on life-altering decisions...

My resignation date is fast approaching and I've been getting lots of invitations for interviews and even job offers via my email. Resigning is starting to look like the best decision at this point.

My managers have tried to retain me by informing of what I will and could possibly miss when I leave. There's the tax rebate that should be given during the first pay-out in January (although I'm still wishing that it'll come in by the 22nd).

There's Dell...final interview and Job Offer (hopefully) on January. Pros: relatively high salary, the office is a stone's throw away & Cons: it's another friggin contact center!

There's Standard Chartered...online assesment still pending (gotta have a blazin internet connection for that one). Pros: Singapore based, aligned w/ my course & Cons: I'm doubtful I'll get the position.

There's Hewlett-Packard (hope I spelled that right)...interview tomorrow. Pros: well known company, office is in oh-so-cool Makati & Cons: I don't know what the job is, and being in Makati, I'll end up spending my salary even before I get it.

Hmmm...I miss the days when choices I had to do were between McDonald's or Jollibee...

on the winds of change...

I am typing this with boom-boom, disco music blaring through my Sennheisser headphones, slightly altering my state of reality. Wish I had acid to wash it all down with...to recreate that genuine rave atmosphere that has become scarce as of late.

I have been burning money faster than Bush's war machine this past few days. A movie here, coffee there, extravagant gifts in one hand, and piling orders of expensive perfumes to pay for. I'm only beginning to experience how good it feels to be earning a salary.

Happy Feet and Casino Royale this past two weeks. Dinner with my ate and her friends, lunch with mom and dad. It comes without saying that my finances have seen better, more stable days. But I'm taking it all in stride. Things are going my way. The storm missed Manila, I got to buy Jana cool gifts, I'm having a blast.

And I've also come to terms with the reality that I won't be getting the bonus for quality after all. It's just compliance and attendance for me. But who gives a flying fart in space. I just hope birds start to sporadically shit on my QA's head. Coach's been acting up lately as well...the expected after-effects of her "official" management training...MY ASS!!! She didn't even take a single management course in college! She's digging into this let's bond and drink poisoned kool-aide together. It's giving me the hibbie-gibbies. Plus, she's planning to spend one of our rest days talking about our quality. I AM SOOOOO NOT SHOWING UP FOR THAT.

I'm starting to see the brighter side of having to work just TEN MORE DAYS!!! Then it's adios ms. "cheers" and "moving forward"...hahahahahaha!!!!

on reciprocity...

"Reciprocity"...to reciprocate...to give in turn...to give in equal...

...a word that has been plaguing the headlines recently. The new Pope asking for equal rights on Muslim soil as with the rights extended to their bretheren in western nations.

Reciprocity is not merely Christian propaganda but a mere impossibility. When base human nature is dictated by greed or by our own selfish emotions, do we honestly have room for equality?

I have this friend Kel - from work. Well, he has...or as of this morning, had...this auntie who suffered from bone cancer. Among the family, he was the only person who wouldn't accept the hopelessness of the situation. The gravity of the mere possibility of death never had a pull on him. He was a fighter, just like his aunt was a fighter. I just heard a few hours ago that his aunt finally passed. According to reciprocity, or just basic equality, he should be given his dues. Then why must he suffer the greatest? Why do the bonds that connected him to his aunt, the same bonds that he held on to so tightly now cause him this pain?

I recently had a fight with one of my workmates, Ting. I called her a scatterbrain in front of the whole team. She cried, lots of drama that was...but we worked it out. Now, we have this fucking queer teammate who just happens to disagree with my brusque approach two days ago, when I berrated Ting. As usual, the fucking cunt rolled his eyes and told me about his grievances...HIS GRIEVANCES mind you!? Now what's wrong with this picture? Ting and I had a disagreement, now why the fuck does this bitch react so...so...
...it's like we two are having the fight instead. Come on you idiot!!! And I'm not one for drama myself. I wanted to break this spineless freak's neck the whole fucking day! Showing me attitude like that when Ting and I made up already and were even eating together. This freaking Bedan who studied in Australia (as proven by his awfully mispronounced English) who actually thinks he's something note-worthy. Pathetic existence. He just happens to be a really funny Nora Aunor cum President Arroyo impersonator that never fails to make people laugh. What a joke! The earth should just open up and swallow him up.

