sick of waiting...

It is said that good things come to those who wait. That's a big load of bull if I ever heard one. Fact is, those who don't give everything to attain something usually don't get anything for their hard work. Unless of course, you have insane luck that affords you the power to avoid the perversity of the universe. Unfortunately, lady luck is a traitorous mistress and she seems intent on helping those who don't deserve her blessings.

So, if the only way to reach your goal is to exert a mad amount of effort or end up using every form of underhanded tactic know to man, is it safe to assume then that the universe, in it's perversity, was designed to work against man? Of course there's no point in asking this question to those "lucky" enough to win the genetic lottery. Those born under the most favorable signs having parents who shit money and go to beaches on fucking yachts.

Then again, these rich kiddies are cursed with never being happy with what they have. So thanks to human greed, the greatest equalizer if all, we're all left wanting more. Take for instance a child dying of hunger in Africa wants food and has no way to get it. This equates to unhappiness. Sure it stems from one of humanity's most basic needs being divested from him. Yet, a rich man's daughter whining because she didn't get the right car for her eighteenth birthday is equally happy if not more so. Why is this you ask? Well the hungry kid from Africa is resigned to the fact that he never had a proper chance of getting food anyways and would probably die thinking that he got the short end of the stick from the very beginning. On the other hand, our little whining bitch is cursed with the knowledge that her father always had the right amount of money. It's just that he wasn't "cool" enough to notice which car she really wanted. Far worse, if they are really that well off, she has the ultimate displeasure of knowing that at anytime, her dad could just go ahead and buy her a new car, the car she really wanted.

See the complexity of human happiness?

So here we are, spending most of our lives toiling for success. When we finally find out that we have struck gold, we then realize just how little time we have to reap the fruits of our labor. This is why I have concluded that life is meant to be horrible, depressing and dark. It's as such so that during that single, minute moment that we experience joy, we're actually equipped to enjoy it. This is when ignorance is indeed bliss or when a simple mind reaps more benefits than an over-thinking brain. Let's go back to my example. Let's say a redneck who flew out to Africa to shoot animals sights the African kid in the throes of hunger. He looks down at the Big Mac he was stuffing his face full of and decides to (unbelievably enough) hand it over to the kid. Death is averted and the kid is happy. The kid now has a choice to make. Will he be happy with the food or will he want more? I'll bet that the kids just decides to be happy and hope that someone else comes along and gives him food again before he dies of hunger. On the other hand, our teenage drama queen would probably react different. Let's say daddy caves in after a week of her whining (of course she's his PRINCESS after all) and go buys her the car she wanted. Of course she'll be happy upon seeing it but does anyone honestly think that will be the end of it? Oh hell no! That bitch will continue to suck her father's bank account dry just like how her social-climbing mother taught her.

I don't know. I'm trying to find a philosophical exit to my otherwise worldly problems. I'm just sick and tired of waiting for my time to come. 

social experiment...gone wrong?

Okay, so I'm watching the local version of Big Brother. You know the one with the teens... It's not like I want to but it's the only way to carry a decent conversation with my brother. I don't know why, but it's a huge deal to him. So yeah, I watch it. I even know what channel TFC is and I don't even know where HBO is!!! I actually surf channels looking for HBO while TFC is like automatic now. He even watches the local telenovelas...it's annoying!

So while watching Big Brother yesterday and today, the whole issue of circumcision came up. So basically this Italian teen is uncircumcised. Big freaking deal! I understand that his two older brothers actually came home to get it done. Is that reason enough to have yourself mutilated?! To make it worse, here comes guys telling him it's part of Filipino to have your foreskin chopped off. What the hell?! 

FYI, I was circumcised when Iw as young. I think I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. So yeah, I actually got to feel the pain and the whole wearing skirts during the healing process. My parents didn't ask me if I wanted it done. One summer day this big dude walks through our doorstep with this little black bag that doctors bring with them during house visits. Then my parents tell me I'm getting circumcised. Okay... So I had it done. 

Point is, he grew up in friggin Italy. Men there tend to keep their foreskin. So yeah, he gets taunted by other Filipinos there. So?! I have a cousin who was born and raised in Australia and he never got circumcised and it's a total non-issue with the family, even with the rest of us back home. When was circumcision a requirement for being Filipino? If it has something to do with religion, then I'd probably understand it a lot better. Is he Jewish? I don't think so.

It's just wrong. You could see it on the poor guy's face. Is he scared of it? Probably not. He DOES know it's gonna be hella painful but then again, dudes got to keep pain hush hush right? It has something to do with the whole macho schtick. Still, do I think he's gonna have it done because he wants to? Doubtful. It's painted on his whole damn face. Is it a hundred percent peer (or even cultural) pressure? I don't think so but it sure plays a huge part. What next? People who aren't dark enough and who don't speak Tagalog (or Filipino, to be politically correct) fluently aren't considered Filipino? If such is the case, the direction our society is gearing towards is disturbing. We ought to remember the lessons of the holocaust.

on the up-up...

