on patience and longing...

Whew! That was a pretty long wait before I found the time to update! I'm feeling much better now...I mean, after that meanstreak that made me write my last post. Don't get me wrong, things aren't peachy around here, it's just that things have made a turn for the better.

I find it amusing that my blogging schedule is closely knit with my clothes-washing schedule. I usually update on the same day I do my laundry. How weird is that??!!!

Well, my older brother is coming home tomorrow. So I guess it's going to be a hectic but nice day. As usual, I'll have to cook something special but it's ok since it's new year's eve.

I'll be back on campus soon. I'm kinda excited, this could very well be my last term. I really hope I finish everything before summer ends. I wanna get a job within the year.

Okay, things are getting too serious (serious=boring hahahaha) I'm also excited about planning my brother's wedding. He'll be home an extra two times this year. Just to smooth things out before the big day on January 2007. I enjoy doing this things...y'know? Fixing the menu, organizing the guest list, and come late September, taking charge of the RSVPs (I'm expecting a spike in my phonebill, from all the follow up calls, I'm saving up for that, bwahahahaha)

I'm expecting good things this new year and I'm hoping to make positive changes in my life. Here here! Let's toast to the new year and all the wonderful possibilities along with it! Cheers!

>hugs< everyone...

On creed and consequence…

My mom and I have had little talks these past few days. My mom was bitching about how expensive my older brother’s January 2007 wedding is getting and it ultimately led to that dreaded conversation about how my dad is a loser because he’s currently jobless (and I’m not counting on him getting one anytime in the foreseeable future…) She was like: “Is he happy with how his life is? Is he content with the way we live now?”

For you to understand my mom’s sentiments, I’ve got a whole lot of explaining to do. Last year, my dad decided to quit his job because he just couldn’t agree with the owner’s (by owner I mean the owner of the company he works for) daughter (who was then running the company, effectively making her his boss…) So my dad, in his usual fevered stupidity brought about by unexplainable (and unhealthy if I might add…) amounts of pride decided to quit, thus, his current BUM status. Ever since, my mom has been the one shouldering expenses. When before, she was synonymous with the word. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if my mom wasn’t a spender, I wouldn’t be enjoying much of the luxuries I have right now.

Enough history talk…so, fastforward to the present. My mom was bitching like hell. Saying how she would stop working after I graduated college and if they ran out of money, they’d just starve to death. I have to say…A+ for the extreme drama, very Academy Award worthy. So I told, her that this was the exact reason why I will never get married, I’d just have affairs ‘til I have a child and would just take the baby with me and leave my partner. I want a kid, not the whole freaking package with the wife and white picket fences.

To sum it all up, my mom concluded that: “no couple could be happy in marriage unless they are financially stable.” I have to agree, but I went on to take it a little further, make it a little bit general: “In life, if you don’t have money, chances are you will never be happy.” And I don’t give a shit what the priests have to say about living a simple life. To me, a simple life is a TV show with two sluts pretending they actually have brains.

But it IS true. You see, the people who are always smiling and generally enjoy their lives are the people with healthy bank accounts. And don’t give me that crap about showbiz personalities being stalked or rich kids being kidnapped. All I said was being rich made you happy; I said nothing about BEING POPULAR.

And how do you become popular when you’re rich? That happens when you can’t keep you money to yourself. It’s either you splurge too much, or in the case of some people who decided they could buy their way to heaven, they open foundations for the friggin poor.

So how do you become rich and happy at the same time? Oh, and yeas it can be done. You could bake your cake and eat it too!!! First, be smart about spending your money. Don’t ever buy dreadfully colored and oh so skimpy couture, Believe me, you don’t need a yacht, trust me, you’ll end up dead in it anyways… And secondly, never share! Yep! You heard me right. Never give a penny to anyone. You worked yourself to the bone trying to earn that money, why give it to them? If someone close to your heart goes to you in dire need of money, see them off and tell them that there are no handouts in the real world! Trust me; they’ll be better learning to cope up alone. Make them face their problems, even if they’re dying, at least they accomplish something.

The only thing worth sharing is misery. Yes folks! The old adage is true. MISERY, DOES LOVE COMPANY! You don’t believe me? Then think back to a time in your life when everything sucked. There are three kinds of people in situations like this. First, there are those who don’t give a shit what happens to you. (Just flip them the finger) Secondly, there are those goody-two-shoes who can’t help but stick their noses in other people’s shit. They are the most annoying, trying to console you and make you feel better. And it doesn’t work. Why? Because they’re happy and they just pity you. The last kind are the people who are in worse conditions. These are the people who ACTUALLY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. Example, you failed a subject, sure, you feel bad, but wait until you see someone get kicked out of school. You’ll feel better, because all in all, you’re well-off compared to that loser!