Reciprocity...just another useless word in the dictionary...

on expectations and excitement

The holidays are fast approaching and I'm working my ass of for some decent money to make my pseudo-"off-work"-sabbatical enjoyable at the least.

I'm already getting tons of email from family living abroad about their flight plans and whatnot. I'm excited most of all about my brother's return. I'm looking forward to the wedding due, in large part, to the would-be presence of mouth-watering food. The possibility of him bringing me his graduation cum birthday cum christmas is also note worthy. I'm just waiting for my baby to reach my lap and eager, greasy hands.



On to the present...

I was seriously annoyed last night when I found out that my secret santa at work was the oh-so irresponsible, can't-count-on-him, Wilson!!!


Which pretty much meant I had no gift earlier. Needless to say I'm looking forward to four more "giftless" Saturdays...WHICH, by the way, won't stop me from buying cool gifts for Jana (my baby).

I'm also looking for someone who'd be willing to go with me to the corporate xmas party. BESIDES my sister...

O well, just three more weeks before I jet.

on farewells and Ta-Ta's...

I've finally decided to resign from my current job on December 22. That'll be it, no more working 'til all family festivities are over.

At least I get to spend Christmas with everyone. That's a big deal in our house. More so now that the whole family will be here for my brother's wedding...

If you look close enough, you'll actually see tons of ants swarming their sweetness.

But I have to say, I'll miss them:

on bitter endings and sweet beginnings...

I've pretty much considered this blog dead. After the pressures of college life ended I almost went full on against my job. I had no time to rest and no time to spare looking for hotspots or to even lug my laptop around with me.

Graduation was fine. I got goosebumps when we were made to transfer the tassle from one side to the other. But that's it... No glowing feeling, no special ingkling inside to throw my graduation cap to high heavens (except maybe to drop on the bimbo's head - aka "she who hath no idea what she was yapping about during her graduation speech").

I expected too much from the affair. Maybe I wanted to cry, y'know? To signal that I am no longer a happy-go-lucky college student who had the world at his fingertips...to welcome the fact that I am now a fledgling engineer struggling to prove himself. But I guess the fact that I have been working for the last two trimesters of my scholastic life sapped the "naivite" out of it all.

I'm not that stupid graduate clutching his portfolio close to his chest wondering if he can get a job that pays him more than his monthly allowance. I now knew how shitty life was. How a diploma from my oh-so-distinguished alma mater can only help you stick your foot in the door. The cold hard fact was that I knew how much it sucked to work. I knew that government taxes are like highway robbery against what you earn. I know how managers get to go on two-hour lunches while I had ask permission just to pee.

I have long since been disenchanted by the "real world". I already know that youth is like alcohol, it tastes bad in the beginning (childhood), then you get the buzz (teenage years), then you get drunk and forget your inhibitions (college), and then YOU FUCKING WAKE UP WITH THE WORST GODDAMN HANG-OVER. Reality sucks...deal with it.

I wonder if we'd still look like this ten years from now.

far worse than spending the night in a haunted house...

We've decided to spice up our thesis making. So besides all the harassing trips to Quiapo, exploding circuits, and wild bickering amongst ourselves, we decided to bring our relationship as thesis mates to the next level. WE DECIDED TO STAY IN SCHOOL...OVERNIGHT!!!

Needles to say, I'm a little bit nervous at the prospect of having no way out. I usually go home when I'm far too pissed to function but tonight will be helluva big deal for me.

NO OUTS

NO BREAKS

NO RUNNING FROM THE MOB

simply put...
NO ESCAPE!!!

I hope I get to keep my marbles later. But I honestly think it's gonna be fun. Besides, I enjoy watching wrestling and octagon fights anyways...

fireworks and shooting stars

Quick update!!!

We just popped one IC Chip in our circuit. It literally went BOOM! SPARK! then POP! Amazing...the smell of freshly burnt circuitry is still in the air. Hmmm...Monday looks super near right about now...MICROSCOPIC even.

adventures in the "High Halls of Learning"...

aka...De La Salle University. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm currently stuck in school with my jittery thesismates. But we're all happy campers. We're working on our uber high tech thesis. "The Teleoperation of a Four-Wheeled Robot" which in human terms is: an uber-expensive, migraine-inducing, engineer's version of a remote controlled toy. Hehehehehe. We engineers just looooove to complicate our lives.



