disarmed by a few chosen words...

I just paused for a little while chatting with a good friend of mine, Herbert, via YM right now. It's feels good catching up with someone I haven't spoken with for the longest time. It happens now, when he's in India for business, last time we chatted was when he was waiting for his connecting flight back in Singapore, but face to face??? We're talking about years here... Fueled by my background music, (think Feeder, Death Cab for Cutie, The Fray, Snow Patrol, Mae, Copeland, Daphne Loves Derby, and Keane) the conversation obviously took a quick turn to sentimental talk.

Herbert was one of my first friends in college. We saw each other a lot of times before being formally introduced during LPEP and Orientation. He's also one of the very few (with Melle and Joetech) I was classmates with during my frosh years whom I still call friend until now. After the usual hi's and hello's, this became the focus of our conversation. This all happened while he was checking his email in the hotel and I'm downloading Heroes episodes.

My relationship with my Froshie friends was unstable at best. Our friendship was built upon gimmicks, movies and late night parties...none of which my parents approved of. I ask myself, was I destined to lose much of my friends? Was it my fault that I couldn't hold on to them? Was I being weak in letting one friend ruin my friendship with others? Whatever the answers might be to these questions, I still cherish the friends I DID manage to keep. I managed to survive with them through a lot.

Herbert just told me to look at the friends I have. He referred to them as a "Diamond Mine" and he told me I was in his "Golden List" of friends. It's amazing how much he hasn't changed! It might have been years since we saw each other, but he could still read me like an open book. Knowing how I felt and responding as he deemed fit. I'm really thankful for the friends I have. My froshie buddies combined with my MEM friends. Now who could beat that?! I'm glad I have Mich and Sheena to talk with in the morning and Herbert and Joetech at night.

Who are we to measure ourselves? What should we measure ourselves against? In the end, it seems like our friends know us better than we know ourselves...

tech bits and pleasant distractions...

I'm still waiting for Yahoo! Mail Beta to go out of beta...why you ask? I actually don't know myself...hahahaha. Nah! I'm just hoping they offer seamless import/export from other RSS update services because there is no way in hell I'll retype all the RSS addresses one by one!!! I'm currently using Google Reader to stay on top of things but I kinda figured, why not put it all in one page right? I'm so used to switching between tabs that I hadn't figured this one out 'til now. Oh well enough crying over spilled milk, I'll just wait 'til they offer RSS importing in Y!Mail beta.

Now, second strike from Yahoo. I haven't received any updates about Yahoo! Go yet!!! They've moved on to a Gamma version when I signed up for it since Beta!!! Darn...it's ok I guess. I'm in the early stages of my transition to Mac anyway. In a couple of months, it wouldn't matter anymore. I'll just hold on to YM and all my Google accounts, at least those that will not be replaced by .Mac services.

Finally, presenting my new craving, the long awaited distraction...



I'm hopelessly addicted!!!

on the verge...

It seems like I have finally managed to ruffle my mom's feathers. You know what she suggested we do tomorrow? She asked me if...no, scratch that, she TOLD me that we were going to hear mass tomorrow morning. Let me tell you, my mom will never ever ask you to go to church unless she feels you need it...BAD.

It is now officially one week and five days since my first sortie with the nice people in Amkor. After that very eventful day, I was advised that they will contact me for further information within a period of two weeks. As it stands, I have received neither phone call, SMS, email, nor good'ol snail mail from them. This is apparently being viewed by my mother as a possibly life threatening issue. (Hahahaha...)

The financial status of this household is near stable at best. With dad quitting his job and my brother still recovering from his rockstar wedding, this family's main source of income is my sister's work which, suffice, to say is not nearly enough. The only other source would be money coming in from my mom's work (which is not as consistent as we would like) since the school bus is just earning enough to pay for petrol and repairs thanks in large part to the gutless, useless and INSOLENT (he actually has the guts to order my mom, the woman he gets his salary from, around!?) driver. To say that this family needs any potential income I can bring in is a gross understatement.