So, if y’all want to live happy lives, there is only one currency that you should use. It’s not the dollar, it’s not the euro…it’s MISERY…MISERY IS THE CURRENCY OF GREED and most people do well in life by dishing out shitloads of misery and just taking all the money for themselves.

on patience and expectations...

How come the more you wait for something, the more anxious you get about it? Like course card day and xmas right?

My mom stumbled upon a very disarming thought while we were hoarding fruits earlier..."it'll be xmas next week..." I was like: "OMFG! yeah..." and the point is, I don't even know why it surprised me like that!? It's not like I have presents to open anyways...my mom and sister kinda gave me my presents already. So xmas isn't entirely a huge gift-opening event for me.

And besides...for us, (my family, I mean...) xmas doesn't happen 'til the 31st. Because that's when my brother gets to visit us again. I'm still dreaming about a new PSP...(hope my brother gets THAT ONE right!!!) not that I need it, I just want another distraction. Warcraft has lost its magic for me...I'm still trying to get my filthy hands on a copy of the DotA map though.

On the brighter side, the telly downstairs got fixed earlier. So it's safe to say that my usual morning migration (I used to transfer downstairs after my mom turns off the airconditioning in the morning, it's much cooler down there) will resume. I was so stoked that I even transferred my PS2 down there, hehehehe. I'm gonna plant my fat ass on that sofa come tomorrow morning!!!

I just hope New Year's comes quickly...let's just get through xmas so I can get on with the REAL fun...before school starts of course! (sucks...BIG TIME!!!) So not looking forward to that...

on friendship, catching up, and getting royally screwed...

I missed doing this...y'know, just airing my thoughts, not a care in the world...it doesn't matter who gets to read this shit anyway...it wouldn't hold up in court.

It's been officially three days (time check: 1:32AM December 14) since my little "get-together" last Sunday. It was a day of ups and downs to say the least...

I told the people who actually gave a damn that they should come over lunch time onwards 'cause my mom and I'll be pretty pre-occupied cooking and preparing shit in the morning. So little dumb me was actually expecting people to come over around...I dunno...noonish? The only things that arrived around lunch time were 4 SMSs: 2 informing me of cancellations and 2 informing me of "possible", no, scratch that, more like: "probable" cancellations. So I was like: "ok, so two people aren't coming and two are kinda lost...cool..." I got my first ray of sunshine when Van asked for directions to my house from Makati, which I willingly gave, I even called her to explain the directions clearly...

Then, Philip arrived, we ate, with my family (because we all decided to dig in because people were surely taking their sweet time arriving...). We decided to play a little PS2...then Joey (Joetech, as he's known in school...because I'm THE Joey...hehehe) arrived too which was fun because we got to catch up, then Herbert popped up, we had a blast sharing stories and generally just enjoying friendly banter.

That's when I got the biggest fuckin load of SMSs telling me how sorry my "friends" were for not being able to come...so I took it all in stride but I ended up thinking: "that's gonna be a whole boatload of leftovers my family and I have to endure the entire week,or month..."

I got a nice surprise right about then...Jona showed-up for a little dessert (because she had this little sumthin-sumthin going on in her house as well) with her cousin.

I was just enjoying my friends' company when the inevitable goodbyes came. Jona and her cousin were there just a while 'cause they had to get back home soon. Joey and Herbert decided to leave together. The dreaded question finally came...my mom asked: "will someone else be coming? or can I start packing the food already?" God! What a bummer!!! But Ren and her new catch decided to come and they had fun eating the spinach...hehehe.

That's when I decided to end the day. While I was feeding the dogs that evening, I thought long and hard...I even asked my sister if birthdays did lose their "special" quality as you got older. She replied with a simple, sincere, and ghastly "YES"...

That's when I decided: THIS'LL BE THE LAST TIME I EVER CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY...

Not that I'm bitter or anything...heck! My friends did have good excuses...It's just that, when I'm old, and when I think back on the birthdays I've had, I wanna remember good times y'know? Not disasters dealing with flakes and architecs (drawing...). I think it's better that way. I already had a taste of how sucky your birthday can get last 2004 when my family just skipped the whole "it's my friggin birthday today" fact. I think I'll just have a beer next year and contemplate on my biological clock counting down to my ultimate doom. Well...your birthday is just another day in a year right? What so special about that?

my, my, how time flies...

Just four days left'til the big 21!!! I can't say I'm excited about adding on another year, but I'm sure as hell am excited to see my friends again! There'll be tons of food and light booze to go around...but I can't say it'll be a party, just a small gathering, me thinks...

Makes me wonder, how fast time flies! Earlier, we went to Echage (hope I spelled that right) in Quiapo to buy the Chinese ham my mom and I love sooooo much! Me like it so much we decided to buy the rest of the family (the clan...) a ham for each family too! Plus Edam cheese! This of course was made possible by the cash gift by my two titas who live in Perth.