But we're still in there, grinding our bones to powder trying to make sure everything is working perfectly by Monday. Cheerio dudes!

We had a little adventure yesterday as well. After my little morning chit-chat over breakfast (which saved me from actual hunger later in the day) with Gen and Candice, I decided to go directly to school instead of my planned one hour stop over at home.

Getting to school, we decided to go buy all the stuff we needed. Target area: RAON!!! So we went to Quiapo (and I wasn't even able to buy friggin DVDs...) to start our simple adventure. Needless to say, there was tons of walking to be done.

So I went home after a TWENTY-EIGHT HOUR DAY!!! Good thing mom made amazing Tuna Belly for dinner. I just flopped like a dead person after that.

back in the olden days...

Hmmm...I kinda forgot how easier it was to type on a full-sized keyboard. My laptop is still currently out of commission, hence the use of my desktop computer. I'm still not sure when I'll be mobile again but I'm trying to survive without it.

The smell of grass is in the air again...WIMBLEDON IS HERE!!! Damn! I hope Roddick makes a comeback in this tourney...if Martina can do it, so can he right??? I don't expect him to win, just as long as Federer and Roddick face off in the final, I'm a happy fan already.

Enough updates about the outside world, let's get to my news...I'm currently dying due to the combined effects of panic, stress and lack of sleep. In other words -> thesis, schoolwork and my job! I'm finding it hard to do anything productive in the morning since all I want to do is sleep...

I have been reduced to the basic specimen of a working student. Although much kudos to my workmates...they make life just a tad bit more bearable. I don't know what I would do without those guys. And you would think I'd rather be in school right? NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! I'm happiest when I'm in the office. School is boring and our thesis is just making an outright mess of my life. I knew this thesis thing would strain my friendship with my teamates but I never, in my wildest dreams, expected this! It's like where before I can't live without them, now, I can't wait to get rid of them. It's just that I hate working with friends because you're forced to see and experience a side of them you wouldn't normally get to see, hear and feel. I just hope our friendship survive this ordeal.

I'm actually amazed that I was even to make a post right now. I never thought I'd have time for this during this term. I'm so excited to graduate and work. I don't want to be tied down by trivial matters like grade, attendance and extra credit. I just want to get real results from my hardwork.

O well...just holler at me from the "REAL" world...

like leading sheep to the slaughter...

My life really sucks right now. I mean it may not "suck" but I don't think anyone would be willing to exchange lives with me right now.

My schedule is a bitch. I work from 9pm-6am then I have thesis meetings in school everyday of the week and that's from 8am-11pm. Sooooo do the math. That leaves how much time for sleep and quality time? Technically...10 hours but helloooooo...let's deduct time I spend on the road, that'll be around 2 and a half hours, that leaves me with 7 and a half hours, let's get rid of another hour for eating and bath time...the grand total is:

fucking 6 and a half hours of MUCH NEEDED sleep!!!!!!

Get it? I'm literally killing myself right now...

I need HELP! SERIOUSLY!!!

ahhh...the wonder of cartoon watching

I've just realized that within the one week I took off from work...I'VE SUNK TO AN ALL TIME LOW!!!

I don't mean my boring schoolwork either. I kinda figured out I was starting to veg-out when I found myself being addicted to the Acceleracers movies in Cartoon Network. My goodness!!! FRIGGIN CARTOONS!!! Also I've been hooked on this series called Gokusen!!! I mean c'mon!!! I don't watch local channels but I'm beginning to get entangled in the dreary world of stupid TV shows!!! Even The Love of the Condor Heroes (in all fairness, the Novel was great!!!) yikes!!! I'm mutating into something horrible. I've been reduced to a telenovela watching freak!!!

I cannot wait to get back to work to drown myself in that instead of mindless TV watching.

20 days of silence

OHHHH MY GAAAAAAWD!!! I missed my laptop!!!

Just got it back yesterday. We've been apart for more than two weeks!!! It was like losing a hand for quite a while. I couldn't operate without it!!!