The electric bill is quite acceptable since there have been no huge fluctuations there. Food is ok...I mean, I have yet (thankfully!) to experience hunger. I am planning on having my postpaid line cut but I will have to wait until I finish my two year contract, since I am not confident with my ability to pay this particular service on time. There is also the matter of the nine remaining payments on my (once) brand new mobile phone. After I have taken care of these problems, it goes without saying that I will start to cut back on other things.

I have also re-evaluated my professional plans. Once March hits and there is STILL no assurance from Amkor about the job, I will again (I hate to say this) reapply for a call center job. I think three weeks is a good enough amount of time to wait for any sign coming from the high heavens. I will also stop requesting for management positions when applying for call center jobs and I'll start accepting agent positions. The best I can hope for is a Technical Service Representative position, which pays nominally higher salaries.

If I don't get the job from Amkor within my desired time frame, I will start purging all connections to my college degree. I think this is a reasonable decision taking into account what my degree has done for me so far. The only good thing about my degree is the University from which it came from, making it easier for me to leapfrog above most idiots from crappy schools who apply for a position I like. I'm currently viewing job openings at Teletech because they have an office nearby at the SM office buildings across the Mall of Asia and Dell (again...) as well.

I honestly think it's high time to swallow any bit of pride left in me and just accept the fact that I need to start earning money for this family. Yes, I have finally accepted that we had no say in picking which parents bore us. I have similarly stopped blaming God for everything that has gone wrong in my life, deciding instead to redirect my energies to questioning his existence...think of it as a sort of Theo-Philosophical retaliation from my part.

I still promise to behave in a rational and civilized manner when dealing with everyone but I will also start severing ties with most people. People who mostly remind me of what a failure I have become. In so doing this, I believe it lessens the pain of living each day.

Coming into the stone and cement structure of our parish church tomorrow, I shall stand, sit , and kneel at the proper intervals but I REFUSE TO BEG WHOMEVER IS REPRESENTED BY THE WOOD AND CERAMIC IDOLS INSIDE THE CHURCH FOR A CHANCE AT EMPLOYMENT. I honestly believe with every fiber of my being that I have given enough to this forsaken world to be given at least an inch in return. I may be an asshole but I am not a selfish asshole. I have done my part in giving what I can to humanity, now it's humanity's turn to give me something back!

This entire post might sound just a little bit weird or even pyscho to most people and maybe they are right in assuming such. I for one will not vouch for my own well being...hahahaha.

I now remember the words of my third year high school chemistry laboratory teacher. When I told her: "That is not fair!!!" the reasons surrounding my retort have been lost in time, but I will never forget her reply...

"Darling, whoever said life was fair?" she speaks the truth...

cleansing...

I didn't post anything new for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!! Wow...I don't know why, I just ran out of things to say. Sure, I could've written stuff here, but what's the point in doing that if I were to do it just to make sure I have a post for each day that passes by? Maybe I was drained. I was inclined to discover than nothing happening in my life right now is even remotely interesting to other people.

My ideas come from my interaction with other people. I only capture different movements in my life. So...what happens when things start to stagnate? That is where I am right now. My life is sooo dull, I've resorted to writing about how dull it is. It's like a catharsis of this stagnation that's threatening to strip me of everything that makes me interesting, unique. I'm giving life to my troubles, my boredom. Blindly hoping that by doing so, it makes it possible to fight my problems. Giving them form and an admittedly stupid sense of tangibility should empower me to deal with them right?

I am running out of ideas (repeating it doesn't make it less significant, so it seems...) and I am falling prey to my mistakes. YES, it was a mistake resigning last December. YES, it was a mistake to rely on my brother's success in Singapore too much. YES, it was and still is a mistake to rationalize all my problems and blaming them all on dad. YES, it was a mistake to put aside my opinions and dumbly follow my mom and brother when I applied for my course. YES, it was a mistake to place my future in my brothers hands and an EVEN BIGGER MISTAKE following in his foot steps. Finally, YES, it was a mistake thinking that I could be successful even though I gave up most of my wants and gave way to my mom, dad, and brother's every whim.