Well, yeah...just like the header says. I'm kinda happy these past few days. No, it's not due to the use of recreational drugs. I've just been kinda happy. My sister in law left for the Philippines the weekend before last. That left my brother and I to our own devices. Right after we brought her to Changi and said our farewells, we went straight to the mall to buy XBox 360 games! Something we never do when she's around.

Last Saturday we also went out to go see Vantage Point. The movie started off well but by the third time rewind schtick, I kinda got bored. Plus the ending is soooo "meh". Nonetheless, we had fun. Saturday evening my mom called and asked for a list of stuff I needed and wanted from back home so she could go out and buy them before my sister in law flies back. 

This is where things start to get deep. My mom actually accused me of being an atheist! Damn! That actually hurt. I've been pretty open about my being agnostic at home. I question their religion a lot and they seem to be fine with it. I had no idea she took this personally. It's like "I brought you up to believe in a God." I'm like "I still believe in God just not in religion". But I think I didn't communicate that part well with mom 'cause she certainly didn't understand any of that crap. So to keep things short, she guilted me into hearing mass last Sunday.

So, I told my brother that we had to go to mass on Sunday or we're both gonna have a very angry mother. We both accused my sister in law of ratting us out but when we got to talk to her, we found out she didn't talk to mom about that. 

So off we went to church last Sunday. We took the cab since we were cutting it close.I HAD to cook breakfast after all. So we got there. The church was packed full of people. Mostly Filipinos but there's the occasional local, malay and expat here and there. The mass was supposed to be in Tagalog but a chinese-local priest presided so we only got to sing Tagalog songs but the rest was in English...erm...Singlish. The priest did well, I actually found his homily interesting and it his jokes were funny.

All in all, a good weekend. I felt happy after I went to mass. I don't know if it's faith or just remembering good memories. I hope this good feeling carries on for a while. I'm not looking forward to crashing back into depression anytime soon.

Knock It Down...music shuffle game

(from Deej!)

RULES: Put your music player on shuffle. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!

1. If someone says "Is this okay?" you say? I Could Stay Away Forever (Snow Patrol, Songs For Polarbears album). How apt! I don't want to go back.

2. What would best describe your personality? I Will Follow You Into The Dark (Death Cab For Cutie, Plans album). Gullible?! I'll never do that unless we intend to have fun in the dark!

3. What do you like in a guy/girl? I Could Be Wrong (The Starting Line, Direction album). LOL! If I didn't know better, I'll probably think my iTunes knows me well!

4. How do you feel today? Escape (Muse, Showbiz album). Well this is pretty much what I feel like doing everyday.

5. What is your life's purpose? I Could Lose Ya (Stereophonics, Pull The Pin album). How appropriately sad. At least I'll be seeing Stereophonics live on April 28!

6. What is your motto? Hello (Oasis, [What's the story?] Morning Glory? album). Simplicity at its best!

7. What do your friends think of you? Sunflower (Tonic, Sugar album). How sweet.

8. What do you think of your parents? Whipping (Pearl Jam, Vitalogy album). Definitely! It's nothing but "ouch" with those two.

9. What do you think about very often? Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy (Queen, Greatest Hits album). OMFGROFLMAOLOLBBQ!!1! Is my iTunes trying to say something?

10. What do you think of your bestfriend? It Must Be Love (Paolo Nutini, Radio 1 Established 1986 album). Mich?! This would make Joetech sooo friggin happy. If it were true...or even possible!

11. What do you think of the person you like? Love Is Not Enough (Nine Inch Nails, With Teeth album). Exactly! Love is never enough.

12. What is your life story? Deserts Eating Oceans (Daphne Loves Derby, Closing Down the Pattern Department album). Whoa! That's some deep shit...

13. What do you want to be when you grow up? King Diamond (Team Sleep, Team Sleep album) Hell yeah! I want cahs! Lots and lots of cash!

14. What do you think when you see the person you like? Take Me Away (Lifehouse, Stanley Climbfall album). Wow! Sweep me off my feet!

15. What do your parents think of you? Chump (Green Day, Dookie album). Major OUCH! But probably right...

16. What will you dance to at your wedding? Oh, It Is Love (Hellogoodbye, Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs! album) Waaaaaay too sweet for my taste.

17. What will they play at your funeral? Hell (Foo Fighters, In Your Honor album). WTF?! Is this an omen?!

18. What is your favorite hobby/interest? Heroin Girl (Everclear, Ten Years Gone: The Best of Everclear, 1994-2004 album) For the record, I DON'T DO DRUGS...anymore!

19. What is your biggest fear? Fear of Sleep (The Strokes, First Impressions of Earth album) Okaaaaay, my iTunes party shuffle is starting to creep me out. It's not like I fear sleep y'know? It's just that it doesn't come easily to me.

20. What is your biggest secret? Crawling In The Dark (Hoobastank, Hoobastank album) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fucking hilarious!!!

21. What song will be the title when you repost this? Knock It Down (Fastball, Make Your Mama Proud album)