Also, I realized how wrong I was not to use my desktop PC while my laptop went on hiatus. I MISSED A LOT!!! I just found out that my brother wrote me a testimonial on Friendster 9 days ago. It was soooo cool of him to do that.

My life is in shambles right now and would probably get worse in the coming weeks. I started school this week and I've been trying to balance everything. But next week, I'll start work again and I'll have practically ZERO DOWNTIME!!! But it's cool, I need the extra cash anyways. But I kinda realized how easier it would be if I stopped work because I took the week off from work.

I just hope I survive the next three months and then I'M OUTTA HERE!!! SINGAPORE, HERE I COME!!!

hurting everytime...

It started so innocently.
I met you and you smiled,
that smile that pierces all defenses.
I was just simply beguiled.

It was like a game, a dance.
Testing strange but tepid waters.
Walking, one cautious step at a time.
Treading not rapids but calm rivers.

Then there was change,
not really unwanted,
but alarming all the same.
The moment is becoming heated.

Then there was that first touch.
A single moment of contact,
your hand upon mine.
I just wasn't sure how to act.

Now we act as if it's perfect,
as if we've know eack other so long.
You own my heart,
there's is no question to whom it belongs.

But one fateful day,
I met him,
the one you said you loved.
It hurt so bad, I wanted to scream!

You two looked so perfect,
so happy, so content.
What have I to tempt you away?
I had to let you go, to simply relent.

Now I am but lost,
my shattered core dissipating into nothingness.
I now hold on to whatever inch of you I can grasp,
longing everytime and hurting nonetheless.

simple material joys in life

Hmmmm...my brother finally got here last Saturday. I was really out of it when he (together with mommy, daddy, and my older sister - all fetched him at the airport) walked through the door. I was really dazed considering the lack of sleep (Hey! I just got off work at 7AM that morning!!!) and wasn't that responsive at all.

He then put his hicking back pack down and got all the different goodies out. First came all of the cowbells that were to act as gifts to the different "ninongs" and "ninangs" for his upcoming wedding. On to the good stuff...He got my mom this uber-expensive digital camera that we (still) have no idea how to use, and then he brought out MY SPANKING NEW "CERAMIC WHITE" PSP!!! Needless to say I was up and sober in no time. I immediately tinkered with it...and still am right now. My new buddy (PSP) and I have been inseperable eversince.

I also got to shop my ass off today. My sister decided to get me two new pair of leather shoes. After all...we're supposed to wear smart-casual outfits to work. I also got this really cool transparent Logitech casing for my PSP with uber-cool orange rubber matting inside! Coolness!!! My brother also got me a kick-ass UMD game to go with the console. He got me Daxter (because I told him that was the game with the longest play-time) and promised to get me new title come October (he'll be back to finalize stuff for the wedding). I'm also gonna buy a 1Gb Memory Stick Card Duo this coming Tuesday after getting off my Monday night to Tuesday morning shift.

I'm almost set! I just need a nice screen protector to put on the huge screen. I'm also thinking about getting these really humongous Sennheisser noise cancelling headsets. I'm a little hesitant though...thanks in large part to their 3000+++ peso pricetags!!!!!!

But all is good in Joweeland. Also, I got through Product Specific Training at work and I'm already cleared for the Mentoring stage. I just can't wait to get the 1000 peso raise when you get through all trainings...that'll be a whopping 16000 big bucks when I get there!!! ANG FUCKING TAX FREE!!!

God I love my gift-recieving, tech-driven, tax-free existence!!!

my week...in review

A lot can happen in a week...FOR REAL!!!

I got my course cards last Monday and guess what??? I PASSED ALL MY SUBJECTS!!! I was almost a Deans Lister! Got a 3.2 GPA but had a 1.5 in Statistics soooo that pretty much blew my chances...

Started my new job last Wednesday and went on Diction, Intonation, and Enunciation Training (DIET, how ironic...) and I certified today!!! Wow! It's on to Product Specific Training (PST)!!!

Congratulations PayPal batch 15c!!!!!!!! Got lots of new friends and more importantly, I learned how to spell phonetically /fhu-ne-tee-kuh-lee/ bwahahahahahahahaha!!! Thanks to JP (our amazing trainer).