Presenting my stupidity in a list like this does help. People might say it is foolish of me to dwell on past errors, but I would say that it is a lot more foolish of me to admit that (as it is made apparent by my list) I haven't been able to learn from any of my past mistakes. I believe I have sacrificed too much of myself. I have lost the real "ME" in the process of being a good son and brother.

I have done so well in hiding the truth, MY TRUTH, that even I am not sure what I WANTED FROM THE START. It's too far in the past. All I can do is shed tears while I am typing this down. A memoir of my mistakes in life. Easier remembered than my achievements.

REALITY HAS BECOME, AT LEAST FOR ME, A MATTER OF EARNING MONEY AND MAKING SURE THAT ALTHOUGH I WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY BE MISERABLE MY ENTIRE LIFE, AT LEAST I WOULD BE "COMFORTABLY" MISERABLE. Any success that I will garner from here on out will mean nothing to me. I exist to make my parents happy, to make my brother proud, and to make sure my sister always has a smile on her face. I have always lived my life for others, and it is to late to start living it for myself.

Sure, I'm just twenty-two, but what choice do I have? After doing one thing for so long, is there any chance of successfully doing anything else? After giving so much, is there enough of me left? I honestly doubt this...

zapped...

I'm totally drained. I need a change in scenery. I have been stuck at home for over two months now! This is driving me insane. This feels worse than when I quit smoking. I'm running out of things to do. If you want a better picture of my oh so nasty situation, I'll give you a peek:



See those? They are all anime DVDs that a good friend of mine, Ardex, burned for me. There are multiple episodes per disc, around 20-23 I think, and I am almost done watching them all! My eyes have also deteriorated because I only rest them when I'm eating or sleeping! Other than that, my eyes are glued to the boobtube or they're busy running over my laptop's screen!

To say that I'm living an inactive lifestyle is a massive understatement. I haven't even been out in the sun except when running a few errands. I have renewed respect for all the criminals in jail. I now know that their lives truly suck!

The internet has evolved from my being my playground to being my entire world. My only escape from boredom, even now, it's beginning to fail me in that sense. I wouldn't have conceived myself saying this just a few months back, but the internet is quickly becoming boring! I've gone through all the sites that usually hold my interest for a while and then some! The heat emanating from the bottom of my laptop is burning a hole through the floor!

All I need is a pleasant distraction...

a pact set in stone...

One last, promise!

Keeks and I have been talking about our plans to leave the country and build our lives abroad. She also made me promise that in the future, even though my friends and I are all living separate lives, we would still take the time to catch up and communicate with each other. I, of course, said yes.

This got me thinking. Out of all the relationships I built in my life, how many are still standing? I really wish everything could stay the way they are. Just like back in college, everything was simpler and we all managed to have fun through it all. I remember my best friend when I was in Kinder Garden, Krissy. In all honesty, we haven't talked since we graduated that year.

Very much like this country. Did Rizal, Bonifacio, Aguinaldo, and all the other heroes think that the democracy they fought for would bear fruit like this? Did they intend for the constitution to be used against the government's constituents, the same people it was made to protect? We can't help but question the results of our actions today. History shows us that intent has nothing to do with the future. The future happens despite (not because) of our intentions. I may very well and sincerely want to stay in touch with all my friends, because they represent all that was good in my younger (makes me feel old, using this word) years.

Are our promises really set in stone? And for that matter, what assurance do we have that the feelings of brotherhood and warmth we have towards our friends today will survive all the years being apart?

the winds of change are picking up speed...