We decided to trot on to Makati to do our groceries. My mom told us that the grocery would be a free for all, which meant I could grab anything and she would pay for it! Talk about frenzy! I got tons of junk food, plus the other stuff we'll be needing for Sunday's little get-together. I was stomped when I realized we arrived at Glorietta at 4PM!!! I was wondering, where the hell did my day go??? I mean, I feel like I woke up a couple of hours ago...and now its friggin 4 in the afternoon!

Whew, so we raced through our grocery shopping. I also tried to get my dad to buy me a pair of sunglasses I'm longing to have (refer to prior post) and HE DID!!! This was a good day!

I can't wait 'til Sunday comes a'knocking...although my birthday doesn't pop out 'tiL Monday though.

>hugs<

mad dash...

Two days ago, I decided to try and scope out the malls. Y'know the feeling when you're walking the aisles, then you see a window display and you just think of someone...FUCK! I forgot to buy him/her a gift! Well...I was doing that. Trying to jolt my mind into remembering all the people I should buy gifts for.

I was out with my sister and my brother's fiance...when Edissa (the fiance) decided to do her xmas shopping. I was fine with it until she told us she had 21 FRIGGIN GODCHILDREN!!! (if I remember correctly...) How the hell were we supposed to deal with that? Plus the added pressure of my own list of goodies I had to buy (my mom decided to humor me last minute when she suddenly gave me a shopping list before we headed out)...and her list wasn't simple either! I had to buy goild foil (to make crowns for my tita's presentation - refer to prior posts), then I had to look for acrylic gems that she would use to adorn the crown, there was also the great hunt to find readily available official receipt forms (man! I had no idea there were lots of them: OR, PR, invoice...) and of course, a new tube of dog shampoo...I remember I have to give the doggies a bath before my little birthday gathering on Sunday.

Needless to say, I was thankful I decided to wear slippers that day.

It doesn't even end there. I saw this cool bag that was on sale and then I saw a pair of sunglasses (the exact same ones I've been drooling over for a few weeks now - much thanks to my sister's hawkeye vision) so I was stuck! I mean talk about dilemma huh?

I finally decided to buy the bag earlier (via my sister who went out to meet old friends...as if she didn't have her wisdom tooth extracted) and I also told her to get the shampoo (which we forgot to buy...)

Don't you just love xmas? It's a whole new level of stress...

another one bites the dust...

Damn! What is it with the "grace" period before xmas??!! People are dying left and right! We just visited my ninang earlier to pay our respects to her departed mom.

I just saw her early this year, for her 90+++ (sorry...I honestly forgot...) birthday celebration! This old lady was rockin! I mean, she's really cool and fun to be with. I'm even willing to trade my grandparents for her y'know?

And then we find out she's gone...sucks! BIG TIME!!!

I just hope the holiday spirit picks-up soon. I'm worried that I'll spend the entire holiday season in black! Don't get me wrong, I loooove wearing black (the number of black shirts in my closet is a testament to that!) but I wanna wear pastels again...

on death and brutality...

This weekend, a friend of mine died. His name is Lenard and is a year younger than me. He is a very promising med student and an awesome friend to all those who knew him. Late Saturday night, he was found groggy by the service road in the Alabang area. The tanods who found him saw a bloody mess. He was immediately brought to a hospital where the doctors found out that he had SEVN FUCKING STAB WOUNDS IN HIS FUCKING CHEST!!!

His last words to his mom were: "MOM, I CAN'T BREATHE..." after wich he died in the arms of his father.

The single thing I pray for isn't even Lenard's soul...he's too good a person to need my help in the faith department (if you pick a fight with this guy, he cries...he won't fight back...EVER!!!) I pray that when his killers get caught, they get skinned alive and their bodies fed to fuckin dogs. Get this, Lenard had all of his possessions when the tanods found him, which means he wasn't killed for money, HE WAS KILLED FOR SPORT!!!

I wish that I can just get 5 minutes with the bastards who did this to him...I swear to all that is good and holy, I'M GONNA MAKE THEM PAY...

In doing this, I am aware that I prove myslef no better than Lenard's assailants, but who cares anyways??? The twisted animals that killed him didn't care, all possible witnesses don't care, the tanods (oh believe me, they KNOW who did it...) don't care, and most of all, whoever is sitting on his big ass UP THERE doesn't give a shit about what happened. Doesn't HE know that Lenard was a genuinely swell guy??? Lenard deserved a peaceful and painless death, BUT NO! Someone decided to bring him a lot of fuckin pain!!!

I hope this shit never happens to any of you guys...(except if you're guilty in even the slightest way, in which case...I wish this upon you a THOUSAND FOLD!)