I just hope I can jumble my last remaining academic units with my new job. I'll be back in school probably the third week of May...PLUS, I plan to finish that damn THESIS once and for all!!!

"normal" is the catchword...

Besides the sweltering heat (which is, unfortunately, quite normal) nothing is playing out in the normal boring way this summer...

I actually signed up for a summer job! This money-earning (hopefully) stunt of mine comes in the form of my sister's job. I won't be wasting time this summer playing in any sizzling beaches...

Course Card day is just around the corner and freakishly enough, I'm not worried!?!?! Usually, two weeks before this fatefull day, I can't eat, sleep, talk, or display any "normal" human behavior. For the first time in my college life (not counting my OJT grades of course!) I feel kinda good about my grades. I just hope my Statistics subject doesn't disappoint me...

I'm also in a slump nowadays...picture this: if I were stuck in a movie right now, it would be in black and white AND Death Cab for Cutie's "Sound of Settling" would be looping endlessly in the background...

Things have changed a lot...when I was still a kid, our Holy Week was spent indoors and we only went out for the "Visita Iglesia". Yesterday (Good Friday...the day when my grandparents were at their strictest!!!) I went out and saw kids running around, old women playing bingo in the streets and I was just like: "Whoa! This is like sooooo not 'normal'!"

I just hope things pick up soon, I'm sooooo anticipating change!!!

sacrifices and rewards

I just concluded that I learned how to be a college student too late. It's only this term that I decided to balance my self, appropriate my time well, and prioritize things correctly.

I could've done a hell'a lot more if only I flew through college like this.

But things seem to float way from me now. Change is inevitable and often times, we do everything to escape its passing.

I even decided to get myself a summer job. Y'know? Just to get a good feel of things before it's really too late. I want to know what it'll be like having a job. The time when I'll be ultimately thrust into adulthood and the days of simpe living will be gone.

Yes! I said simple living...I AM aware that college life is piece of cake compared to life in the real world. You might ask: "then why complain all the time?". The answer is simple...BECAUSE I CAN. Somehow, ranting makes things a lot easier to take in all at once. It's nice to know that someone will always be there to hear you out.

The time to grow up is drawing near. I finally have to earn my keep and prove the righteousnes of my existence in this world. It's time to leave an indelible mark that those younger than me will look up to someday. All I wish for...is that I be worthy of this harrowing responsibility.

I have come to terms with the fact that others will look up to me for guidance now. No longer can I rant simply because I can...now, I will complain because that IS ALL I CAN DO.

Possibilities are always nice...not knowing, ever questioning, and making the fates laugh when we try to decipher our futures. It's almost time to delve into the great big unknown. Hopefully someday, I get to rise from this sea of doubt a changed man...a better person...an entity who has purchased his right to exist from the jaws of uselessness.

been to hell and back

It's Tuesday. I've been through two of the biggest, nastiest tests ever made known to man.

And guess what:

I'm still alive!!!!

Hahaha!!! Score: 2-Joey, Nasty Teachers-ZERO!!!

But it's still not over. I still have to moderate a panel discussion tomorrow and I let's not forget about the two other requirements I have to submit.

But all in all, everything is peachy in Joweeland!!!

a glimpse of things to come

I'm just updating now because I might be delirious even before the week ends.

I have a statistics test on Monday (6-9 PM)...

I have a differential equations test on Tuesday...

I have to prepare for a panel discussion (which I will be moderating) on Wednesday...

I have to squeeze in some hands on time for my CATIA project on Thursday...

Finally, I have to submit a paper for Religion (about the movie: Devil's Advocate) on Friday...

So...it's already the second to the last week before the term ends and the end is still not in sight. I can't see my finish line...HELP ME!!! SHOOT ME!!!

the search for the silver lining

Just when you thought things couldn't get worse. Just when you hoped that there's no where else to go but up (from the slump you're stuck in...). AND, atfter reading your horoscope and discovering you're in for good things...

KABOOM!!! The preverbial rug is pulled from underneath your flat feet and you end up belly-up in this world where upright is the only way to be.

IN SHORT...I hate fucking Mondays!!!