Just breaking news before I succumb to sleep. I'm currently chatting with a close friend of mine, Keeks, via YM. She just dropped a huge bomb on me right now. She'll be taking up NURSING this April.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against nurses, but we're talking about a girl who finished the same course I did. Imagine, from being an engineer trained in programming, electronics, robotics...to being a nurse!? What am I to say? Well, I wished her the best of luck because she deserves nothing less. I imagine that I'll have renewed respect for all nurses once I see Keeks donning their uniform.

You are definitely blazing your own path. From what I've heard, you are pretty sure of this. All the best to you in your endeavors Keeks! You certainly deserve success in all your dealings in life.

truth...

Now that I've covered Mich's request, I can get down to business.

Have any of you played "20 Questions" or perhaps the better known "Truth or Consequence/Dare" and even the infamous "Spin the Bottle"? What makes these games such hits in parties and sleepovers? Or in my case, what makes it such a good distraction, a perfect way to pass idle time?

I remember interning for Intel and incorporating 20 Questions into my boring MoRV routine. Mich (wow! two posts, back to back! you must fee really special right now huh? :p) and I would go into the production line and validate machines which is super boring. There's this one tool in the Burn-In process that takes extra time to validate. The ovens! Mich would usually help me out and we'd have a good round of 20 questions. Even when we're bringing in JAFS (peoplespeak: Jigs and Fixtures = tables, chairs, etc.) I'd make it a point to throw in a couple of questions here and there.

Fact is, TRUTH IS quickly becoming A SCARCE COMMODITY. In our age and time, we have mastered every aspect of covering or even sometimes altering the truth which is actually unnerving. It's so easy adding a well placed word or two in our online profiles. Some people have even resorted to editing their photos to get desired results. Hacking and Identity Theft are so common nowadays that some countries have created agencies to deal with Internet/Technological Crimes.

Although I would be the first to admit that I have skeletons in the closet, (pun intended) I can't believe that I try soooo hard to cover up or change even the simple stuff. We change our preferences to suit our environment. We go to upitty places when we're with our well off friends while we just go to McDonald's with others. I know people who hate coffee who drink lattes like caffeine addicts suffering a relapse in Starbucks.

In a world where "being yourself" could lead to your demise, just how much are we willing to cover up or even change? And is it possible to go in so deep under cover that we actually begin to forget who we really are?

one blatant shoutout and a tech update as well...

I was into my favorite hobby the entire day. To make sure my working friends don't get a decent chance to do their duties!!! The wonders of instant messaging allow me to annoy my closest friends. One of which is my college best friend Mich!

Working in a tech firm, she doesn't have that much access to the worldwide web. Although you can always find her lurking inside YM! Suffice to say, she doesn't read my blog (me=hurt!) and apparently she had a good excuse. She couldn't open the blogger and multiply websites! Yikes!

So, being the self-confessed web addict that I was, I decided to find a way to let her see my blog (vested interest? nah, just being helpful) at any cost! (Insert tech update here) So I shared one of my latest discoveries. Although Google Reader isn't exactly THAT new (webspeak: out of Beta) and probably was introduced shortly after RSS became widespread, I just began using it these past few weeks. So I told Mich to go into the Google Reader site (to which she didn't know that her GMail account would work...) and just subscribe to my blog's RSS feed.

I got her set up quickly and dare I say without too much difficulty. She began her assault on my blog, even taking time to digest the older entries. This is when she actually informed me of a little known fact...SHE WASN'T MENTIONED "PERSONALLY" IN ANY OF MY POSTS!!! Which, she surprisingly found insulting. Hahahahahaha.

So here I am, hitting (the proverbial) two birds with one stone!

shifting gears...

This is the first time in quite a while that I'll be writing something in the morning. Well, decent morning hours at least. Not the usual 1-3 AM when dawn comes a little later still.

Nothings is that different in the morning actually. I'm just a lot sleepier, it's warmer (that's putting it nicely, it's actually scorching hot) and it's the time of day I see my dad's face a lot. So yeah, I concede, I enjoy late nights a lot more. SO SUE ME!

