equal rights on Muslim soil as with the rights extended to their bretheren in western nations.

Reciprocity is not merely Christian propaganda but a mere impossibility. When base human nature is dictated by greed or by our own selfish emotions, do we honestly have room for equality?

I have this friend Kel - from work. Well, he has...or as of this morning, had...this auntie who suffered from bone cancer. Among the family, he was the only person who wouldn't accept the hopelessness of the situation. The gravity of the mere possibility of death never had a pull on him. He was a fighter, just like his aunt was a fighter. I just heard a few hours ago that his aunt finally passed. According to reciprocity, or just basic equality, he should be given his dues. Then why must he suffer the greatest? Why do the bonds that connected him to his aunt, the same bonds that he held on to so tightly now cause him this pain?

I recently had a fight with one of my workmates, Ting. I called her a scatterbrain in front of the whole team. She cried, lots of drama that was...but we worked it out. Now, we have this fucking queer teammate who just happens to disagree with my brusque approach two days ago, when I berrated Ting. As usual, the fucking cunt rolled his eyes and told me about his grievances...HIS GRIEVANCES mind you!? Now what's wrong with this picture? Ting and I had a disagreement, now why the fuck does this bitch react so...so...
...it's like we two are having the fight instead. Come on you idiot!!! And I'm not one for drama myself. I wanted to break this spineless freak's neck the whole fucking day! Showing me attitude like that when Ting and I made up already and were even eating together. This freaking Bedan who studied in Australia (as proven by his awfully mispronounced English) who actually thinks he's something note-worthy. Pathetic existence. He just happens to be a really funny Nora Aunor cum President Arroyo impersonator that never fails to make people laugh. What a joke! The earth should just open up and swallow him up.

Reciprocity...just another useless word in the dictionary...

on expectations and excitement

The holidays are fast approaching and I'm working my ass of for some decent money to make my pseudo-"off-work"-sabbatical enjoyable at the least.

I'm already getting tons of email from family living abroad about their flight plans and whatnot. I'm excited most of all about my brother's return. I'm looking forward to the wedding due, in large part, to the would-be presence of mouth-watering food. The possibility of him bringing me his graduation cum birthday cum christmas is also note worthy. I'm just waiting for my baby to reach my lap and eager, greasy hands.



On to the present...

I was seriously annoyed last night when I found out that my secret santa at work was the oh-so irresponsible, can't-count-on-him, Wilson!!!


Which pretty much meant I had no gift earlier. Needless to say I'm looking forward to four more "giftless" Saturdays...WHICH, by the way, won't stop me from buying cool gifts for Jana (my baby).

I'm also looking for someone who'd be willing to go with me to the corporate xmas party. BESIDES my sister...

O well, just three more weeks before I jet.

on farewells and Ta-Ta's...

I've finally decided to resign from my current job on December 22. That'll be it, no more working 'til all family festivities are over.

At least I get to spend Christmas with everyone. That's a big deal in our house. More so now that the whole family will be here for my brother's wedding...

If you look close enough, you'll actually see tons of ants swarming their sweetness.

But I have to say, I'll miss them:

on bitter endings and sweet beginnings...

I've pretty much considered this blog dead. After the pressures of college life ended I almost went full on against my job. I had no time to rest and no time to spare looking for hotspots or to even lug my laptop around with me.

Graduation was fine. I got goosebumps when we were made to transfer the tassle from one side to the other. But that's it... No glowing feeling, no special ingkling inside to throw my graduation cap to high heavens (except maybe to drop on the bimbo's head - aka "she who hath no idea what she was yapping about during her graduation speech").

I expected too much from the affair. Maybe I wanted to cry, y'know? To signal that I am no longer a happy-go-lucky college student who had the world at his fingertips...to welcome the fact that I am now a fledgling engineer struggling to prove himself. But I guess the fact that I have been working for the last two trimesters of my scholastic life sapped the "naivite" out of it all.

I'm not that stupid graduate clutching his portfolio close to his chest wondering if he can get a job that pays him more than his monthly allowance. I now knew how shitty life was. How a diploma from my oh-so-distinguished alma mater can only help you stick your foot in the door. The cold hard fact was that I knew how much it sucked to work. I knew that government taxes are like highway robbery against what you earn. I know how managers get to go on two-hour lunches while I had ask permission just to pee.

I have long since been disenchanted by the "real world". I already know that youth is like alcohol, it tastes bad in the beginning (childhood), then you get the buzz (teenage years), then you get drunk and forget your inhibitions (college), and then YOU FUCKING WAKE UP WITH THE WORST GODDAMN HANG-OVER. Reality sucks...deal with it.

I wonder if we'd still look like this ten years from now.