I had to put up with lots of drama today. First I got up late...I ended up missing my first class. Then during second period, the prof was busy backtracing and eating shit...whew, and I thought I was unorganized!!! Then during my last class (Goddamn RELIGION!!!) I had to deal with a friend of mine who happens to be in most of my groupings for other courses dishing out a full shitload of drama.


I just want to know if simplicity is too much to ask for. I mean we're all busy right? I refuse to believe that there are degrees of busy-ness. I mean it's either you are or you aren't, right???

Geesh! I don't understand where all this animosity is coming from. Was college always this hard? I miss books...memorizing, and passing that way. Just when graduation is within reach, everyone conspires to push it away from your groping hands.

I just wish people would just shoot themselves instead of giving me too much drama!!!

my life in a nutshell

I'd take 5 pentabarbital pills over life any day!

art imitating life

I've been trying to recover these past few days, but it seems like everytime a smile begins to form on my face something always pops up to stop it from happening. Sometimes we just go through slumps in our lives, where satisfaction seems to plateau and we're left scratching our heads.

Well, I have a slightly different mechanism for coping:

Hurting just feels soooo good. Enough said...

the antithesis to a happy and satisfying life…

There are just some days where we find ourselves at wits end. It’s like everything is moving but you’re stuck there. Sometimes there is nothing worse than stagnation. The earth turns, the tides rise and fall, heck, even other people change! But your just there, acting like the powerless bystander that you were born to be.

They say some people are just born great, their great destinies imprinted on the palms of their hands since infancy. What happens when you believe you weren’t supposed to be born in the first place? Is it your parents’ fault that you were robbed of a great destiny due to their effervescent ignorance? Or does the fault lie with you, a weakling incapable of terminating your own existence even after you’ve realized that you were born for no apparent reason at all? You’re existence is an anomaly at best. Walking the earth with no purpose, you just end up hindering other people from fulfilling their respective missions.

“The Lost”, a very apt appellation if I could say so myself, to describe this meaningless reality.

You see everybody’s plan coming into fruition while you sit by the sidelines. Any accomplishment you achieve doesn’t have the desired effect. Where others would feel success or satisfaction, you only feel emptiness. All this happens while new and harder barrage of questions assault your already confused and chaotic head. You feel your soul literally being rendered into pieces. What’s worse is that you know that it will never get better. Somewhere deep inside your pathetic excuse for a core, you know…that this is how it’s supposed to be.

Nothing can comfort you. There is only this reality gnawing at the back of your head. Even this certainty can’t bring you peace. You try desperately to hold on to your so-called “normalcy”, trying to act like everyone else. You do everything to hide your pain, your confusion, to keep everyone from seeing the real you.

Where does the answer lie? In the embrace of your kin? In the laws of your society? In the ridiculous myth that has concentrated itself to become religion? Isn’t it funny? That in all this commotion, you fail to see what’s really happening.

Look around you little boy, open your eyes to the truth. You have to realize, we all do the same things. We’re all stuck in this half-life, a meaningless existence. All we can do is to crash into each other and in that instant, form sparks that force us to feel something. Even if this collision only leaves us with more questions, a deep gaping hole of want…it doesn’t matter, because we all know that this is the only way to get through this existence. And who knows, maybe someday…hopefully soon…we get our ultimate reward, the thing we hunger for the most: the last goodbye, the slumber from which there is no awakening…and someday, yes, we will get to rest.

on trials and retribution

There are two words all graduating La Sallian students learn to fear: RELIABILITY RUN...


We had that today and it was...disturbing to say the least. Only five thesis groups defended this term and two out of the five groups failed even before lunch time. I'm thinking I was sooooo right deciding to drop the defense and wait 'til next term.


I would've given everything to graduate this term, but I guess it's just not meant to be.


I just wish the 10 or so MEM graduates this year to hold the banner high and to kick some serious ass in the real world.

post-mortem

Okaaaaaay...I just reviewed my prior post and...DAMN! DO I SOUND SWEET OR WHAT???

eeeew...I almost sound...I dunno...happy...(enter: creepy howling sounds)

Just to keep things in the straight and narrow: I just missed blogging (too much, apparently) and I promise to bring on the wrath of angst in my next posts.