I absolutely abhor mornings. Everyone is sooo busy, moving about like little ants or bees, contributing to society. People are best when they're quiet, asleep or dead. That way I actually get to keep my sanity. Morning for me is like being stuck in one of those shared dreams by the Brady Bunch. Simply put: the sunlight hurts my eyes, the heat burns, my throat is always parched, my skin is clammy, and I tend to see "active" people more often. Also, to answer your question: NO, I am not a loner and I am neither sociopathic nor vampiric.

true colors...

My family lives with a perky, upbeat person who is, unfortunately, high maintenance at times. My friends (y'know, people you hang out with) see me as the all-smiles type of person who doesn't know a whole lot about being street smart. My coworkers interact with a friendly Jowee everyday. Someone who's game for anything, whose zeal for camaraderie greatly outweighs even company policies. This, in general, is the Jowee that they see:



However, it was brought to my attention just a few hours ago how dual I can get. Edissa (my brother's wife, remember?) and I had this unexpected (to say the least) chat (via YM) earlier. It seems, that in my desire to have people read my blog again, I inadvertently opened my blog to my family - a big "NO-NO" for me ever since I started this. Well, it's not my paranoia that I'm getting at right now. I was actually surprised by how close she got to the truth. I wasn't alarmed (yeah right!) or anything. It just got me thinking how much of an airhead I must appear to be in public.

Although this idea brings a smile to my face, (after all, who doesn't enjoy playing the part of a common place jester?) it doesn't sit well with me that I am probably conveying an almost Schizophrenic-like exterior. In a world where privacy is becoming a rare commodity, would you be willing to sacrifice your public facade? It seems that I have stumbled upon another one of life's stupid enigmas.

"Which is the real me?", I now ask...does anyone really know? Even I don't...

voices...

No...I'm not hearing voices. I'm not THAT weird!

It's just amazing how many ideas, notions, thoughts and decisions pass through our heads with each second. We always say our minds are accustomed to change and we are very adaptable because of this. My theory is, people are just simply fickle minded.

Yeah. It's no mystery. We're just looking for fancy words and noble reasons to justify our actions. For example, you need to buy an item (assuming of course, that you're not a compulsive buyer) we tend to look around first. We make sure we get the "best value" for our money. The same goes with everything else.

We have this idea that we only deserve the best and we shouldn't settle for anything less. Another testament to human pride. We envelope our selves in this perfect and wonderful illusion. We dream so much that we forget where reality ends and our dreamscape begins.

Another reason for our never ending delusion is hope. Hope is nothing but an idea we cling to when it becomes clear that nothing will go right. When we succeed, we thank ourselves for being hopeful. Lets set a scenario that proves there is no such thing as hope.

During the 9/11 attacks in New York, 2602 people died (bodies found) adn only a handful survived. Adam Mayblum was on of the lucky survivors and he is heavy into the idea that the heroism of the people involved is amazing. We could just imagine how he must've felt during the incident. We must also accept the fact that it is easy to sound heroic once the details are coming out of your mouth. He must've hoped at some given time that he wouldn't die right then and there. He might have even prayed to his god. He must be thankful right now...cherishing his life more.

Well, how about the other 2602 people, and not mentioning the 4 people that are still "missing"? I would expect that they too prayed and hoped that they would survive. So does this mean that hope is as fickle as we are? It's much easier to summize that there is no such thing as hope. It is not a tangible idea, a mere figment of our imaginations.

Wake up. Smell reality wafting through the air.

"Unfortunately, no one can be shown what the matrix is..." - Morpheus (The Matrix, duh?!)

leafing through the written pages of my life...

I had a bad case of the "reminiscing" virus today. I went on a binge trip through old photo albums, digital pictures, and of course, I re-acquainted myself with all my friends in Friendster. It was hopeless. Before I knew it, I was checking in on friends that I haven't met in years. Getting an idea of where they are in life. Think of it as a maturity lowjack for all friends and past acquaintances.



Looking at the diagram above (reminds me of our thesis presentation) you get a feel of how we could possibly classify people we meet. We can say that he/she is a hot lay, a person who touches the innermost part of your brain, someone who baffles you to no end, or just someone you're trying your best to forget.

Well, just leaving you with something to ponder on. Go on, reminisce with me and try to arrange people into neat, classified piles. You know you want to...it would make our lives sooo much easier. To look at it from a far away perspective, distancing yourself from memories that just seem to hurt everytime.

three days, different emotions...

I went to the Mall of Asia consistently for the past three days (time check: 9:49 PM. Yes! Today, is still "today") and I have been experiencing weird emotions. Fluctuating and sometimes outright unwanted, I just had the time to think about it now. Don't get me wrong, February 15, 16 and 17 (side note: have you guys noticed that the letters B and V, which sounds similar, are set beside one another in the keyboard? I just typed February with a V and had a laugh, hehehe. "Fevruary" sooo gay!) - back to the story - so, those three days are not downright special. I guess the fact that I spent most of the three days in one place makes it easier to paint a picture.

February 15:

This feels like an episode of 24...only a day per episode! Harharhar! The day started out normal enough. Woke up kinda early, I had to go with mom to Cash and Carry to meet tita Ava. Well, on a side note, I hope tita Ava gets well really soon! We ate at Luk Yuen (yummy!) and went around looking at different grocery stuff we needed at home. So, tita Ava arrived after enduring traffic in the express way (not exactly breaking news, right?) and we handed her the gown she commissioned mommy to make. Also, I forgot to mention, we brought Botchog (my favorite kid cousin) along. We just made a stop at the drugstore so mom could buy cold relief medicine. I also made a stop at the local DVD store buying Justice League CDs - supercool! - pun intended.

We went home and my sister, Kate arrived from work. She immediately asked me to come with her to MOA to look at prescription glasses. This of course, pumped me up, because she earlier promised that I get to keep her old Oakley frame when she gets a new pair. So off we went to MOA to look at frames. I gave her my opinions about different stuff she tried on. I was actually surprised that she ended up purcahsing a pair during that same trip. So first emotion - ENVY. I hated myself then and there. Envy? Fucking envy? It goes without saying that your siblings are the last people you should be envious about, because it's a lot easier being genuinely happy for someone in the family, right?

Also, we found out that she’ll be getting a second pair of glasses, ABSOLUTELY FREE – MORE ENVY. Why she hadn’t had the second pair made out for me was beyond reason!!! So we went out of the store and we still needed to make a stop at Toy Kingdom to get her godchild a birthday gift.

I just need to explain, I have this habit of becoming awfully silent or cool (not “rockin’” cool, but more of a “cold” cool) when I’m either mad or sad but I do this in such a way that you don’t notice. So I ended up giving my sister the cold shoulder for the remainder of the day. She didn’t even figure this out, which further infuriated me. I know, I don’t want people to know when I’m mad but I get madder when they don’t – I’m just abnormal I guess, or psycho for that matter.

February 16:

It’s my sister payday. Hurray for her. She asked me I if I could go with her to Jenny’s (her bestfriend) house to drop off Jaz’s (Jenny’s daughter, her godchild) birthday present. But before we could drive over there, we needed to stop by MOA to get donuts or something like that for Jenny.

So I got dressed and we went to MOA but we ended up getting Cheese Rolls instead. And to make sure we were not horrible (a.k.a. Hungry) guests, my sister had to feed me, which made me feel pathetic because who, in their right mind, would ask their penniless, good for nothing brother to pay for his own meal, right? – SELF LOATHING. We also needed to pay for our monthly mobile phone service, which, in actuality, represented the last of my savings. I felt so fucking helpless right then.

I also decided to look around for a pink PSP because Ana told me to look for one. So I did, successfully, find one that was just the right price. I was trying to call Ana just to make sure she wanted it. I couldn’t even give the lady behind the counter a definite answer since I couldn’t ask her to hold the item for me because I had no way of securing an advance payment on the item. I was such a loser then trying to give flimsy excuses why she should hold the item for me without having me front money for it.