Kudos everyone!!!

and so I'm back...from outerspace!!!

GOD! I MISSED BLOGGING!!!

Where else could you vent off into empty space???

A lot's happened since my self-imposed online silence effected last January. I got off into a good start, academically speaking and I have been working my ass off to meet impossible deadlines. And I'm gald to say...ALL IS GOOD IN JOEYLAND!!!

Although there's a little bump in the road here and there, I've been enjoying my second to the last term. I've even finished my pre-graduation ORIENT3 modules. I'm itching to get out of school and BE A BUM!!!! Bwahahahahahaha...nah...I wanna go to work already. I'm rearing to go to Singapore and work there, and my I bet my brother is sooooo excited to get someone who knows how to cook "edible" food...

Now going to the serious stuff...I've been dealing with issues lately and I have come to resort to ummm..."unorthodox" measures. One of my friends confronted me about the scars on my wrist and I just decided to open up to her. At least it was nice to know that not ALL people freak out when they see my scars. Also, she got on my case...BIG TIME...and she's been making sure I don't go all nasty on myself anytime soon. (Big thanks to CHARM for keeping me alive)

I've also done some pretty neat stuff these past months. I dedicated two Saturdays last February to helping out with Habitat for Humanity's BASECO site. It was refreshing to experience hardships with sense...I got to know the poeple who'll be living in the houses we helped build and they were thanful...to say the least. I remember my high school days working in Habitat's Las Pinas site...

I really hope I can update more often now...just to give you guys an idea of how busy I've been, I have my laptop with me (almost) everyday in school (with free WiFi connection, mind you...) and I still can't update this damn thing...

Oh well...to the truly faithful friends I have who've been visiting this page despite the lack of new stuff, all I can say is...GET A LIFE!!! (go out, do something else besides fester over the wounds of my life...) joke!!!! nah...I really want to thank you guys!

on trying and eventually giving up...

It's official...THIS TERM IS A BITCH!!! My thesismates and I have decided to drop the course. Why you ask? The Department decided to be strict this time...IT JUST SO HAPPENS THEY DECIDED TO IT TO OUR BATCH!!! @$Y!@U$I@$!!!!

Our Deparment in the esteemed college of Engineering is well known for deffered theses. It's easy to justify this fact! We actually make prototypes of our theses y'know? Which other department requires their students to design robots and actually make them???? Huh? Huh? Shit!

The department decided to completely eliminate the deffered status! So it means it's either pass or fail for your damn thesis!!!! Even if you submitt all your requirements on time, you could still fail if you don't pass the reliabilty run!!!!

Whew! And this term is fuckin starting to get on my nerves...

I want to seriously hurt someone...BAD!!!

going back to school sucks!!!

Shit!

I cannot stress enough how I hate this term!!! After experiencing work for a whole year, I must say...I'LL TAKE WORK OVER SCHOOL ANY DAY!!!

Thesis sucks, my classes suck, money sucks...the list just goes on and on...

I just hope I graduate soon so I can start working towards my riches.

to new friendships (hear! hear!)

I'm dedicating this post to a new friend of mine...RUDY!!!

He has restored a little of my faith in the supposedly innate "good" in people. Imagine this, a total stranger, sending me an email comforting me and generously giving advice after he read one of my rants in a Yahoo! Group. Now that is special!

Kudos to you Rudy! I hope the rest of my friends get to know you...

YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!

>hugs<

on both change and permanence...

Whew! Cheers all around! It's another year gone past and a new one dawning on all of us!

As custom dictates...we all have to make pleasantly "breakable" promises:

1. I will continue to be happily plump. Although I do plan to lose a few pounds before my brother's wedding.
2. I promise to try my best to cut down on cab rides this coming school year, especially now that I won't have someone to drive me the whole school week. (As if this is even possible...)
3. I promise to lessen my neurotic tendencies this year. (Bwahahahaha)
4. I will try my bestest (damn that word 'sif) to finish all my thesis requirements within the prescribed timeframe. (GOD HELP US)
5. Oh, and...WORLD PEACE (WTF?!?!)

Hope y'all have a blast this 2006. Remember:

NO REGRETS...

>hugs<