So we get to Jenny’s place and we meet a very unenthusiastic (a.k.a. crying, no, more like bawling) Jaz to drop off the gift. My sister was happy with her salary, more cheers for her (I’m being sarcastic right now…). We needed to drop by a dental supply shop before finally heading home. It goes without saying that I was the one to get off the car to go buy stuff. This is due, in large part, to my lack of a driver’s license. Imagine, a 22 year old male without a license – MORE SELF LOATHING.

Today:

I was actually the one to remind my sister that her glasses should be fine for pick up today. DUMB FUCK! So we were on our way again to MOA to pick them up. They were perfect of course, and fit perfectly on her perfect face, and matched her perfect eyes…SHIT! She asked me if I wanted to have a look around before we went home. I said yes. EVEN DUMBER FUCK!!!

I went to different optical shops to look for styles that I liked. I made my rounds looking at frames that I didn’t dare touch (if I broke one, I wouldn’t be able to pay for it) while navigating my way around incessant sales people. Let me get this straight, I firmly believe that if you’re positive that you wouldn’t be buying anything, you shouldn’t bother the sales people because if you don’t purchase anything, you are, technically, not paying for their services. - EMBARRASSMENT

So I didn’t want to bother the hard working people but there was this one guy who didn’t know how to relent. I was almost – mind you, ALMOST – at the point of shouting at him to tell him that I didn’t have dough to buy anything and that his time was better spent with customers who actually had money – EVEN MORE EMBARRASSMENT. Even if I didn’t actually say that out loud, just thinking about it made we want to puke. So I just told my sister that we should quit it and just go home.

I probably should just look forward to the fact that I’ll be most probably hired before the month ends. But since nothing is set in stone yet, I wouldn’t want to count on that just yet. What was that about eggs, chickens, and counting… I just want to evaporate right now. I see the looks my family’s giving me. That USELESS, GOOD FOR NOTHING, FAT, UGLY, PENNILESS, SPINELESS EXCUSE FOR A MAN…they’re probably saying. I should probably go back to slashing my wrists, at least that made me feel good.

tech report

Hey guys! Are you aware that Google is letting people download Symantec's Norton Antivirus 2005 LE?! It's legit and if you're connected to the internet while you're installing the damn thing, you can even register your product. It includes six months worth of free updates! After which you can renew for a one year extension.

Need more info? Just search "Google Pack" or if you're like me and you have a GMail account (who doesn't have one nowadays?) you can just browse through your account options.

It's amazing how many Google products I'm using at the moment! Try looking into Google Reader, (RSS feeds in one page, no need to flip through multiple tabs or worse mutiple WINDOWS) Picasa2 and lots more cool stuff. This might not be news for most of you but hey, it was just too good not to share.

losing innocence (not to mention sanity) in the internet...

Need I say more???

...didn't think so

and FYI: Men DO shave. We shave our facial hair, burns...some even shave their heads, chest hair, treasure trails and I am avoiding pointing out things lower than the belt line okaaaaay?!

it suddenly hits you, like falling bricks...

Remember when KLite signed-off last year? I was sad but I always thought I'll have to stick with NU 107, 99.5 RT, or even the occasional trip to RX 93.1. It dawned on me this afternoon just how much I needed KLite to be there.

Everytime NU would go into commercials, I usually just flipped back one channel in the car radio's preset...but what happened earlier was, I dropped in on a very...VERY SAPPY SONG. It wasn't even funny. I literally got goosebumps!!! If I wasn't hungry, I would've definitely puked. The shit "Heart-FM" was blaring through the air was audio poison!

No, video didn't kill the radio star...moronic management did...

living the digital lifestyle

Finally! After a long time of inactivity, I have revived my Multiply page...and revived it I did. It has the chronicle of lost time between my resignation and my search for a new job. A brief explanation here is actually worth thousands of photos. Although I wouldn't upload them all (that's just plain stupid) the most important ones are there.

Feel free to drop in at any time. The link's right there

as the day comes to a close...

Singles' Awareness Day (popularly know as SAD) is almost coming to and end. Tomorrow will find a lot of singles happy, refreshed, glad THAT is finally over and a lot of couples with surprisingly lowered expectations.

In this day when humanity finds itself consuming vast amounts of flowers (making the bees, wasps, and oh - the butterflies as well - very very angry) for no apparent reason than to fool members of the opposite sex, third sex, or even the sexually deluded minority into thinking one is worthy of a good shag, a hot lay, effing sex...there are a lot of terms y'know?! So we all should pause for a while and think things over. From a very clandestine and abhorrent affair back when the Romans ruled the "civilized" world to a commercialized business (running in the millions of dollars) nowadays, what do we get out of Valentine's?

The materialistic would say "chocolates and flowers", the romantics would say "a chance at finding love" or perhaps we should go with the realists (or down to earth honest people...if I could say so myself) admitting "I'm just in it for the sex, or torrid kissing (the type with tongues involved) at the least". From these definitions, it appears that the question has transformed itself into one of base morality. No need to get into that, right chaps?

It doesn't matter now. Last I checked there's only an hour and thirty minutes left before SAD finally ends. Now we find ourselves with a full year to think about it once more. A year, I hope, that would lead to better conclusions and better reasoning as well. As for me, just like I did today, I will not celebrate Valentine's day, I'm not doing so because of personal, deep-seated reasons.

It IS for the environment after all that I make this (ehem ehem) ultimate sacrifice.

I leave you with this:

Had some sense knocked into you now? Well...

This...

is not a heart darling...

Now this...

is what a heart really looks like.


Not at all romantic, is it?

on sacrifices...

Testing day has come and gone and I'm no better for it. I'm just plain tired.

It had a nice trip going to the plant but that's because I shelled out money for a 1 hour cab ride!!! Damn...still, money well spent.

Had I known it would be an all day affair, I would've sent the cab driver away the instant I got off. But no, here I was thinking it's just a test, half-day...MAX!!! HELL NO!!! Six friggin tests, the first one dictates whether you could continue on to the next five...then...there's a friggin "THEN" here, HR and Technical interviews in the afternoon!

If only I knew before hand, I would've worn shorts and flip-flops...

Going home was the worst part...three jeepney rides from Laguna. Damn it!!!!

the rabbit's out of the hat!!!

Finally!!! After waiting for soooo long for a job (that I actually like) to come my way, my supertrump application went through! Powered by my mad MSWord editing skills (hehehehe) combined with my brother's smooth emailing skills plus sir Deng's (his former boss) heavy hitting submission powers (hahahaha), I finally got a call from Amkor-Anam!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I'll still have to undergo testing but my brother told me, it's just to make sure I'm not crazy or a possible terrorist. Bet I'll pass that. Hope I really do get in.

If not, I still have fallbacks. Management jobs in different companies. Just like the opportunities I missed when I left my previous job.

okaaaaay...

I know, I know...

It HAS been a while since I last posted anything. Well I did go into self imposed hibernation after I resigned from my previous job.

The holidays were great! Tons of fun to be had everywhere we went to and at any time of the day. I went to Baguio with my aunt and her family from Perth.


Then after my brother's wedding (yes, apparently, it was his final answer, it was "deal") we went to the beautiful island of Bohol.


Trust me, you should go.


BUT! And this is one MASSIVE BUT...
I need to find myself a new job now. I could go to Singapore or Australia but I don't want to go there if I'm not sure if I could get a job pronto! Sure my relatives would be more than happy to put me up for a few months but I don't feel okay with that. Y'know?

It seems like I'll have to settle for getting one to two years worth of experience here in the Philippines before I head out to Singapore. It's all good, that way I don't have to iron my own clothes just yet.